Other Sanders Sides One Shots

Important: Touch Starved

[Written January 28, 2018]

Genre: Virgil angst

Word count: 586

Tws: Cursing, hella self deprecation, depression. Hopeful/open ending.

He didn't immediately know it was going to be a bad day. He woke up and felt the normal amount of trepidition, and forced himself to get out of bed like usual. He stopped at his bedroom door, his hand rested on the handle, and it hit him.

Fuck.

He was much more high strung than normal.

He silently begged for none of the other sides to be out yet as he left to get coffee. Patton was sitting at the dining table, though, eating lunch. He glanced up guiltily as Virgil passed through.

"Morning, Anxiety!" He sang.

Virgil grumbled out a greeting and went to grab his mug. His stress spiked as he checked around once, twice, three times. It wasn't there.

"Oh!" Patton jumped up and started towards him, but stopped a few feet away. "Uh, Roman and I organized the kitchen last night. He'd made a bunch of new stuff for all of us, new mugs and stuff... Uh, we had to move yours." He shifted a little, hesitating, before just pointing at the cabinet underneath the counter.

Virgil crouched down to open it. His plain black mug sat, alone in the cobwebs.

Yeah. That definitely made sense.

"Thanks," he muttered- He kind of felt like he had to -and snatched it, rising to make his coffee.

Patton sat back at his seat and watched anxiously as Virgil set the mug under the pot. He messed about with the buttons for a moment before realizing he needed a new pod, and his frustration spiked, and then it told him he needed to refill the water tank, and he couldn't help but let out a strangled cry of frustration, followed by a soft whimper.

Patton swallowed. "Anxiety?" He asked, sounding guilty. "Do you need some help?"

Virgil wiped his eyes with the back of his sleeve and straightened up. "No. I've got it."

He filled the water tank and brewed his coffee. Just as he was about to leave, Patton rushed up and, though he looked uneasy, rested a hand on Virgil's arm.

"Are you feeling okay?"

It was so warm, pressed in through his hoodie, living and real, and Virgil realized what was the matter, why he felt so awful, why he was so strung tight and stressed out.

He was lonely.

He was so goddamn lonely it hurt.

He wanted to throw himself at Patton. He wanted to smash his mug. He wanted to cry. Scream. Break down.

"Fine," he choked out, rushing past Patton and disappearing into his bedroom.

He didn't deserve Patton's love. He didn't deserve any of their love. All he wanted was to protect him, and he took it too far, so far they hated him. He couldn't do it right. He couldn't do anything right.

He curled up on his bed and sipped his coffee. He couldn't bring himself to talk to himself, he didn't think he was worth that right now. But he didn't have anything to do today- So he wrapped himself up in his blankets, he cried, and he went back to sleep.

He didn't know this, but he was going to be fine. It would take a while. It would take a lot of work. It would hurt. It would drive him crazy. He would come close to giving up.

But one day he would wake up, Roman curved around his body, Logan holding his hand, and Patton stroking his hair.

One day he would wake up and not feel like this anymore.