Not Letting Go

Chapter 7

When you get to the song, please go paste this into a browser to listen:

Neverfinished.bandcamp.com/track/time-is-a-place

Just like I would never call myself a writer I am no musician, but neither is Max, so this works. Also, forgive my poor looping. It's what happens when I don't finish something in one sitting. Hope you still enjoy.

They made it back to Blackwell and went straight to Max's room. Neither had to ask.

Max sat on her bed and her friend followed suit. The brunette lay curled up in a partial fetal position while Kate sat with crisscrossed legs. Looking down, she saw the younger girl have a thoughtful worried look.

Kate broke the silence. "I know this has been so hard for you, Max. Have you been doing anything for yourself to get through it? Besides talking to Joyce?" She reached out to touch Max, but her friend got up and slipped off the bed.

"I...I've been working on something," Max said hesitatingly. "But it's not really done."

"Oh? What is it?"

"Well...a song."

"Oh? I didn't know you wrote your own music," Kate said, perking up a little.

"I don't. So, it's not very good. But I wanted to do something for Chloe. Maybe myself really?" Max shrugged.

"Would you play it for me?"

"I don't know..."

"It would be good for you. I mean, at least I think it would. You don't have to, of course, but it might help."

"Some of it only makes sense to me though."

"That's okay. It's for you anyways, Max. That's all that matters."

"I guess...well, okay. This is what I have so far." She reached for her guitar.

Max sat on the floor with her instrument in her lap. After a couple quick restarts, she got into a melody and softly sang. The words came out in the pained tones she felt when writing them and tears built up.

When I came so late,
you still had room

When time was a place,
I could come back to you

Now I'd trade the Bay
just to see that blue

To hear you say
what shit you'll do

Don't tell me
what's meant to be

Just come back,
please come back
to me

Just come back,
please come back
to me

Come back now,
all our debts
are paid

To hell with this town,
let me trade the Bay...

At what seemed halfway through there was cease in the strumming as Max put her hand to cover her face and the last words were a whispered cry.

"I'm sorry. It's...hard to get through sometimes," Max said quietly as she composed herself, ending with a sniffle.

Kate's lips were slightly parted, not able to hide how taken aback she was with Max's raw feelings expressed so passionately.

"That's okay Max. Wow though," She breathed after a moment. "That was so...heartfelt. She would have loved it."

"Yeah?" Max said with a strained voice, looking up to Kate. "I hope so."

"I know so. Who wouldn't? I know I would." Kate pursed her lips, strengthening her resolve before she continued, "You ever want to play, the both of us? If you're this beautiful alone, imagine us together. Um, playing music," she added, seeing her friend freeze up.

"Uh...yeah, maybe. I hear you practice and you're definitely in a whole different class than me."

"I don't know about that. It's worth seeing how we are together, though right?"

"Maybe...I'll let you know when I feel, um...up to it."

Max dipped her head down and tried to discreetly focus more on Kate's face, wondering if she was reading too deep into what she just said. Now Kate appeared to be in serious contemplation as she stared off. That could mean a lot of things, Max thought. Her own mind turned to guilt. Guilt at the feelings that were growing which felt so unfair to Chloe and still doubting there was anything except friendship being reciprocated with Kate. Her suspicions felt painfully obvious but at the same time she felt crazy for thinking it.

"So..." Max began, trying to pass through the awkward moment. "My parents are going to be back tomorrow."

"Yeah? Is that a good thing?"

"Not really. Not at all actually, Max amended. "They want me to go back home."

Kate tried hiding her concern, but her expression turned downcast.

"And what do you want?"

"I want to stay here. But, I don't know...," Max trailed off.

"I know they probably just want to make sure you're okay. What are you going to do?"

"I don't know."

"We'll think of something."

"We?"

Kate smiled. "Of course. I'm not going to let them take my best friend without a fight. As long as you want to stay."

"I do," Max said uncertainly with a focused eye contact on her friend. They both looked away, not able to maintain the shared and weighted gaze.

"So, Max...I have some things I need to do, but I'll be back tonight, if that's okay?"

Max replied neutrally, "Of course. Do what you need to do."

"Great," Kate smiled hoping it would would be returned, but Max's demenour remained passive and hollow. She hopped off the bed and Max stood up as she came near, leaning the guitar against the wall. As soon as she did, Max turned back towards the bed and was in Kate's arms in a firm hug. Max sucked in her lips and her body stiffened. It was not the same as before when her touch froze her friend sometimes. It was as if the closeness was no longer welcome. Kate noticed, but did not react.

"I'll see you a little later?" Kate spoke with some hesitation as if asking a question. She expressed her concern about things being okay between them with just her tone. Something had changed after her friend played the song, she knew that much. Kate tried to read her, but Max looked down and whispered out, "'kay."

After a moment, Kate relented to Max holding back whatever was on her mind and said, "Text if you need me. Okay?"

Once Max nodded, she walked to her bed and let herself collapse into it. Kate started to leave, all the while worriedly looking at Max until she got to the door. She noted "little Kate" resting on a table on the other side of the room as she finally turned to walk down the dim and empty hall.