Not Letting Go

Chapter 37

As they walked to the car, Max began to feel light headed, but fought to stay balanced, subtly using Kate as an anchor, though not pulling her with any pressure. The brunette was just realizing how weak she had become. The adrenaline from the events inside the church and the kissing afterwards carried her through until now. She told herself that she would be strong for Kate though.

Max glanced at her when they reached Betty and saw a touch of blood, smeared on and above her upper lip. The brunette quickly, but gently wiped it away with her hand, then did the same under her own nose, knowing something would be there too. Kate just stood there in a fugue state. It hurt Max to see the bright light in her diminished. She needed to embrace her again before they got in, so put her arms around the blonde, holding her firmly.

Kate slowly put her own arms around Max, slipping them around to come together at the small of the brunette's back. When the freckled girl was about to say something, Kate spoke first, saying, "I didn't even get to see them..." She silently cried with tears running down her cheeks.

"I'm so sorry...but they all knew...I couldn't let you go in there."

Kate just sniffled in response, seeming to be holding herself back from crying.

As Max swiveled their closely joined bodies in a slight rocking motion, she assumed Kate meant she did not get to see her sisters. Even before she rewound, the blonde had yet to spot them, at least so Max surmised. It didn't matter now that it never happened, at least not for them, the freckled girl thought. It was weird, thinking about alternate timelines and what was real. It was still hard for the brunette to wrap her mind around it all.

Max stopped the motion and leaned back to see how Kate seemed. The blonde hung her head down, and was holding her bottom lip under her teeth while her eyes stayed shut. The brunette was about to speak when Kate moved her head up and kissed her suddenly. There was a fierceness in the way she came at the freckled girl, that felt to her like a desperation to escape. Max felt a bittersweet pleasure in giving her that comfort. Their lips pressed together, and hands held each other's bodies firmer. Max's mouth slightly parted and the blonde eagerly slipped her tongue in, instantly meeting the other's. The kissing quickly became more instense and then Kate couldn't hold it in anymore and pulled away shuttering, but there was pain behind it more than pleasure and this killed Max. She had been longing to freely kiss her, but not like this. When it happened right outside the church, their love seemed liked it could conquer any hurt, or at least get her through it. Now though...Max wasn't sure.

She pulled Kate in again for a tight embrace.

"Let's go home now, please," Kate quietly said, sounding like she could cry at any moment.

"Sure, Katie. Let's go," Max said and kissed the side of her head. She opened the door for her and watched as she stared off blankly when she sat down. The brunette almost couldn't close the door, seeing her like this, but knew she had to get them out of this place.

Once she did, Max quickly went around and got into the driver's seat. She looked over saw the blonde just sitting there spaced out in a fog while looking down. When it didn't seem like she would snap out of it, Max reached over to buckle her seatbelt for Kate. Before she returned to her seat, the brunette kissed her girlfriend on the cheek. As she pulled away though, Kate placed her hand behind Max's head and pulled her back to kiss her lips. This time it was much more sweet and tender. After their lips parted, the blonde kept her near with their noses pressing slightly together, both keeping their eyes closed. They could feel each other's slow breaths and Max had taken the blonde's hand in her own and was caressing the top of it with her thumb. She opened her eyes to look down at what she was doing. They stayed like this for a few seconds until Kate said, still with noticeable melancholy, "I love you so much, Em."