diagnosed (calum hood fanfiction)

V

grace's pov

After intently staring at the white wall of the shower located in my bathroom for what seemed like hours, I decided to get out.

I dry myself off, and tie my dark hair into another while towel. The contrast of the dark and light colors between my hair and the cloth remind me of the division between night and day, and how Mikey and I would constantly get yelled at for being out past curfew. I bet our parents regret yelling at that, what now seems, insignificant detail. I bet they would give anything for Michael and I to be staying out past curfew. But, that will never happen again.

I squeeze my eyes shut, and huff out a deep, long breath I just now realized I was holding in.

"Okay," I say to myself as I examine my face in the mirror. I've had the habit of constantly talking to myself ever since I was a little kid, and sometimes when I'm in public I have to stop myself. "Everything will be okay. Michael is so proud of you. You can do this. You will have a great time."

I hear the voices still, but they're so much quieter and less alarming than they were a few hours ago.

I decide on an oversized T-shirt, even though I know Kate will be mad at my choice of outfit for such a special occasion. I grin at the thought of her getting mad about my taste in clothing, and decide on wearing it anyways. I mean, she really can't force me to wear something else, she's already got me to go to this party in the first place.

I find a black lace bralette, and lay that out with my huge black T-shirt. It's my favorite shirt, it consists of Kurt Cobain smoking a cigarette in white sunglasses. After months of searching for this shirt of my dreams, and never finding it, my friend who works with prints for shirts, gifted it to me for my 17th birthday. Who knew a T-shirt could make someone so happy, honestly.

I quickly choose some black fishnets, along with underwear and some small black spandex, because my shirt covers my butt anyways. The shorts are security, just to make me feel a bit more confident.

I start to get dressed, and groan when I realize I still have a bunch of spare time to be alone with my thoughts before Kate is here to pick me up. I finish getting ready, and plop on my bed, my semi-wet hair sticking to my cheeks. I'm going to let it air-dry, and just keep it natural. My hair is naturally wavy, not too curly and not too straight, just perfect. That's a quality of myself that I actually don't mind- my hair.

After I laying on my bed for a couple minutes and scrolling through Twitter, I hear my mom knock on my door.

"Wanna get some groceries with me?" She asks, smiling down at me.

I sit up and face her, smiling when I see her beaming down at me. "Okay, sounds good."

•••

A few hours pass after returning home from the grocery store, and wait impatiently by my door for Kate to arrive. When I asked my mom about going, a small part of me was hoping she would say no. But, just like I predicted, she said yes. She even seemed to be more excited than Kate was over the phone, and that made me happy. It always made me feel good to see my mom happy and proud to do something I normally wouldn't. She always says to 'live my best life no matter what's going on in my head.'

"I love you so much Grace." She says, and comes to hug me goodbye.

"Mom, I'll be back, don't worry," I laugh at her. She's squeezing me so hard I can hardly catch my breath. "My gosh, I love you too, but I promise you I'm not leaving forever."

She pulls away and looks at my face. Since arriving back home from the store, I've added minimal makeup. This includes filling in my eyebrows, applying the smallest amount of neutral eyeshadows consisting of colors like browns, and mascara. I run my lips together, remember that I've also glossed them up too.

"I know, love. I'm just so proud of you. I am so happy you're enjoying yourself, you absolutely deserve it." She says, pulling in for one more hug, and then the headlights to Kate's car flash across the wall next to the front door as she pulls into my driveway.

"I love you mom." I say, smiling up at her and she kisses my forehead. With that, I turn, and walk to Kate's passenger seat.

I can see her roll her eyes, I'm guessing at my outfit choice, and I walk to the seat.

"Oh, come on. Couldn't you have at least wore a skirt?" She laughs, changing the gear of her car from pro to reverse as she pulls out of my driveway.

"Nope, what do you expect from me?" I laugh back, looking at her.

"Well, you look hot as fuck anyways. I wish I could just wear a huge shirt and pull it off. God damn it, Grace." She laughs, playfully punching my arm.

"Well I apologize." I smile back at her, and she glances to smile at me.

"I love the fishnets, though. If you don't get some tonight then something is seriously wrong with the entire male population." She says, shutting her shoulders as she looks ahead and turns into John's neighborhood.

"Don't we already know that, though?" I retort back, and she nods her head in agreement. I smile as I glance out the window, resting my hands on the top of my thighs.

—-

hi guys
a lil filler chapter for you guys, i promise next chapter will be much more exciting!!
anyways, who else is like, really jealous about this imaginary Kurt shirt that I made up from his iconic photo shoot?
brb, gunna go search the internet for like three years to find this shirt that probably doesn't exist but should lmao
anyways, love u guys!! hope you're enjoying so far :-))
(next chapter is bomb. just wAIT)

-bluboycth