You're An Idiot, Sherlock Holmes (OC x Sherlock)

Fast Learner You Are

I decided to run to the grocery store to buy some things, and Sherlock said he needed time to think alone in the flat anyway, so I decided to take the opportunity. I already bought all of the produce, and I was in the self-checkout area, scanning everything on the scanner. 

"Unexpected item in bagging area," the automated voice says. "Please try again." I scanned some asparagus, don't get excited. I take the asparagus again and scan it closer to the scanner and slowly. "Item not scanned, please try again." I let out a sigh before glancing back at the line behind. It wasn't this long before. 

"Maybe keep your voice down, how 'bout that?" I say frustratedly to the machine. 

I finally scan the asparagus and insert my credit card and type in my PIN. "Card not authorized."

"Oh, is it now?" I give the machine a death stare for no reason. 

"Please use alternative method of payment." It continues repeating the same phrase, and everyone in the line is giving me a dirty look.

"You know what, keep it all," I say, taking my card out. "See if I care." I walk out of the store with everything left on the table. 

I get to the flat and walk up into the living room. Low and behold, Sherlock is still in the same chair, with the same book, and barely moved an inch. 

"You took your time," Sherlock says without looking up from his book before I manage to say anything.

"That's cause I didn't get anything," I reply. 

He looks ups from his book. "What? Why not?" 

"because I got into a fight with the self-checkout machine," I answer. 

"You- you had a row with a machine?" He raises an eyebrow. 

"Kinda. It just sat there and I said some things I'm not too proud of. Have any cash?" 

"Take my card." He nods toward the kitchen. Somehow I'm surprised he just let me borrow something like that from him. 

"Thanks," I mutter, walking into the kitchen to grab his card. I quickly turn back to him. "Or you know, you could always go yourself. You've been sitting there all morning. I don't think you've moved since I left." I grab his wallet from the table. "Whatever happened to that case about the . . . what was is it- the Jaria diamond?" 

"Not interested." I hear him close his book behind me. I then hear some clanking for a brief moment, though I don't know what it could be. "I sent them a message." I take his card out and notice a long scratch on the table.

I sigh and click my tongue. "Sherlock . . . " I look at him for an explanation, but he just shrugs. 

After my second trip to the store, and some nasty looks from the employees, I go up the stairs to the flat with bags of produce piling in my arms. "Don't worry about me, I'll manage," I say to Sherlock, who was on his laptop, while I was walking into the kitchen. I set everything down on the table and- wait. Sherlock's laptop is in the kitchen. I look back at him. He has my laptop. Does he? He does.

I clear my throat. "Is that my laptop?" I ask him. 

"Of course," he answers while he types. 

"I'm sorry, what?"

"Mine is in the kitchen."

"And you didn't bother getting up?" I look at my computer again. "It's password protected!" 

"In a matter of speaking, took me less than a minute to guess yours." He looks up from the screen to me. "Not exactly Fort Knox." 

"Wow, thanks." I close the laptop lid and take it from him, setting it down on the coffee table and sitting on the couch. A pile of papers lays amongst it and I pick them up and begin to look at them. "Oh my," I mutter, looking at the bills. "You're gonna need to get a job."