BTS Imagines - Depressing

Yoongi - Depression

Trudging along the side of the newly cut grass, I am unsure of where I'm going. Unaware of what is about to happen. I don't care what happens.

Numb. Empty. Lonely. My feelings left me years ago, since then things have only deteriorated.

I raise my head for the first time, my vision met with a bridge. Lit up by street lamps that contrast with the night sky.

Once upon a time I would've thought it was beautiful, not anymore. Now it's one of the most vile things I have ever seen, because it's part of the world, and the world is a horrible place.

Dark thoughts cloud my already dark mind. I know what I must do...

After what feels like forever I finally reach my destination.

I peer over the side of the bridge that is going to be the last thing I know. I watch my legs begin to shake from the breeze and nerves, which I struggle to feel, as I place one foot on the railing. Closely followed by the other. The sounds of cars flying past me surrounds me.

No one is stopping, they just drive past. Like I'm invisible.

I take one last deep breath inhaling all the shit I have had to put up with for the last 18 years of my life. (I'm not actually 18)

Why? What brought me here? Why me?

Questions race through my head as I prepare myself for what I knew was coming next.

Gazing up at the stars, I take in as much as I can, desperately trying to feel something. Anything.

But I can't. So I do the only thing I know what to do. I jump...

I await the feeling of falling, the feeling of hitting the hard, cold ground. But it doesn't come.

Suddenly, strong arms wrap around my slim torso as a deafening shout fills my ears.

"STOP!" The voice is quite deep, and it's definetly a man's voice. The voice holds a frantic feel to it and I can clearly hear the worry in it.

It sounds unnatural, like this person doesn't worry or shout often.

Pinned to the ground, I finally see my 'saviour'.

I freeze as he comes into vision. His eyes are small and calm, his lips thin slightly open. His breath is heavy and he's panting as if he just ran.

Obviously he is strong, the firm grip on my wrists I don't even try to get out of, I know I would lose.

I cant help but stare at his mouth, it begins to move.

"Why? Why are you doing this?" The voice becomes audible again, the tint of sadness quite prominent.

Unable to answer I let my head hang low.

I feel his weight disappear. Assuming he's gone I lie there, holding back the warm water threatening to escape.

The familiar arms return to my torso as he lifts me up from the ground. His hand delicately lands under my chin as he pulls my head up to face him.

Now he is standing I can see his perfect figure. He is skinny, not worryingly but he shouldn't get any skinnier.

"Come with me." Sounding much more in his comfort zone, any trace of sympathy has left as coldness over runs his voice.

Without word I follow. He clasps my lower arm and begins to lead me somewhere. I should be weary but I'm not, I still don't care what happens. It doesn't matter if he kills me, I was going to die anyway.

Eventually, we end up in a desolate park. He releases me suddenly, almost making me fall over.

"Careful. Now you need to explain some things to me." He states.

I don't even know his name why would I tell him anything?

Talking to him for the first time I keep it short and simple, "I don't even know you."

As if he was expecting it he answers immediately, "Hi, I'm Suga, my real name is Yoongi. I live in this area and ye.."

Ok, fair enough.

"Now talk to me."

Tears that had been on the brink of falling finally flow, creating a cascade.

Unexpectedly he pulls me into his chest and hugs me. Such a simple gesture yet such a powerful one. I can't remember the last time I was hugged.

It's a really nice feeling.

Feeling. I felt something?

"Shhhh, It's ok. Calm down." His voice is soothing as he comforts me.

Once most of the tears have stopped running he proceeds.

"Ok, now you are a bit better tell me what you can."

I take a deep breath before speaking, "Everything is just so hard. I don't feel anything, ever! My life is one big mess and I'm a wreck. I can't fix it, the only thing to do to stop hurting is to... End it."

I cant get out much more than that, its too difficult. Obviously so much more is on my mind but hopefully that's enough to satisfy him for now.

"It's ok. I understand." my sad expression turns to a confused one, "I have depression as well. I once felt like you, alone and hopeless. As you know depression doesn't go away but I have forgotten I have it recently, it doesn't really affect my life anymore. If you hold on for a bit longer then I can help you and others can help you to get better as well."

His words hit me like a million shards of glass. Can I get better? Is it actually possible?

Choosing to trust this stranger, I think about what he has done for me already.

"O-ok."

Appearing on his face is the cutest little smile. "Ok, good. Come on ill take you to mine and we can talk more there."

I agree as we start walking because he said its not far.

Hope. Hope is in sight?

Wow. Its weird, I haven't felt like I can do anything other than suicide for a long time.

Thank you, Yoongi.

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It's a bit different from the other ones - tell me what you think about it!

I hope you enjoyed reading the next one will be a Namjoon one.

Thank you - Bangtanxxo