BTS Imagines - Depressing

Taehyung - Suicide

Taehyung's POV (7 years old):

"Daddy why isn't mummy here anymore?" I ask, curious after she said goodbye.

My dad sighs heavily the tears still fluently rolling down his face, he sniffles, "Mummy didn't want to be here anymore. She loves you so so much but she was dealing with a lot of hard things and it all got too much for her." 

I feel water droplets escaping my eyes, staining my skin as they cascade down my face, "Why couldn't we save her?" Desperation laces my voice.

"Some people just can't be saved, no matter what you do....they aren't meant to be saved." He releases a shaky breath before sobbing into his hands.

(10 years later) Y/n's pov:

Exhaustion.

It doesn't even get close to describing how utterly broken and tired I am. I want to give up, so desperately, but it's hard. It's hard to wait around for something I know might not happen, but it's even harder to give up when it's everything I ever wanted. 

Honestly, I'm not even sure what this miracle my whole life depends on is, but that just scares me evenmore. What if it doesn't exist? What if it's impossible? What if I never get it? Maybe some people just can't be saved...

The pain is excruciating, slowly eating away at me. It physically hurts, it hurts so much; it's unbearable. I want to scream and cry but I can't because I don't know what to say, and even if I did my pleas for help would fall upon deaf ears. 

About 6 years ago my whole life felt like it shattered and ever since then I've been trying to gather the millions of shards and fix it but everytime I go to pick up the glass it cuts me. After 6 years, I still see no hope at the end of the tunnel. Nothing big or dramatic happened 6 years ago, but mental health was a bitch and still is, and as I got older I became aware of the harsh realities of life.

My whole life is one big mess, and there's no point in holding on anymore, there's no point in living this hell. The pain is too loud, too overbearing. 

I grab the blade that has been sitting infront of me for the last 5 minutes and press it against my skin. Still I feel nothing as I roughly push the blade into my flesh. I feel nothing as I drag the blade down my arm vertically. I feel nothing as I drop the metal object to the ground and watch as the deep red metallic liquid oozes out of the cut, slithering slowly down my limb only to drop off at the end. And I feel nothing as darkness consumes my vision and my legs concave underneath me.

[...]

I force my eyes open only to retract again as the overwhelming lights piece my vision.

"Hello? Ms. Y/n?" A man's voice becomes audible to me as I attempt to open my eyes again, this time succeeding.

I groan to let him know I'm listening.

He seems to understand as he continues, "You're in the local hospital after you were found unconcious after a suicide attempt. Fortunately, we were able to treat you before you lost excessive amounts of blood. I understand you must be feeling fatigued right now so I will leave you to rest and we will talk later." Without another word he exits the room.

"Hi." A deep voice speaks to my left, startling me as I'm still trying to comprehend everything.

I turn to face the unknown man and furrow my eyebrows.

"My name is Kim Taehyung!" He smiles, it's a unique boxy smile, "Y/n right? I heard why you are in here and I'm sorry to hear about that but I think this is fate, we can become bestfriends!" 

His overly cheerful personality would usually annoy me, but he's different and for some reason it's tolerable. 

"Thanks." I mumble unsure of what else to say.