BTS Imagines - Depressing

Taehyung - Bulimia

*Please suggest scenarios you want to see with which member, Thank you! :)*

"Mmhmm, this is delicious." I exclaim tucking into the delicacy before me.

My friend, Hoseok, nods in approval, too busy eating to speak. As soon as we've finished I excuse myself to the bathroom, refusing to waste anymore time than necessary. I enter the toilet and check the stalls are empty. Once assuring myself I'm alone, I roll up my shirt, met with my bloated stomach, the sight enough to make me feel sick. 

I'm about to go into one of the stalls when I see urinals across the wall. I freeze, my brain struggling to comprehend that in my rush I went into the male toilets. I debate in my head what to do next; I could leave but that risks me getting seen if someone comes into the bathroom, or I could stay in here but I could still get seen when leaving and if someone comes in whilst I'm in here I'm done for - but the longer I take to decide the harder it will get to throw up. 

Prioritising being skinny over possible embarrassment, I make no hesitation as I go into the nearest stall and lock the door.

I kneel over the white bowl of water and immediately shove my index and middle fingers down my throat until I start gagging, the all too familiar sounds falling from my mouth. The action repeats until the food I just consumed comes back up.

"Hello?" A deep voice calls out as I finish puking up my guts.

I stay silent not wanting to be caught in the boys bathroom and even more not wanting anyone to find out about my disorder.

This time he knocks on the door, "Hello? Are you ok?"

Realising, he won't leave me alone I try my best to put on a man's voice and reply, "I'm fine thank you."

He pauses before talking again, "Um..are you sure?" 

Not wanting to give away my gender I don't answer and wait until I'm certain he's gone. I sigh as I exit the stall, going to the mirror to wash my face and mouth out. I watch the water droplets slowly fill up my hands before I splash my face and stand straight again. I look into the reflective piece of glass but halt as I do. 

A breath-taking man is staring at me, his expression one of shock.

"Y-you, you're a girl?" He stutters out. Shit.

My eyes widen at his revelation and I dash out, unwilling to explain myself.

[...]

"Oh my god! That's brilliant." Hoseok laughs as I tell him that I got caught in the boys room, leaving out the bulimic part.

I shove him playfully, "Shut up!" 

He wipes away his tears, "Anyway, I should get going."

I pout but don't stop him none the less.

[...]

It's been 2 days since the incident and no one else has found out about my habit, and that's the way I intend to keep it.

"Y/n!" Jimin calls me.

I run downstairs to see the two accompanying me tonight.

"Ready?" Hoseok asks as he starts opening the door.

We walk out together and get into Jimin's car, since his is the most stylish and we're going to a rather fancy restaurant for dinner, followed by clubbing.

It doesn't take us long and we're soon pulling up outside of the place.

Hoseok hums in approval, "Looks nice."

Me and the other nod our heads in agreement. We are swiftly seated at a table with menus in our clasp, our eager eyes scanning the paper in front of us to pick out the most delicious sounding one. Spoiled for choice, it takes us a while to decide, but when we finally do it takes around 45 minutes for the food to be brought out to us.

It was well worth the wait as every bite seems to melt onto my tongue, all the flavours vivid but not overpowering. Everything is the perfect balance, even the presentation was immaculate, before I plunged my fork into it completely messing up what I can only imagine took hours to prepare.

We finish rapidly, people probably thinking we've been starved all our lives, and routinely, I excuse myself to the bathroom.

They are single toilets rather than actual toilets, so only one person can go in at a time. I brush off the fact and go in to do what I need to do.

[...]

As I finish I give myself a once over in the shining mirror, checking for anything on my face, to which there are none, and exit the toilet.

I stand paralysed to this very spot on the ground, shocked at the man standing before me, the same man who saw me in the boys bathroom.

His eyes widen for a second before his composure returns, obviously with something more important tampering with his mind.

"Are you ok?" He speaks slowly.

At his words I regain control of my body and nod at the same speed.

"I heard you in the other bathroom, a couple days ago." He informs me, making me want to disappear even more.

Ignoring what he's getting at I say, "Oh yeah, sorry about that. I didn't mean to go into the men's bathroom!"

"That's not what I-"

"Well bye!" I cut him off trying to get away but he holds my wrist, preventing me from moving.

"I'm sorry but I'm worried about you." he states solemnly.

"You don't even know me." I scoff, wanting this man to mind his own business.

I understand he's only trying to help and be nice but I can't have him telling anyone else.

He sighs, "Look please just be honest with me, if I've got it completely wrong I will leave you alone and I apologise in advance but I need to know - do you force yourself to throw up your food?"

I gulp, his voice is so soothing, almost coaxing me into telling the truth but I won't let my mind be fooled so easily, "Yes." Shit! How did he do that, I just told him the truth effortlessly.

He bites his lip, which might I add is very attractive, and cautiously begins, "Ok, I won't tell anyone don't worry, but please let me help you."

I think his voice has magical powers or something because I'm actually tempted to agree. I consider for a moment: I mean he's extremely good looking and appears to be really kind hearted as well so I wouldn't mind spending more time with him. I also know he won't be able to help me anyway as I dont need help, I have it under control but I don't want to stop because this helps me stay skinny. So for these reasons only I say "Ok."

This was the beginning of the end of my eating disorder story. I didn't realise it straight away but I am to this day so grateful that this stranger was nice enough to help me through this. A year on and we are dating happily and I no longer suffer from bulimia. Please to anyone else out there who is struggling, whether it's from a kind stranger or a parent or friend or a professional, get help.

---------------------------------------------------------

Thank you so so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed.
Let me know if you want a follow on from this chapter so like another part telling the story of how he helped her and how they began dating.

I'm so sorry for not being active but I've been struggling more than ever recently I just seem to be on a downward slope and I've been feeling pretty hopeless to be honest. But I will try and get better for you all to continue posting.

Thank you for being patient and understanding - Bangtanxxo :)