Upside Down

First year

After months ... After I got used to all I was going into my first year of high school, I was alone again, no friends and nothing all was left in my last school, starting new all over ... Nothing changed .. same judges same looks same eyes ... Same hate without a word ..same ignorance..
But I had hope again with first friend I made in my first year two to be more accurate.. they made it best year for me ... I was so happy with them and I thought all is going good again .. we made laughs and memories 😍😍😍
I didn't care about any judgments at the time ; I had them and that was enough.
My life was getting well again ..I forgot all sadness .. tried to live again and feel stuff ... But it is like written for me to not get something till the end
As I went through my sec year ... I lost them just for caring
She was down and I cared ... She didn't wanna to talk and I respected
But she left and I didn't even know why ? Was it me ? Was it her? Idk
At the time I had known a band not much but their songs
Wasn't much interested but I liked them .. their songs used to be with me whenever I was alone and I got that as enough ... From that time my trust was completely crushed ... I will laugh but not from heart ..I will smile but not as happiness ..
From that moment I shut down completely again, no friends , no close one, I don't wanna anyone , I got my life and my music, friends sucks so I got enough...
Honestly I got enough from all my life .. that was my last point
That was it for me
No care no father no friends nothing is good ... Yeah I had reasons to be happy for anyone who sees but all I could see at the time is bad ...
"I am worthless .. no one wants me .. no one understands and no one will"
Those were my last thought before i think of jumping in front of a subway while I was waiting for a "friend" to pick her up ..
But having one last spark of hope ..I revised myself again ..
What about my mom ? My grandma ? My uncle ? One direction? (The band I loved) ... I can't leave all that !! I can't leave the band I loved ..I can't let who broke me live and I die ?!?! They ain't worth ... I don't need anyone to be happy ..I have those five boys !!! Brothers!!! They care for me even if they didn't know ?!? I love them and I know they love us .... Nope I won't.. god gave me this life and I have to fight to be the best !! To break them all to show them who I can be ?!? This won't be my end ...
By this I stepped back and got myself together again ... I will go on my own and I will make it 😔😔😔😔
As I closed that door...
Destiny had other plans ... For another heartbreak .. it gave me another friend just to take it again
At the half of the year I met an old friend from my old school .. finally I am not alone , finally someone who will get me , someone who won't judge (what I thought) ... We met and we became closer we continued our last year and half together and we were so happy but for me
I felt she was always away ... Not by her existence but by her heart ... She liked me ,I made her laugh but that's all ...I didn't get sure of that but later ...

- Wanna know how Alex found out  ? Keep up with next chapter 😉😉😉😉😉
Sorry for late update guys I had college and stuff you going...I hope I make it up to you .. thanks for keeping up
Leave your comments and tell me what you think 😍😍😍😍😍😍 see ya lovelies