REAPER (SERPENT'S MC: BOOK 3)

Chapter 19

🎵...KEEP ON DREAMING, DON'T STOP GIVING, 

FIGHT THOSE DEMONS, SELL YOUR SOUL NOT YOUR WHOLE SELF...🎵 

***

OLIVIA

Beloved son, brother, and friend.

He truly was. 

He was a beloved son, his father far better than mine ever could be. A brother, to all the Strings, a leader for the helpless people. A friend, who I could trust blindly without any hesitation. And the worst thing is even in the end, he couldn't hate me.

Even if I forgot his death anniversary.

Every year the day of his death went by me hating myself more and the Strings hunting me like a dog. This year I'm late to the party. I have already found a replacement for the pain. A grey-eyed man who doesn't hesitate to hear me out and not retaliate in the process. It's far better than what happens every year. Far too...dreamy that I'm afraid it wouldn't take long to shatter.

So I stuck to what I usually have known as. I didn't have to worry about mom. Not really. She didn't care as long as I wasn't ruining her parties or shown crying in my own house in front of the media. Dad on the other hand...well God forbid if he ever could look me at the eyes after what happened.

You will forget what happened and chin up. No daughter of mine is a coward.

And I knew. God, I knew. I saw all the receipts, all the time he has looked at me in disgust. I know that he didn't mean to. Not at first. He was trying hard, that I can't ignore even if my mind doesn't let me. The first few months he tried to talk, but then one day he just stopped, disappeared...gave up on me as mom said. Even if he never said a word to me I knew that he was doing his best to keep them away. Maybe giving them more money. 

But all it earned me is more hate, more vengeance.

The familiar scenery in front of me makes it too easy to pretend that I saved at least one of Kai's wishes. He wanted his gang safe, I saved them. But I don't have the heart to admit that to anyone. Even now. Even right now kneeling down near Kai's grave, all I can think about is what if I chose the other option.

He'd hate me then.

I'm still that coward mom found in that room crying over his body. I'm still that selfish daughter whose father has to bought people to shut their mouth off. Still, the ignorant sister whose brother is settling down but I don't even know with who. 

"Ela?" 

I am forced to turn around at the sudden voice. As someone who knows I will be here. Am I that predictable these days?

"You are here." I tense at his obvious tone. He could at least pretend that he had to find me distressed in a cemetery when I should have been discussing what to do with Lorenzo's ledgers with Rea-Fraser.  

"Adam, hey." I nod looking away. He doesn't react when I stand up to come closer to him. He is one of those dirty half torn shirts again. At least this time he is sober and not getting drunk in a shitty bar.

"Are you ok?" 

"I'm fine. Thank you." I counter quickly before he can go to the morbid details of how I look anything but fine. 

How easy it would be to just walk away before he really starts questioning why I am here. Why I am late. Did I really forget the important date? I consider it...

But then he's already nodding towards Kai's grave. "I-I put some flowers on behalf of you. I thought you will be busy this year-"

The flinch comes easily. Adam already thinks that I've moved on. Maybe I have. But not enough to get rid of the sting that his words leave behind.

"It's ok. I was coming anyway."

He takes one look at me and grins. "I know."

I have nothing to say but I can't stop myself. I need something to go on. Something to prove to my father that I'm not the person he thinks me as. "I went to Venom. Lorenzo was already out of the club before any of us can catch him. Do you know anything about it?"

This time though he reacts. A little twitch in his eyes. Somethings wrong.

"You tell me, Ela. Why the fuck did he run?"

"I don't know," I say try to hold back the glint. "But you know, don't you? Your eyes always twitch when you are hiding something...or you are angry."

His face is devoid of any expression when he declares something even I have a hard time to understand. "A Serpent got to him before you could. You were with them, weren't you? I thought you know."

A Serpent?

Only when my hand reaches out that I notice that I'm gripping his shoulder in warning. He had to be mistaken. All the Serpents were with me or I'd known if they tried to double cross the FBI. My voice hardens. "No way in hell, Adam. I was there. I was there all day with them. It can't be one of them-"

"Well, it is. It's one of the Serpents and his woman who broke the asshole's door and took something important. I saw them with my own eyes." He's talking but the only thing I catch onto is-

"You were there?" Should I have been really surprised? He's always there, in the shadow looking after me. Even before-

"Then you saw us too." It's almost funny how I don't find myself to care enough to be guilty. He doesn't even look at me differently now that he has seen me practically fucking Fraser two times in a raw in the club. 

"Yeah, I did." He shrugs sighing. "It was none of my business. You can love anyone you can."

The words sound wrong coming from him. Love? I don't love Fraser. I can't. There's only been one person I have loved. And he is right there laying six foot under.

"I don't love him." I really can't. Adam raises his eyebrow in concern when I deliberate. "Reaper. I don't love him. We only fucked when in need and that's it. I will leave Southside once my job is done anyway."

His eyes widen but not in shock. Is it...pity? 

"Kai wouldn't want you like this. I saw the way you looked at that guy. When you tried to find him all panicking-"

"Well, Kai isn't here to tell me." Low blow. But I continue anyway. "And if you knew that the Strings were going to be there, you saw what they said...you should have helped me. You should be the one been there for me. But you weren't."

"For a good reason. Before I could reach you, I saw how you jumped on him. You were looking for him, Ela. Only him. I wouldn't have mattered." Wouldn't he? Was he right? Did I really put Fraser above Adam? Who did I know for years?

It's not right. Shit...it's not.

I don't realize my world halfway crumble when I crock out. "I loved Kai. I still do. Even if it takes decades I would still love Kai. No man or no guilt can ever change that."

By the time I'm finished I'm panting in anger and grief. How much fucked up can you be to kill the person you loved just to save his club?

I still remember how Kai was the only one who saw more than Elenora mom wanted to portray. I wasn't a good girl by any means, I always caused trouble, I was just...fucked up. And he loved it. He loved me just as I loved him.

Strings were his dream that cost his life.

It's a sore topic I want to avoid. Maybe that's why he leaves me with an understanding nod. And maybe that's what becomes my doom when I don't even notice the sudden shock going through my body. The familiar sting bringing back memories I'd rather keep buried.

Shit.

Two pairs of hand grasp my neck and in a second I'm out...