Pain and Pictures

Chapter 32- Realization

My heart quickened.

"No.... No! Victor? What are you thinking? I can't do that!"

"Why not? It's not like you've never taken them before? It's just oxy!"

"Just oxy? Have you seriously not listened to anything I've said? I have to get them legally! Or else I'm in violation of my agreement. They could take all my medicine away. Ones I, literally, need to survive!"

"Oh, fucking hell! You have got to be joking! Why would they need know? If you get them from me, you don't need to be tested. You don't need to even go to those ridiculous doctors! All they want is your money. Of course they put you on a million medications! When this is all you need. Let me help you!"

I was baffled. He really doesn't believe I'm sick at all. He actually thinks the pain is the only problem.

"Do you... do you believe I'm ill?"

He looked flustered by my question. Good God, he really thinks I'm faking.

Was Jordan right?

"Answer me."

"Vi. I believe... I believe you think you are ill. Which is understandable. What with your upbringing..."

"What does that mean?!"

"Just that, ermmm... you have been acting since you were a small child. It's logical that you'd... associate certain..."

He was stammering. Trying to come up with some explanation, but it was obvious to me what he thought.

"You actually believe I'm an idiot? Don't you? You think I'm a hypochondriac. That I'm making up my symptoms."

I was trying to stay calm.

"Victor, did you write the article?"

He looked up, surprise clearly on his face. He did it.

"What? No! Why would I? Why would I tell everyone about our mother? I'm just as much a victim as you! Honestly, it makes no sense."

"Which is exactly why you did it. You had to keep Jordan from revealing the truth about my illness, which meant divulging our secret. You knew I'd told him, you knew it was the only way to shift the blame."

My heart was racing. The look on his face went from denial to anger.

"Fine! Yes, I did it! But you're so fucking broken that it hasn't gotten you back to work! You are such a bloody drama queen! You couldn't just suck it up and be the world's whore, just as you've always been!"

He may as well have slapped me. Whore? What the hell was that?

"What? What?!"

"You have never been family to me. All you are good for is making money off entertaining. Like a whore. You're not even that good. You have a pretty face and people throw money at you. Even my father loved you more. That's right, your dear Uncle William. Do you know what, we're already spilling secrets, I might as well tell you everything."

I gulped for air, my lungs felt like a tonne of weight pressed into me.

"I've known I was adopted for most of my life. I even suspected our mum a few times, but always shot down the idea. I mean, why on earth would she give me up? Hm? But dear old dad, he'd come home drunk, smack me about, and say 'I certainly got the short end of the stick'. Little did I know, he was comparing me to you. He hated that he was saddled with me, instead of the golden child. The one who actually made something of herself. Instead of me, the loser. Do you know, I never wanted to be a solicitor? I hate law! It was what father wanted, it was always what he wanted. I did everything to make him proud of me! But he only ever talked about you! Even after the accident, while I watched the life draining from him, and he told me I was worthless! Right up until I put the pillow over his face and rushed his passing into hell."

Oh, God. He killed him. Where is Lance?!

"That's right, I can be dramatic too. Ha! When I learned the truth, I vowed to make you pay. To live off of your 'talent' for as long as possible. When you work, you don't hesitate to pay out. It's only when you're too 'sick' that you hold back. So, yes, I wrote the story and sold it to those vultures. But you should be kissing my damn feet! You were going to ruin your career! All for what? Pills you can easily buy off the street?! Wake up! Get over yourself and spread your filthy acting legs!"

He was bright red with rage. Spit was flying out if his mouth with every other word. He was unstable.

I could feel the telltale signs of my heart pumping too fast. I was shaking, my head spun, sweat poured down my back. But I was too scared to move.

A loud noise. A rush of feet.

"Don't move! Hands up!"