Never thought of Autumn could hit me like this.. not before I met the man.. the man who was supposed to be named as Mr Autumn. But he was Jongin.. Kim Jongin..
Beolsseo illyeoni jinanneunde nan ajik miryeon gadeukhaeseo
Sseulsseulhae eoneusae honjatmal"
My coffee went cold when I was disappeared in this song.. It's the first snow happening outside.. I am still not getting over him and yes , I am lonely..
Somehow I don't like snow.. it's been always depressing to me.. but this year I was waiting for it, I was waiting for the snow..
Right now I am in the nearest Starbucks from my hotel.. It's the Christmas eve and I got a long vacation.. I went out for a long drive at today morning.. as the snow started to fall, I had no option but rest for tonight..
Many things have changed since that day I left Jongin.. I changed my home, address, even my job.. I couldn't keep in touch with my family.. I chose to disappear with me.. If it's my destiny to live as an anonymous, I should accept this.. right ?
The one thing which I couldn't change is my cell number.. I have too many stuffs connecting with this, so I had to keep this.. Jongin tried to contact me through this but it's almost two months he gave up..
As my latte ended with the smoke, I decided to go in my room.. I liked the hotel, it's decently decorated..
I felt sleepy with some sort of dizziness.. may be I am making it too hard for me.. I didn't eat the whole day.. should I eat something ? leave it, I just had my coffee.. I will just sleep the whole night..
As I was getting out from the lift, my head stuck with someone's chest.. I was so tired that I couldn't lift my head, I just said, "excuse me" and left..
I moved my body near my bed and checked the time.. it was only 6 pm, but I felt like the midnight.. the sun sets at 4:30 pm , so yeah, it's not my fault.. the night's really long..
I didn't know anything after I lied down.. When I woke up, it was 9:30 pm..
Lying for more half an hour, I took a quick shower.. I decided to take a trip to the café , I was craving for a warm toasted butter croissant..
I was eating and checking my instagram at the same time.. I looked around where two lovebirds were having their sweet time.. I stared for a moment and turned my eyes away..
- Don't even dare to look at others..
I heard his voice.. Jongin.. sometimes he shows up like this.. out from my imagination.. and talks like this..
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So I replied, " Did I ever ?"
- " Did I let ?"
I stood up from my seat, " aah I am grateful.."
I walked towards my room.. when I opened my door, someone grabbed my arm and spoke under his breath, " I am coming inside.."
That man pushed me in the room and slummed the door.. I thought of shouting one time, then I stopped because I saw the face..
-aah, why ? why does my hallucination turn into this ?
- turn into what ?
He took off his beanie..
- I started feeling your touch
- because you want me
- when didn't I ?
- why did you leave then ?
- because you didn't want me
He came closer.. " I didn't ?"
I started crying, " I love you.. why can't I stop me ? If you keep coming like that.. I wont ever "
It's getting bad, I felt his breathe over my nose..
-such an over imagination ..
I felt his lips on mine, he kept pressing it for an eternity, then looked at my eyes,
"You still think it's an imagination ?"
I couldn't understand anything.. He smirked,
"I found you, Irinaa.. I found you, at last.."
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