ORNAMENTAL (alex turner > ArcticMonkeys)

CONIFER 2006

"C'mon, be excited man, we just SOLD OUT our first album!"

Alex smiled sheepishly, half of his mouth twisted in a grimace, the other half he forced to smile.  "Don't believe it, it's amazing!" That's what Alex had been repeating for the last eight hours whenever someone came up to congratulate him, along with 'don't believe the hype' of course.

He was more cautious about everything; tiny details about how he looked, the pitch of his voice, songs having meaning to him, flinching at any movement or flash of red.  Things that mattered in his head and not anyone elses because they just went along with it.

"Dude, really get up we're gonna leave without you!" Matt threatened playfully, tugging on his sleeve.

"This can't be a coincidence," Matt whispered but it just passed right over Alex's head. "No."

"Hey!" Alex stood up quickly pulling his leather bracelet over the mark, glaring at Matt.  "What are you doing?!"

"Woah, calm down I'm just trying to help." Matt held his hands up in a motion of mock surrender.

"You don't even know what I'm going through."  He accused.

"That's where your wrong mate because I think I do." Matt deliberated over it, chewing his lip as he tried to explain his experience, to put it into words.  "Well you see I have this friend, Ar and she well has the same problem.  That's where I've been, I haven't been avoiding you or anything. . ."

Alex listened to most of it, still confused but at least he had Matt.  It wasn't like Matt was leaving anytime soon either, he had to play for the band.

"Fine, let's go." His tone was still bitter but that was the first real hint of hope Alex had had in months and he was ashamed but he promised that he'd never let it get to him, he'd try to be as normal as possible along the way.

That evening he was more alive on stage, the other guys noticed to but saying something was not an option they'd like to dwell over so Matt and Alex were the only ones who knew.  His voice had taken more life to than the blank monotone of recent, having him beaming by the end of the night, returning to his playing the guitar seemed more connected to him than something that was just there. 

The invisible hole in his chest was still there, receding but the leather covered any reminder of the emptiness that would still grip him. 

"Anticipation has the habit to set you up, for disappointment in evening entertainment but, tonight there'll be some love,"  Alex wrote everything in the last year, the main hit was his pain but he smiled as he imagined Arabella staring at him from the audience. 

True, he could probably find her in an instant but he didn't want to ruin her life too until he finished the song he was writing for her, Arabella was something he hadn't touched in over a year but he looked forward to it.

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1) sorry my chapters are quick just like the story but it's a bit of a side project even though I love updating it but I try as quick as I can, we'll see how I do with school soon.