Oh my god this is the most awkward experiences of my life. Erin is such a freak of nature. She acts like 'Julie and Tom' best friend which is creepy in the first place. But Ryder's mom loves me and after her forth? I don't know glass of wine she started ranting about how on Erin and my 21st birthday she's going to bring over tons of alcoholic drinks and we're going to drink the night away.
The Bitch showed up with Ryder in the sluttest dress known to mankind. Erin looked ready to throw up or kick her out of the house but amazingly refrained due to her evil plan. I am honestly freaked out about that now. The dress was sleeveless and stopped just under The Bitch's butt well where her butt should be.
"So Erin I thought you hated me why'd you invite me over for dinner?" The Bitch said well if what she ate can be considered dinner more like a snack.
"I do hate you. You're only here because I need to prove a point" Erin replies calmly
"Oh my god you bitch!" The Bitch screams and stands up to storm out
"LAURAN SIT DOWN," Tom raises his voice. The Bitch sits down immediately. Ha sucks to be you. "Now you are not allowed to leave the table if people are still eating young lady and I should you have you wash your mouth out with soap for using that kind of language." Oh snap, Erin and I share a look of 'Ha glad I'm not her, go team Tom you are an awesome mofo, holy shit we're awesome. Talk about twin telepathy.
"Okay my point that I am going to prove is that I think Ryder and Reily should date. Now I'm not saying that they have to but I think they should." Erin says
"But Ryder and I are love each other very much and besides Ryder's not gay and two guys dating is wrong and gross" The Bitch says thinking she's won. She does make a good point though. I look at Erin and she is as smug as a cat that got the cream. Oh god Lauran said exactly what Erin wanted her to say.
"Well if you love Ryder so much why you were caught making out with what was that number oh right 7 different boys, by various teachers. Oh and why did have sex with that one guy Matt was it. How do I know this? People like to talk to me. Oh if Ryder's not gay then he's at least bi, I called Steve while the noodles where cooking. And two guys dating isn't gross it's hot. Stop looking at me like that I have too much time on my hands. Which is surprising, well not really I get paid to watch TV and movies all day." Erin says and then looks for more bread. My jaw drops along with everyone else's.
"You've cheated on me" Ryder asks looking like a kicked puppy.
"No babe I love you" the Bitch goes to kiss him but he pulls away.
"Bullshit" Liam says. Erin chokes on her non existing drink and looks at Liam.
"What I spend a lot of time around you, I've heard worse and I know when you're lying, sometimes, and you wouldn't lie to get your brother in a relationship that he clearly wants. Well yes you would but you wouldn't lie if you didn't have to."
"Julie and Tom, I would like to have your option on this before I do something I wouldn't regret" Erin says.
"Well I don't like Lauran never have never will,-" "We call her The Bitch" "-that fits I like it. Anywhore I think Ryder and Reily should date it would be so cute and I honestly thought they were already dating and The Bitch was just a cover up." Julie says. Dear god they are so alike it's creepy.
"I agree with Julie and Erin but it's really hard to agree with one and not the other I could swear they're twins sent from a different dimension" Tom says. Uh what?
"What is this? A little get together to make me feel bad because it's not working because I know that Ryder and I are gonna be together forever and we're gonna get married and have lots of sex-" cringe from everyone besides The Bitch "-and have kids and grow old together and live happily ever after"
"Good god Lauran do you have any shame" I say
"Ugh you are such a bitch" The Bitch says thinking she insulted me
"Your quite right there I am a bitch at least I admit it, and you waltz around acting like you're the shit when you're not you are a little shit." I reply casually
"Well at least I don't take it up the ass" pff yes she does
"Yes you do" Ryder intervenes stating my thoughts. Aww he looks like a confused puppy.
"Aww you look like a confused puppy" Erin says
"WHAT THE FUCK IS IT WITH YOU PEOPLE AND STATING MY THOUGHT WHAT ARE YOU MIND READING VAMPIRES. WAIT ARE YOU EDWARD?" I shout
"What? No it's just because I'm your twin we have the while twin telepathy thing going for us and because you and Ryder are soul mates and are destined to be together so your hearts beat at the same pace and your inner spirits are bonded for life when you complete the mating processes and they you have a special communication thingy so that way you can protect you mate"
"Jeez you read too much fan fiction" Liam says looking at Erin strangely
"So do you, bitch" Erin gives him a look
"Jerk" Liam shots back
"ASSBUTT" I shout, Erin and Liam beams at me
"Uh what the hell is that all about" The Bitch says
"They're quoting Supernatural" Ryder replies
"OH MY GOD I'M DATING A NERD MY IMAGE IS RUINED I HATE YOU HOW COULD YOU LIE TO ME I THOUGH TYOU WERE A JOCK THAT ONLY DID SPORTS" The Bitch screams at Ryder and storms out the door
"I wonder what she would do if she found out that your room that she thinks is your room is actually the guest room and your actual room is covered in DC comics, supernatural, marvel, Teen wolf, Harry Potter, and Doctor Who posters" Ryder's mom says
"YOU'RE IMMORTAL" Tom shouts
"Wait what?" Liam asks confused
"Oh sweetie it's okay in the Harry Potter movies and books and there's this thing called a horcrux and the main villain his name is Voldemort he splits his soul up into seven parts and he kind of becomes immortal but then you know he dies, the reason he spilt up is soul is to become immortal and he couldn't be killed unless if you destroyed all his horcruxes" Erin says and then pats him on the head and then flips her weirdly colored hair over her shoulder to imitate The Bitch. It gets a chuckle out of Ryder who was previously looking upset about The Bitch storming off.
"Ryder you're eating lunch with us, you have no question in the matter and if you don't I will drag you over to my table" Erin says as Ryder and his family start to leave. Oh sweet baby Jesus I'm going to die an ugly death. Please pray I go to heaven and meet Castiel. Hot damn wait what oh shit I'm going to hell, fuck.
YOU ARE READING
Blue Calculator (BOYXBOY) on hiatus
Novela JuvenilI would say this story is cliché but I would be lying, for the most part. This is just the way I live sorta but considering I have the weirdest friends well only one weird friend but she’s weird enough for everyone in my little group. This is the st...
