Daryl Dixon: A Beautiful Disaster (SEQUEL)

Chapter 23: Hungry and Tired

Daryl's P.O.V.

I feel her start to shake and I start to worry she is getting sick. I try to wrap my arms around her to make her warm but I hear her utter my name barely under her breath. I freeze, and listen to what she says "why? why are you doing this? please, don't go." She continues to mutter the same phrases over for another minute before she stops, and her shaking stops soon after as well. I think back to what she said to me the other day, how her night terrors are back and that I'm the reason for em. I haven't really thought about that till this very moment. How could I let any of this happen to her? Why did I let it happen? I should've just let her leave when she wanted too and went with her. Maybe then our relationship wouldn't be so broken. Hell, it's not like we ever were in a relationship but I used to feel we could be, if this world wasn't such a shit show. But she hasn't forgiven me yet for going off with Clint. Even though in time I think she'd get over that, I don't think she'd ever get over the fact that I let my father touch her, bruise her. Hell, I don't blame her, I won't forgive myself for that either. As I continue to sit and dwell in this misery I got myself into, she mutters my name again. Only this time when I glance down to see her, her eyes are opening "is it still raining?"

"No, it stopped about an hour ago. Smoke is pretty white too now, think the fire stopped spreading." I whisper back to her as she moves to sit up. Although I won't tell her, I wish she wouldn't move off of me just yet.

She looks around "well, thanks for letting me get some rest." She stands up and wipes the ground debris off of her "should we head back and see what happened?" She glances everyone but at me.

"I guess, I'll try and find us somethin' to eat, too." I say, figuring she must be as hungry as I am. We start walking back in the direction we came from and I end up spotting an owl sitting high up in one of the tree's after about 15 minutes of walking. I lift up my bow to go and shoot it but pause, turning to ask if she'd like to give it a shot "yew wanna shoot it?"

"Me?" She asks, probably wondering why I'd ask her to do that.

I shrug "you said you took archery lessons back in high school, yew know how to use this." I gesture to my bow in hand.

She smiles and shakes her head "it's been forever since I shot something like that. I'll for sure miss it and we'll go starving."

I walk over and place the bow in her hand "naw, you'll get it."

Shannon tries to keep the smirk off of her face and stare at me like she's annoyed but I can see right through it. I can see the excitement behind them as she adjusts where she is standing to get a look at the owl. After a few silent moments, she moves her feet a few steps and gets herself ready to shoot "how's this?" She asks me in a whisper.

"not bad, but here" I go over to adjust her arms and hips ever so slightly "there, let her fly" I take a few steps back to watch.

She takes a few breaths and lets the arrow go flying. Although I wish it hit the owl, it goes flying directly past it and the Owl gets scared off and flies off in the direction we just came from "aww, see. I told you I'd miss."

I laugh and respond "hell, that was really good for not shooting a bow in a while. I'm impressed."

"Shut up, now we're gonna starve some more." She spits with her annoyed tone, telling me she's not pleased with herself like I am.

I assure her "I'll find us something soon, don worry."

A mile later, I see a rabbit grazing on some grass that wasn't damaged by the fire. I look at her and lift up the bow with a questioning glare. She shakes her head so vigorously and mouths the words "you shoot."

I shrug and set up within moments before shooting the rabbit and killing it instantly. I take out my knife as I get closer to it and start skinning it right away, asking Shannon to try and find some dry twigs so we can start a fire. Although it takes some time, we get a  small fire going and I start to cook the rabbit meat for us to eat. "Thanks again for getting us some food, I'm starving." She says, seeing me turn the meat over one more time.

"Yeah, don mention it." I pick up one of the twigs it's cooking on up and pass it over to her. She starts to dig into it right away and I take a seat next to her, taking the other one off the stick and eating it like it's jerky. I ask her "so, after we kill Leroy and Clint, what do you think you gon do?" hoping she decides to stay with us in Alexandria.

"What do you mean?" She asks between a bite.

I shrug, not wanting to say out loud what I'm feeling "just wonderin' if yer gonna stay wit us, is all. I mean, once they are dead you can go anywhere, you don need to hide up no more."

She finishes chewing the bite in her mouth and I can tell she's thinking. She lowly answers me "I wasn't hiding in Alexandria. I was building a life again. You, and everyone there pulled me out of this shell I was hiding in. I don't want to go somewhere and have to start over." I don't answer her back, taking a big bite of the rabbit to hide my smirk. I must do a good job hiding it because she says "unless you want me to go."

"What? No." I quickly stammer out.

She smirks "okay, cool."

"Can I uhh, can I ask you something else?" I swallow the lump in my throat, wanting to ask her this question the same night I heard her talking to Spencer about it.

"Shoot" She returns, still eating.

I try and spit it out "well, uhh- did you and Spencer uhh, did you guys.. well"

She fills in the rest for me "did I sleep with Spencer? Is that what you're trying to ask."

I keep my eyes averted from her, feeling embarrassed now I was even going to ask so I just spit out "forget it, no."

"No, we didn't sleep together." She sighs and admits "but I'm really starting to wonder if holding on to my virginity is even worth it even more."

"What do ya mean?" I ask, not sure I get what she's saying.

She shrugs, putting the mostly empty stick of rabbit onto the ground "this whole thing is happening because I'm a virgin that your dad wants to deflower or whatever. So if I just sack up and have sex with someone, then maybe he'll just leave me alone and I can pretend all of this never happened."

"I guess" is all I can think to answer to her. I don't know why she's chosen to stay a virgin but I don't think she should have to sack up and sleep with some random guy to get Leroy off her back. Not like I'd let him live anyway and let him continue to do what he's doing to these women. But I do think she deserves someone special to take care of her and treat her right. Someone better then Spencer, someone better then Joey. Hell, someone better then me. "Leroy wouldn't care anymore about that anyway, he's gonna want you just to have you at this point."

"That's reassuring." She sarcastically mumbles back. She then throws out "what if you and I have sex? Would he still want me then?"

"What?" My face flushes red at the thought of sleeping with her. I try and push the thought out of my head and just blab out the answer "if you and I had sex, it would drive him mad."

Her lips form into a sort of sly grin and she says "then we should do it."

"What?" I spit out again, not sure I am believing what I am hearing.

"The only other thing I want to see more then Clint and Leroy dead is to see them miserable at the thought that they did all this for one thing and that one thing is gone forever. Bonus points if it drives him crazy because his son took it from me." She says all of this so casually like none of it is a big deal to her anymore.

I shake my head "no, no way."

"Oh, come on. Why not? It's kind of perfect. We'd both be able to get back at your dad for all the shit he put us through, the shit he put others through." She replies.

"Because I don't want to have sex with yew to get back at my dad. I want to have sex with yew because I love ya." I let it slip what I'm feeling in a loud harsh voice and instantly regret saying what I just said.