Saving Grace

20

I combed through every inch of that house before I could even bring myself to sit down. Even when I finally did so, it was with a kitchen knife and that keyring gripped firmly in my fist. At four a.m., the front swung open, and I damn near stabbed Grace in the throat.

"Fuck's sake!" She screamed. "What are you doing here? Why have you got a knife?"

I sucked in a breath, felt that adrenaline sink deep into my bloodstream.

"Richie," she said, sensing my mood. "What happened?"

***

"I can't believe it," she said, leaning back into the couch. Both of us stared at the black screen of her television, speechless.

"I know," I said. "It feels like a dream."

"More like a nightmare."

"Either way, you'll need to get better locks. And a new alarm system. Dani knocked mine off the table in her hurry and it shattered."

"Hang on," she said, shifting to face me. "Why were you even here? Why'd you stay?"

I lowered my eyes.

"I didn't want to leave because I wasn't sure you'd come home," I murmured. "The thought of him following you down some dark alley was just... too much. All the while you were safer out there than I was in here." I met her eyes. "I'm sorry."

I stared down at my hands again, laced in my lap as Grace fell deep into thought for a long moment.

"Can I tell you the truth, Richie?"

I looked into her eyes and saw all the fear and pain she kept buried there.

"Always."

"I can't stay home," she whispered, "because I start to think. I think about my life, my future, my past. I think about how much I've fucked up and everybody that I've lost. But I'm such a coward I can't even admit it to myself. I can't change anything. So I keep going. I drink and party and hook up because however self-destructive it all is, it still beats sitting around here and feeling all of that."

Her lovely eyes began to swell as every repressed emotion began to rise up.

"And everything was fine before this happened," she exclaimed. "Before Jack or whoever this guy is started doing this to me. But now I can't even run away. If I stay here, it kills me inside. If I go out, there's a good chance he'll kill me, or rape me or kidnap me or whatever it is he has in mind. There's no escape for me." A tear slipped down her cheek and she wiped it away. "I'm trying so hard to keep it together but all I can feel is everything falling apart."

My stomach knotted on those last words. Hers was the kind of pain that when witnessed caused a ripple effect and broke the hearts of everyone in the room. I grabbed her and pulled her in, clutched her against my chest. There was a sob – weak, childlike – as she trembled, and I felt her finally let herself go. All the pain that she'd kept buried came bursting to the surface and I could do nothing except hold her tightly, whisper comforts into her hair, and kiss her forehead.

"Please don't leave me," she cried.

"I won't," I murmured. "I swear."

© A.G. Travers 2018