Subconscious Feelings

(5) Therapy Appointment

"Hi I'm Dr Parks.." he said as they walked in. 

"Hi Dr Parks I'm Summer Dallas." she said 

"I'm Bucky Barnes." Bucky said 

"It's nice to meet you two..okay so this is going to be a long session cause I don't want to have to keep you two as patients cause there is nothing wrong with you two. But we have a lot to discuss." Dr Parks said 

"Okay" Summer said

He turned on the tv and said "This is the results of your sleep study." as he pressed play. 

They watched as they were playing with each other without the sound cause he muted it. "Okay you two now we are going to watch it again but with the sounds okay.. now that we know how you got pregnant Summer there is something else happening in your sleep." 

Bucky said "I I had no idea I was doing that." 

The sound was up and they heard as both of them were talking about how they loved each other. Summer gasped and Bucky's eyes went wide. 

"That's called subconscious feelings. It's what you are really feeling but you are to afraid to say anything so in your sub mind it comes out. In your guys case it's coming out while you are having wet dreams about the other one." Dr Parks said 

They both swallowed hard and he said "So let's start shall we.. I have spoken with your parents and they have both said the same thing that the two of you have not been in an actual relationship since high school. You two are what now about to be juniors in college.. they said that all you do is have multiple partners." 

They both looked down.

"Okay.. Ms Dallas when was the first time you had sex?' Dr Parks

"14" she said

"How did you lose your virginity?' Dr Parks said

"I um I lost it to my older brother's best friend he was 17 I was well endowed for a 14 year old he wanted to see my boobs and see if my hair color went all the way down." she said 

"Mr Barnes." Dr Parks said 

"14 as well." he said 

"And how?' Dr Parks said

"Um to my first girlfriend in a closet during the game 7 minutes in Heaven. I wanted to see her boobs one thing lead to another and because I didn't have a condom I made her suck me and she bit me as I got off in her mouth." Bucky said 

"Okay... so first times see pretty eerily similar." Dr Parks said as he wrote in his notes. 

"Now Ms Dallas your parents informed me that you gave up relationships at 17 care to explain." Dr Parks said 

She looked down and started to cry and said "Cause my first boyfriend and I were in a car accident coming home from a date. I was 7 weeks pregnant a drunk driver ran a red light and hit us with so much force that he died right in front of me and I miscarried cause the car flipped twice. I decided that I never want to feel that pain again so I just decided that I was no longer going to be involved again." 

Bucky closed his eyes and Dr Parks said "Mr Barnes you were 17 as well." 

"Um.. well I lost my first love and baby all in one swoop as well Dr Parks except I wasn't in the car she was driving to get me from football practice when a guy was to high to see his light had changed and was driving 90 mph and hit her and flipped her car and she was killed instantly she was 20 weeks pregnant we were engaged she was pregnant with my son. So I told myself and my parents that never again will I fall in love cause that pain and that guilt that I have for losing Maggie and Alexander is there. She needed the car for a doctor's appointment so I told her to go on and take it and she could just pick me up from practice." he said 

"So you two decided that at 17 years old that finding love again was not in the cards for you two. So you decided to screw around." Dr Parks said 

Summer looked down and wiped tears. 

Bucky wiped his tears and Dr Parks said "I know losing someone you love is tough. I know it had to be tough Summer fighting for your life but you have pick up the pieces and move on. This sleeptalking is your mind wanting to move on when was the last time you two slept with someone that wasn't each other." 

"A week before Christmas" Summer said 

"What happened after that?' Dr Parks said 

"We started sleeping next to each other" Bucky said 

"Okay.. so that certainly explains the need to not want anyone else. You all probably started doing this soon after you started sleeping next to each other." Dr Parks said 

"So I got her pregnant cause I was jerking off in her while I was sleeping." Bucky said 

"Yes.. now the question is do you know what night that could of been." Dr Parks said 

Bucky's eyes went wide and said "My birthday.." 

"Why do you say that?' Dr Parks.

"Because I woke up in her the next morning. She had gotten her shot that morning and I always make sure to use one when that happens if we have slept together." he said 

"Let the walls down guys and I think you might be surprised at what you might find. Deep down inside you want to but you are to scared to admit it cause of what happened. Don't be afraid guys." Dr Parks said 

Summer looked down. 

"Start slow go on a dinner date and talk to each other. Let each other in and see what lies behind the locked door of each other." Dr Parks said 

"Okay." Summer whispered. 

They left the office and sat in the truck in silence. 

"Summer I"m really sorry I didn't know I was doing that." he said

She wiped tears and said "You didn't know." 

He said "Scoot over here." 

She scooted to the middle seat and he cupped her cheek and he whispered " I can't promise you baby that it will be easy with me I lost her and my son I didn't want to be with anyone else cause she was who I loved from freshmen year till junior year she was my everything baby but I um I'm willing to try and if you are." 

A tear drop fell from her green eyes and she whispered "Bucky ... I never wanted to fall in love again. Samuel was my life he had just given me a promise ring and then he was gone. I I um willing to do this Bucky but I can't promise you that I'll be the best girlfriend." 

"Shh baby I understand god do I understand but I know this baby since being with you. The night mares I use to have go away when I sleep next to you." he whispered as he cried. 

"Believe me darlin mine have too."She whispered. 

He hadn't touched her stomach since she told him she was pregnant almost a week ago. He couldn't even act excited cause it was to much for him. He rested his forehead against hers and he was trying to calm himself down and he let go of her cheek and he gently placed his hand on her stomach after he lifted her shirt and he whispered "Baby I promise I will try my best for you and this baby." 

"Shhh you don't have to do this right now Bucky okay... look at me it's okay. I need you to calm down for me cause I can't drive a stick shift." she said 

"Okay.." he said 

She caressed his hair and she gently kissed his lips. He kissed her back and he whispered "I want to take you home and meet my parents." 

She smiled and said "Okay.."

"Next weekend." he said 

"Sounds good.." she said 

They were finally calm enough to head back to campus.