Prompts: How could you do this to me? To us? / Here, have this
Warnings: cheating, self hate
You wish you could hate him but you didn't, you loved him. You loved him so much, it hurt. Tears silently fell as you watched your little boy sleep. His light brown curls making him look more and more like his father each day. He was the one you wanted to hate with ever fibre in your body but you just couldn't.
When you fell pregnant two years ago you decided that you were leaving your acting career to focus on your family life. Tom's career was at its peek and the last thing you wanted was for him to give it up. After TJ was born you noticed something in Tom change. He was working more, talking less, drinking more, arguing with you more.
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"Where have you been?" you asked as you followed Tom through the house.
"I told you, out." he sighed as he walked up to the fridge.
You shook your head. "Where's out? I was getting worried about you."
Tom chuckled as he shut the door. "Good job I'm a big boy then, isn't it." you rolled your eyes at him. Tom frowned at you. "Don't do that."
"Whatever. Sorry for being a caring girlfriend. I won't bother next time." you pulled the baby cloth off your shoulder and went to place it on his when you noticed it. "Whats that?" you asked.
"What's, what?" he frowned taking the cloth from you.
You pulled his collar back to reveal more of the love bite. "That?" you poked it.
Tom frowned as he turned to look at his reflection in the glass door. His eyes widened. "It's... Off you, remember... Don't tell me that baby brain of yours is-"
"We haven't had sex in weeks, Tom." you cut him off. "Don't lie to me." you warned him. You'd known each other for long enough to know when the other wasn't being truthful and Tom's face was full of guilt. "You've slept someone else, haven't you?" tears stung your eyes.
Tom opened his mouth but quickly closed it, dropping his head. You shook your head closing your eyes as the tears began. You grabbed the baby cloth from him only to have him grab your wrist.
"I'm sorry, Y/N... I didn't mean for it to happen." Tom's voice broke as his own tears began to fall.
You shook your head. "I DON'T CARE!" you shouted.
"Please, Y/N. It was a stupid-"
"How could you do this to me? To us?" you cried.
Tom shook his head as he tried to hold you close to him. "I was feeling, lonely and like you didn't love me any more... I-"
"OH! So it's my fault? Well, I am sorry!" you pushed him back before running up to where your sleeping son was.
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That was the night was just over a year ago. You saw Tom once in a while when he came to pick TJ up or you'd text on the phone if there was any problems but that was it. You never spoke about anything other than your son and it was killing you.
You sniffled as you brushed your sons hair out of his sleeping face. "Hey..." Tom whispered from the doorway. You turned slightly to look at him before looking back to your son. Tom sighed, pushing himself off the door frame and walked over to where you stood over your son. "How's he feeling?" he asked, a soft smile filling his lips as he watched his beautiful son sleep.
You nodded slowly. "Sleeping, so that's good. Hopefully hell sleep it off." you sighed. TJ had been screaming all day because of teething and a bug. It broke your heart to see your little man in so much pain.
Tom was meant to take him for the weekend but you called him and said the Doctor had advised you to keep him at home. Not even an hour later and Tom was knocking on your door to help look after your son. Seeing Tom be so loving and caring broke your heart. Up until he slept with that other woman that night he'd always been the perfect man, your perfect man.
"You didn't have to come." you whispered.
Tom looked down at you. "Of course I did. He's my son too, Y/N." he smiled as he looked at his little boy. There was a moments silence between you as you both looked at the little boy. "I'm sorry I broke your heart, Y/N. I really am."
You shook your head. "Please, don't." you begged, a sob threatened to leave your mouth.
Tom shook his head. "I have to. I need to. I hate myself for what I did that night. What I did to you. What I did to us."
You felt the tears begin to fall. "Why? Why did you do it? If you weren't happy you should have told me."
"I thought you stopped loving me. You didn't look at me in the same way anymore. You wouldn't touch me or just random hug me from behind like you used to. Hell, you even stopped undressing in front of me. I thought you hated me for changing your life." he dropped his head as he began to cry too.
You shook your head. "You're a fool then, because I never stopped loving you. Never. I'm sorry I made you feel like that, Tom but I was feeling self conscious about myself. I had... Post-partum depression. Then I was worrying about you and your drinking, thinking you weren't happy with your life-" you covered your mouth as the tears burst, not wanting to wake TJ.
Tom quickly wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into his chest as his tears fell too. The two of you stayed like that for a while in silence. You knew you shouldn't forgive him but you had missed him so much and you couldn't deny you were still in love with him.
"Shh..." Tom held the back of your head as he placed a soft kiss on your forehead. "We never spoke like this, did we?" he whispered. You shook your head. He let out of soft chuckle as he pulled back. "Here, have this." he pulled out a handkerchief from his back pocket and handed it to you.
You began laughing as you took it from him. "You still have this?" you smiled as you wiped your face.
Tom nodded as he wiped his thumb over your cheek catching a fresh tear that fell. "Of course, you gave it to me." he smiled.
Years ago you had bought him the handkerchief as a joke birthday present saying he was the type of gentleman who should always have one to hand.
"Y/N, I know what I did was wrong, stupid... But, I've never been able to move on from you, you're my whole life. I don't expect you to forgive me or trust me right away but... Sweetheart, is there a chance we can, maybe, give us a go again. Be a family again?"
You looked into his eyes and saw the Tom you knew, the Tom who declared his love for you out on the street in the pouring rain after you locked him out after a pointless argument. The Tom before that stupid night. Your Tom.
You nodded slowly. "I've tried, so many times to hate you but I just can't. I love you and... You're right, it'll take time but... Yes, I want us to be a family again... Just, promise me-"
"Anything. Name it."
You smiled softly. "If we ever come across the whore you slept with that you'll tell me so I can kick her arse."
Tom began grinning and nodding before he wrapped his arms around you. You held onto him as tightly as you could. It was like the last year had just vanished. It would take a while but the trust would be back one day.
