The Bad Boy (Jack Gilinsky)

Chapter Forty Four

Life was just boring and depressing. There was no other way to describe it at the moment. I had hit a dead end and I had no motivation to do anything. I was so determined to come home and make up with Jack and make everything go back to the way they were, but it just wasn't happening. I don't know why I thought it would be so easy because it definitely wasn't. He was just like a brick wall to me, emotionless and cold. I felt like there was nothing I could do to fix him. It was always so easy to reconcile with him before. I think that was because back then no matter how angry he was with me there was always a piece of him that cared. But now he couldn't care less about me and I knew it.

As much as I was convinced there was no more I could do for us, I couldn't help but hold on to a little glimmer of hope just in case. But I really feel like this time I pushed him too far. Why was I always doing this? Not realising what I have until it's gone.

I was honestly beginning to miss boarding school. At least there I had real friends. I missed Courtney the most out of everyone. I missed having someone to talk to about things, mainly Jack. I couldn't tell any of the girls here anything. They only pretend they care so that they can find out what's going on from me. For the last few weeks I had been contemplating whether or not to call Courtney, but I wasn't sure if she would want to talk to me after my abrupt departure.

But one night it just got so bad, all I could think of was all the bad things in my life and I decided to call her. It rang at least 3 times before there was an answer. "Hello?" Courtneys' voice said through the phone. "Hey Courtney, it's me Kendall" I said hesitatingly, scared of her reaction. "Kendall! Oh my God I was starting to think you had fallen off the face of the earth or something" She said laughing. "Yeah sorry I hadn't called, I thought you would have been pissed with me for leaving so suddenly" I told her. "What? No of course not! Kendall I told you this would happen. I was prepared, I knew you were going to stay there. It's where you belong!" She said in a chirpy tone.

"Yeah..I'm not too sure about that anymore.." I mumbled back to her. "What? Did something happen with Jack?" She asked intrigued. "No that's the problem, he won't talk to me and when he does it just this outburst of pure hatred. I don't know what to do anymore Courtney" I said putting my face in my spare hand. "Maybe he just wants you to fight for him, like really fight for him" She suggested to me.

"I've tried that and he completely rejected me" I told her. "Mhmmm" She said perplexed. "Kendall, I really don't know what to tell you. All I know is that you and Jack are meant to be together. Just give it time, give him a little space, it will all sort itself out" She told me sweetly. Although I didn't agree with her, I trusted her opinion more than anyone elses, so I as just going to have to trust her. "Okay give me some good news now!" Courtney asked me. "Emmm..I don't know" I said shrugging to myself. "Oh come on, there must be something. What college did you get into in the end?" She asked. "Eh I got accepted into NYU and Brown" I told her. "What? Are you serious? That's amazing Kendall" She squealed. "Yeah I guess" I told her.

"So which one are you going to choose?" She asked me. "I don't know, probably neither" I told her. "What?" She asked me in utter shock. "Yeah, I don't know I just don't know if college is for me" I told her. She sighed on the other end of the line. "Kendall..stop this right now. You're feeling sorry for yourself. Don't let all this stuff with Jack ruin your future, you're too smart for that! Please don't do this to yourself because of him" She told me. "I'm not I'm just...I don't even know I just feel so useless" I told her. "Okay do me a favour and stop thinking about Jack for a few days and focus on your future okay?" She said. I sighed. "Okay, talk to you soon" I said before hanging up

School was borderline unbearable. It was only now I realized how consumed I was by Jack. Looking back he was my best friend and my boyfriend. We were always together and now that we were nothing. I had no one. Even Sam chose him over me. I would rather be alone though than be around Maggie and the girls. They were just the personification of a headache.

"I have to go" I said sprinting away from them as they stood by the lockers talking a bunch of mindless bullshit. "Shit sorry" I said as I shouldered someone accidentally. I looked up to see Jack glaring at me. He rolled his eyes. "Watch where you're going, idiot" He spat before walking away in the opposite direction.

He hurt me, not physically, but mentally. Every day more that he was like this to me, it was killing me from the inside out.

I'm going to be ending this soon. I'm not sure how many more chapters there will be, probably 5 at the most. I'm really sad to end this but it needs to end soon and I have the perfect ending planned for it! Thanks for 700k reads!