The Witch's Toy ✔

33: orias, the last demon

Would it be cliche if I said everything after that felt more like a blur than anything else? It always sounded stupid when I read that phrase in books and heard people say it.

"It felt like a blur."

I guess back then, I just didn't understand what it meant. Nothing "felt like a blur" to me. I was always so serious, going through each day meticulously, wasting not one second on anything. There was no chance for me to spend some time actually doing something other than studying, cleaning the apartment, or running general errands. And I didn't even have any friends to hang out with anyway, so it made no difference.

When I thought about it now, I didn't understand how someone could change so much. How could I go from someone who thrived in the presence of everyone to someone who completely shut herself from the world... and accepted the fact that everyone else also didn't want to be with me? Back then, I would've felt hurt, but maybe over time, that pain turned to a numbness that told me it was okay. Even though it wasn't.

So I was glad that I could finally break out of my disillusioned state, realize that living the way I was living wasn't good enough.

And now, lying here in bed, Raphael curled up beside me as I stared up at my ceiling, I think I could say that this is a good development. A good transition away from my previous self. Little by little, I had been finding myself, but this was the first official step. Actually being okay with taking a break sometimes.

My grandmother wasn't surprised when I came back unscathed. She told me she wasn't even worried for a second and had to tell my mother to calm down when they found my note. For her to have so much confidence in me was odd in a way. I was used to doubting my own abilities, but having someone else tell me they knew I'd be able to handle everything was reassuring.

I glanced to the side, looking down at Raphael's sleeping face. It was squished against my shoulder and his arm was tucked around me like he was afraid I might leave or something. Which I wasn't about to do anyway since he was so drained of energy — especially after transporting us back home even after I told him we could catch the train.

The corner of my lip curled up. Stupid. Making decisions for yourself when you know it's not the wisest. Who cares about convenience when your health matters more?

"You're thinking bad things about me again," he muttered suddenly, opening his eyes just a little so I could see the crimson color peeking from behind his hair. "Don't you think you should be kinder to me, darling?"

I narrowed my eyes. "This is the kindest I've been to someone in nearly ten years."

"Mm... does that make me special, then?"

"You can think whatever you want." Grabbing my phone off the nightstand, I went through my calendar, taking note of all the things I may have missed. Including today, that would be two days of school that I had to catch up on. And... My finger froze, hovering over my screen. I almost dropped my phone on my face when the realization hit me.

I had to help do preparations for the coming holiday party coming up. And I only had one week until the actual event.

A thousand curses erupted in my mind as I slammed my phone back down onto the nightstand, then attempted to pry Raphael away from me. "I'm sorry — I have to stop by my school."

"Why?~" He shifted to his side, head nuzzling into my neck. "You promised you'd stay for the entire day, darling."

"I have work to do," I ground out, pushing at his arm. "And clearly, you have enough energy already, so you don't need me."