A lot of men don't know how to figure out why their women are confused, frustrated or sad even when they're financially providing for them, paying for their expenses and keeping them safe. This is my quick guide for you to understand your wife. First—she doesn't want solutions. Men listen to solve—and that goes back to unclear metrics and use of problem-solving skills—but in the wrong areas. Milk is good for your stomach, not for your car's fuel tank. Similarly, problem-solving skills shouldn't be used in areas where they—at that very time—aren't necessary. When a woman speaks to you, she wants you to listen to her thoughts, feelings and emotions—she wants you to give her your undivided attention—to listen to understand, sympathize and know what she's going through, and not to solve or tell her what to do—as there is a way to teach and solve—another time. Convince her that you understand what she's going through and that you're with her—and make her feel safe—emotionally. After this, focus deeply on analyzing if you're giving her focused quality time where you listen to her, attentively understand what she's saying and that you talk on a deep and considerate level without being distracted and having your attention elsewhere. Women usually mistake those distractions as if they're not important to you. Your wife's emotional dialect needs study—and you need to see what makes her happy, satisfied, sad, frustrated and confused. If you can't give her your full attention, tell her that you need to get done with this project first and in half an hour you will be there to listen to her with love, attention and to spend quality time loving and understanding her. Women would respect that. Give her quality time. Unfortunately a lot of men are clueless of emotional and psychological dialects and limit their understanding—to only focus on security. Yes, security is crucially important—but that is not all. A relationship isn't all about security; it is also about understanding, love, consideration, patience, consistency, mercy and generosity. Your wife's heart would find solace once she acknowledges that you truly understand what she's going through to sympathize and feel what she's feeling. That's the main reason why women usually share their day. Not for solutions, but to be understood on a deeper level. Yes, problem-solving and leadership skills are masculine core but there is a right way to go about them. So you need to consciously understand a woman's psychology, emotions, reactions and the way she feels is quite so very different from you as a man. She needs consideration, your full, undivided attention and acknowledgement. She will bloom when she sees you admire her efforts and that you see, understand and resonate with her on deeper—psychological and emotional—levels so she knows she has a partner and someone who is "there" for her—not simply "with" her. Another reason why women usually say things like "you never talk to me" or "listen to me" when you do talk and listen to her—in a woman's dialect—means that you don't listen to understand and sympathize, and you don't speak to connect, bond, resonate and relate. When you see it was all along you—as a man—who wasn't understanding what she really wants, you will be able to connect with her, give her what she wants and help nourish her to bloom and become one of the happiest women ever. Practice giving your woman your focused and undivided attention, and practice what I have taught you here—and you will see within two weeks how beautifully it upgrades and fixes the "something missing" in your relationship with her.
-Talha Azam (@talha_azam_)
