harlequin. || bughead oneshots (BOOK 1)✓

|Dumb Blonde|

Inspired by Dolly Parton's song of the
same name

Dumb Blonde

" just cause' i'm blonde don't mean i'm dumb cause' this dumb blonde ain't nobody's fool "
Hummed through Betty's car, she was crying again after her and Archie's newest fight.

It was normal of him to insult her for being naive. Even if he was naive enough to never realize Betty's feelings for his best friend.
Archie treated her bad, she didn't mean to cheat on him but Jughead seemed to be the only one who cared for her.

"But if there's one thing this blonde has learned" Betty sang, a smile starting to creep on her face. "Blondes have more fun" as she sang out that line a knock was heard on her window making her jump.

"Heya Jolene, open up would you?" Jughead joked, opening the door for himself and sitting in her cars passengers seat.

"Wrong song, Juggie. Thought I taught you better than that" Betty teased, sticking her tongue out.

Jughead shrugged, "yeah well kinda hard to hear it clearly when I'm all worried about you"

Betty blushed and stuffed her head into his shoulder, "sorry" she squeaked out.

"Told Archie about us yet Betts?" He whispered, kissing the top of her head.

"no.." she sighed, she was planning to but him getting pissed off after losing today's game didn't exactly put him in the best mood.
So they fought again, as usual.

Jughead chuckled, "it's alright. But do it soon Betty, I need to be able to be yours already."

Betty smiled, kissing his cheek. "Well, I'm 99% sure I'm the only person you've ever kissed so..." Betty teased, giggling.

"You...little.." Jughead whispered threatingly, before picking her up and placing her in his lap, kissing her roughly.

"You saying I'm inexperienced?" He teased, kissing Betty's jaw.

"Jug—" Betty started before her dirty thoughts got caught off by her phones annoying ringtone. "Let me take this." Betty whispered to him sweetly, unlocking her phone and seeing who was calling her.

"It's Archie." Betty spoke, about to hang up and jump on Jughead again until he caught her wrist.

"Uh-uh this is what happens when you don't tell your boyfriend who you're really in love with" Jughead scolded, smirking.

Betty pouted, "you asshole." She muttered before pressing answer and sighing.

"Hello?" She spoke, with a fake-cheeriness.
Jughead snickered, wrapping his arms around Betty's waist.

"Your a dumbass Betty, you were fucking supposed to meet me at Pop's for celebration remember? Or what you think I'm a fucking failure now?" Archie insulted, making Betty gulp. She was always so scared of him, she hated herself for it.

Jughead could overhear her whole conversation and growled, making Betty jolt in his grasp. "Sorry Betty, didn't mean to scare you sweetheart"  Jughead whispered quietly, when he realized he'd scared her.

Just then, Archie's voice came back on Betty's speaker.

"Betty? Fucking answer already. Betty!"

Betty nodded at Jughead's apology, while panic settled on her face from Archie's rude tone. Jughead snatched the phone from her angrily and put on the most fakest voice he could.

"Hey Arch it's Jug, Betty's hanging out at my place. Sorry man." He spoke, comforting Betty by placing soft kisses on her shoulder and tracing circles her arm with his fingers.

"Jug? What are you doing hanging out with just Betts? Tryna sleep with her or something?" Archie genuinely asked, no noticeable anger.

A confused expression took over Betty's face and Jughead felt hot rage seeping in his veins.

"W-What do you mean? No man." He said, calmly and carefully trying not to blow.

"No it's okay man, I get it. Been trying to get Betty off my hands for a while she's always so boring now it's pissing me off sometimes. I mean, pretty sure if I left her she'd be all y'know like a helpless dumb blonde" Archie paused to laugh at his own cruel joke while Jughead feels his anger catching up in his throat.

"So yeah anyways. Sleep with her, have some fun with her before she's all alone and helpless-" Archie was cut off by Jughead's rage bursting through his words.

"Shut the fuck up Archie, alright? You have no fucking idea how much Betty is worth. We've been together for months so maybe your the fucking dumb one, huh? I don't even care about our friendship anymore and didn't care even when me and Betty first started. Stay the hell away from me and Betty at school alright?
I'm going to be so fucking good to her every day and every night unlike you, so just stay out of my way Archibald." Jughead ranted/yelled before hanging up. Literal steam coming from his ears.

"Juggie.." Betty gulped, wincing when he turned his harsh expression towards her.

Jughead's face softened as he leaned in to kiss her softly, "didn't mean to scare you, I just love you so much and can't stand how he treats you okay?"

Betty weakly smiled at Jughead, happy tears building up in her eyes. "Okay." She choked, wrapping her arms around his neck.

Betty turned around and leaned back into his arms, resting her head on his chest.

"Turn Dolly up, won't you Juggie?"