The Tragedy of Roman and Virgil

Hangover

Virgil's POV:

I shoot right up in bed to having a massive headache. "Ow," I groan, closing my eyes and covering my face with my hands. What the fuck happened? What did I do now? Then all of the memories of me being drunk hit me...but the biggest memory is how it made me feel. I want to feel like that again! To have no anxiety, to be free and feel as if floating in midair. But then Roman will get worried and I don't want to worry him even more. But I also don't want to be so anxious anymore.

"Good morning, my love~"

I jump at the sound of Roman's voice and look over at him. I scratch the back of my neck and smile sheepishly. "Good morning, Princey." Then my headache returns and I wince at the pain.

"Here." Roman hands me a glass of water and an aspirin. "Take this."

I smile and take the pill, handing Roman the glass of water so he can put it on my nightstand. "You're the best boyfriend ever."

Roman hugs me. "Nope. You are."

I roll my eyes. "I'm not getting too mushy now."

"Whyyyyy noooooottttttt???"

"Cause I'm not romantic and whiny like you."

He frowns. "I'm not whiny!"

I raise my eyebrow. "Ya sure about that?"

"No."

"Exactly."

Roman laughs and then frowns as I wince in pain again. "Are you okay?"

"No. My head hurts."

"Maybe you should lay down for a bit."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm positive! Now lay down and go to sleep. When you wake up, you'll feel better."

"Okay."

I lay back down and close my eyes, dozing off into sleep.

Roman's POV:

I look down at Virgil sleeping in my arms. He looks so calm, so relaxed. I wonder if he has relaxing dreams. That would be great if he did! My baby needs to relax sometimes.
He's always worrying about everyone and everything and it causes him so many panic attacks. I don't like seeing him in pain. It breaks my heart every time. I wish I could give him all of my egotistical traits and thoughts for just one day. For a week, for a month, for a year! I really want him to experience being happy carefree, but I don't want him to do it by getting drunk everyday. He could turn into an alcoholic and that's not good. I want him to be happy but not by any dangerous means. Convincing him that's he's an amazing person never works because no matter what you say, he thinks that you're lying or doesn't believe you because of his deceiving mind. If depression was a real person, I would kill them. I would do whatever it takes to bring them down so I can bring everyone that has depression up. The world should be rid of sadness and despair. It shouldn't have to withhold any pain. No one should have to feel any pain. But life isn't always fair.

I open Virgil's nightstand draw and pick up his song and poem notebook. I don't know if he would be okay with me reading in it, but when he 'died', I was too afraid to read it. Too afraid that it would be too painful. But now since he's here, I feel like I can read it without crying.

I open up the book and flip through the pages, finding that they're before we started dating. I stop at one called "Love". By the date, it was a month before we started to date. I start to whisper it to myself so I don't wake Virgil.

"Something is missing
Nothing is blissing
But I keep on wishing
To be kissing
Someone someday
So everything will be okay

I want a love like Morticia and Gomez
I want a love like Jackie and Fez
I want a love like Romeo and Juliet
But my life isn't there yet
So I'll take what I can get

Something is wrong
Nothing is strong
But I want a new dawn
To be upon
Somehow, some way
Everything will end up okay

I want a love like Morticia and Gomez
I want a love like Jackie and Fez
I want a love like Romeo and Juliet
But my life isn't there yet
So I'll take what I can get

Have you ever tasted true love's lips?
Have you ever danced with your hands on their hips?
Show me, show me, show me what love is like
Show me, show me, show me the love and the light
I can't find the love within the world
All I see are broken hearts of boys and girls
Everything is shattered, shattered
We're all beaten and battered, battered
Everything is shattered, shattered
We're all beaten and battered, battered

I want a love like Morticia and Gomez
I want a love like Jackie and Fez
I want a love like Romeo and Juliet
But my life isn't there yet
So I'll take what I can get

Give me a love like Morticia and Gomez
Give me a love like Jackie and Fez
Give me a love like Romeo and Juliet
But my life isn't there yet
So I'll take what I can get

My heart is shattered, shattered
I'm all beaten and battered, battered
My heart is shattered, shattered
I'm all beaten and battered, battered"

How depressed was he truly before we started dating? I wish I could go back in time and see life through his eyes. But the only way for me to do that is to read the things he writes. They're so emotional and personal. But they also sadden me. I don't understand how someone so wonderful could hate himself so much. So I'll keep on reading until I find out the answer. This song is called "Better Off Dead." That concerns me.

"I saw so many colors and I thought I was happy, but it was only a seizure
I saw so much light and I thought I was dead, but it was only a surgical procedure
Hey Doctor, Doctor, rip out, rip out, my shattered heart
Hey depression, depression, make me, make me, fall completely apart
Even though your cruel ways are a true work of art

I'm better off dead and shred
(I'm better off, I'm better off dead)
I'm better off shred and dead
(I'm better off, I'm better off shred)
How much more can I take my head?
How much more can I only see red?
I'm better off, I'm better off shred
I'm better off, I'm better off dead

I heard so many angels and I thought I was happy, but it was only a hallucination
I heard so many cheers and I thought I was loved, but it was only some accusations
Hey mister, mister, rip out, rip out, my deceiving eyes
Hey schizophrenia, schizophrenia, make me, make me, fucking die
Even though your cruel ideas are always worth a try

I'm better off dead and shred
(I'm better off, I'm better off dead)
I'm better off shred and dead
(I'm better off, I'm better off shred)
How much more can I take my head?
How much more can I only see red?
I'm better off, I'm better off shred
I'm better off, I'm better off dead

Nothing every comes to me for free
I always have to work my ass off to get what I want
But then it's all taken away from me
The laughs, the pointing fingers, always come back to haunt
I feel like I'm living in a cemetery
Within the mist of the decaying bodies
Someone come, someone come, someone come and please save me
For I don't know how much more I can swim

Save me (save me)
Save me (save me)
Save me (save me)
Save me (save me)
Come and save me
Come and fucking save me

You said that I'm not better off dead and shred
(You said that I'm not better off, better off dead)
You said that I'm not better off shred and dead
(You said that I'm not better off, better off shred)
But how much more can I take my head?
How much more can I only see red?
I still think that I'm better off, better off shred
I'm better off, I'm better off dead
No matter what you've said"

I don't know how I feel right now. I know that he's depressed, so this shouldn't come as a shock to me, but it does. I guess I just don't understand how someone so grand can want to die. Sometimes I feel like smothering him with kisses and hugs to make him happy, but I know that he's not truly happy. He may smile and all, but he still has depression. He is right. Eyes can be deceiving.