««Sans x Ketchup»»

An Epic Loss and an Epic Journey

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Sans was drunk.

Very drunk.

Again.

When Papyrus walked into Grillby's to pick up Sans only to find Sans standing on the counter, singing some sort of song very very loudly, all he could do was groan and mutter, "NOT AGAIN..."

Papyrus managed to get Sans off the counter and back home. Upon the table in the entryway, Sans spotted Ketchup. He wrenched himself out of Papyrus' grasp and ran to Ketchup. "HonEy~!" he slurred, wrapping an arm around Ketchup. "your cUtE!"

Upon hearing Sans talk to the inanimate ketchup bottle again, Papyrus sighed and went to his room.

"My cute?" Ketchup replied sassily, as she was annoyed that Sans was drunk yet again. "My cute what?"

Sans frowned. Well, not externally, because of his permanent smile and all, but internally. Anywho, Sans frowned at Ketchup's rude remark. "y'kNOw wHat? eff YoU." He threw Ketchup across the room.

Ketchup landed in the trash can with a cry of pain. "A-Ah! S-Sans!" Sans advanced ominously towards her. "D-Don't hurt me! That's why I hate it when you're drunk like this! You-You hurt me!"

Sans lifted Ketchup out of the trash can with two fingers, stumbling a bit with his drunkenness.

"P-Please, no more of this Sans... Honey... Sweetie... No more... I-I can't take it anymore!" Ketchup started trembling, smelling the alcohol on Sans' breath.

Sans was towering dangerously over Ketchup. "sHut uP!" Sans yeeted Ketchup away from him, who landed against the tall sink, falling to the ground with a thud. Now bruised and sore, Ketchup got up.

She looked at Sans square in the eyes. "I can't take this anymore. Sans, I'm leaving you. We are no longer a thing. I hate you."

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The next morning, Sans woke up in a hangover. He groggily tried to remember the events of the night before. Then, he remembered.

"oh noo..." he groaned. "i've really screwed up this time..."

However, Sans was determined to get Ketchup back. He just had to. He had a plan. A plan with a 89.67% chance of failure, but nevertheless, a good plan.

He sprang out of bed and decided to take a shower. That was step one of phase one of The Plan.

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...stop thinking about Sans taking a shower you dirty sinners.

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Anywho, since Sans and Papyrus didn't have a shower (or bathroom, in that matter), they had a very unique way of taking a shower. Sans had woken up before Papyrus, so he had all the time he needed to take his.

First, he teleported outside to grab some snow. He then teleported to their kitchen and stuck the snow in the oven. When the timer beeped, Sans knew that a ton of warm water was waiting for him. So he stripped and opened the oven door and let the water flood all over him. He dried himself off with the dog that was trying to steal Papyrus' bones and polished his bones. This step was crucial to The Plan. Sans knew he had to look extra-spiffy if he wanted to win Ketchup back.