-Gerard-
I sat on the couch, the air around me is cold. I feel so alone when Frank isn't here.
He's with the therapist his girlfriend Jamia set up for him, again. This is the third time she's done this. They have one small argument and she thinks he needs professional help; but recently Frank had been acting weird, so I guess I'm on board with her on this one, just for different reasons.
Frank and Jamia started dating when they were sixteen, so it's been three years. They've only recently been arguing though, thats what I mean by Frank acting different.
My mind came to a sudden holt as I heard the front door slam.
"Frank?" I shouted as gently as I could.
No answer.
All I could hear was loud footsteps being made up the staircase.
I huffed as I stood up cautiously. When I made my way up the stairs I heard quiet sobs. My heart pouded hard against my chest, tears started forming in my eyes; I pushed them back, no, I have to be strong.
"For Frank" I whispered under my breath.
I slowly opened the door.
"Frank, I think it's time we talk" I say crouching next to Frank so I can look at him.
He grabbed me, gently wrapping his arms around me.
"Gerard.." Frank cries into my chest.
"Yes?" We are staring into each others eyes now.
"I-I.. I really like you" Frank says.
I stood up in panic.
"What?! Bu-but what about Jamia? What!" I said loudly, tears falling.
"Gerard I fucking love you, and I know you love me back. I've loved you since I was fourteen." He looked up at me and said
"God damn it Gerard, I'm not okay" as our lips crashed together.
"Why didn't you tell me earlier?" I said whilst trying to stop crying.
"My dad..." Frank mumbled.
Bad memories flashed through my head, Frank's father forbidding him to be friends with me because I like guys, but he doesn't know Frank lives with me.
"He doesn't need to though, right? We could be together" My eyes lit up at the thought.
"Gerard, no I-"
"But we can move away together or adopt kids; Frank you're all I have, you're all I want" I gently stroked the side of his face.
"Gerard I'm engaged to Jamia" he spoke quietly and looked down.
My heart broke into a million pieces, as my knees crashed to ground and more tears flooded my face.
"I'm sorry, I love you but we can't be together; My dad would kill me. I'm moving in with Jamia and her mom untill we find a place. I'll get my stuff tomorrow. I'm sorry." Frank said as he left the house.
-ONE MONTH TIMELAPSE-
It's the day of the wedding; and it's also the day I end my life, so I start to write a letter.
•
'Frank,
I'm sorry, but deep in the cell of my heart I felt so glad to go.'
I chuckle to myself as I quote The Smiths
'Frank you were the only reason I wanted to be alive and I don't want to be here without you, dont be sad, it's really not your fault, but at least I'm happy.
I love you,
Gerard'
•
I stand looking at the rope that hangs before me.
This was it,
Goodbye
-Frank-
I stand in front of the door, behind it lay a lot of memories. I really want Gerard to come to the wedding. I still want him to be apart of my life.
Then I open the door. My hands shaking with sweaty palms,
"Gerard!?"
I enter his room, collapsing to the floor as I can't believe what my eyes are laying upon.
"No no NO! Gerard no" I say, my voice cracking.
I stand up crying my body is week. I pull him down from the rope and place him on the bed, putting his light head on the pillow, feeling something underneath.
"A gun?" I say out loud while placing it in my lap and seeing the note.
" I love you too, Gerard" I said quietly while placing the note down and stroking his pale face.
I laid down next to him and I kissed his cold lips.
I grab the gun and put it to my head.
"I love you too"
And everything goes black
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okay thanks to my lovely friend shannon for making me cry i hate u
okay bye
xoashleigh
