Unforgettable ** ended**

Chapter three

my heart drops.
my eyes widen.
my legs start trembling.
my palms are getting sweaty.
im losing grip on ella.
my whole world is turning.

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" u-ugh uhm ugh." i stutter not knowing what to say to the two people that practically raised me for three years.
" oh gosh honey. you've grown so much. how are you doing. we've missed you around here." Mrs. Wilkinson exclaims.
" yeah well I am four years older now. im doing okay. thanks for asking." I mumble quietly. i totally ignore her last statement about them missing me.
I cannot even process the thought of being back here.
My gaze switches back and forth between my mother and Mr and Mrs. Wilkinson.
" ugh uhm. I'm gonna go bring this upstairs." I announce while pointing to the diaper bag.
" oh honey. come along ill show you Ella's room."
I follow Mrs. Wilkinson up the long circler staircase.
" well here is your room. and here is Ella's." she's announces with gesturing to two rooms.
I walk into Ella's room and set her down on the floor.
I remember this room. it's used to be Sammy's gaming room. Nothing has changed in this house. Nothing at all.

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" okay. thanks again for letting, you know, uhm us stay h-here."I stutter.
" yeah no problem honey. it's nice to have you back. How has everything been lately?"
I look down at Ella's and bite my lip.
" hard. really really hard." I mumble not making eye contact.
" don't worry sweetie." She says while rubbing my back.
I slowly avert my eyes from the floor and make eye contact with her.
" thanks."
" for what sweetie? you already said that."
" no not for this." I say while opening up my arms and gesturing to the room.
" for everything over the years."
" oh, honey look. I know it's been difficult on you. I know you raise Ella without yours moms help. i know you've gone through some rough times with your dad, with your mother, with us and sammy, but know that I'll always care."
I force a smile onto my face to hide the sadness.
She walks slowly down the stairs.
" I can't stay here. I can't Handel these memories!" I say loudly in my head.
I pick up Ella and run down the stairs.
" im going our for a bit. I don't.. I mean I can't stay here. I'm just gonna go to the pond across the street and get our for a bit." I say in all one breath.
I turn my attention away from them and push the door open.
" take Ella!" My mom screams.
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for fuck sakes. Can that woman ever take care of her own kid! She's not my kid! She's hers!
✿
I stop in the middle of the doorway. I swing around and glare at my mom. I am debating on wether or not I should fight back with my mother. I was about to turn around and let it go but All of a sudden I snap..
" she's your fucking kid mother! Not mine! I'm fucking seventeen I shouldn't be dealing with your shit that you bring on me. Take some fucking responsibility for a change and raise your one year old daughter. I shouldn't be raising her! You were to fucking stupid to get pregnant in the first place with the guys that beat you everyday! If the reason why your not looking After her is because you were abused well open up your fucking eyes mother because I got abused too! " I scream.
Everyones gaze averts over to me. There eyes scream in shock. I look around at everyone full of anger and sadness. I turn around and see Sammy standing in the door way.
I roll my eyes and push past him. I run down the four steep stairs and run off.
" jenna." I hear in the distance. I'm too far away to comprehend who's even calling me back.

✿

how did my life turn out like this?
why did i get abused?
why can't i be happy?
why can't I live a normal life?
why am i back in Omaha?
actually..
why am I even still alive?
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i am sitting on the grass that faces the sparkling shallow pond. i don't even know what to do anymore. my life sucks. but I should be used to it by now. but the problem is I keep on thinking of these scenarios in my head about how one day all the broken pieces in my life will magically all come together.
✿
i am still sitting on the itchy newly cut grass. I am aimlessly playing around with the grass that stands in front of me.
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I hear someone creeping up behind me. I keep my gaze on the scenery in front of me. I don't even try to advert my eyes from the pond.

✿
I start to get impatient and curious so I slightly turn my head to the right and see Sammy plant himself down right beside me, rather closely actually..
" hey." i say quietly while I look down and the mud in the grass.
" hi"
"sorry about what happened in there. it's just hard."
"no, don't worry. you alright?"
" what do you think?" i snap back.

I'm not even going to try to be a little bit nice because if I tried being nice, I would just be putting on a show.
" I was just asking." He says snappily.
" do you want to be alone?" Sammy asks non-chalontly.
i shrug my shoulder because if I spoke he would be able to hear the sadness and guilt in my shaky voice.
✿
" you know, you're really good with Ella." he says changing the subject quickly.
" thanks. People always think she's my daughter. like you did, because you know, you think I'm a slut." I say cautiously not knowing his response.
" i was kidding. I said that because I was trying to make an awkward situation less awkward."
" so by calling me a slut you thought that would make it less awkward?"
He shakes his head.
" im going to go. I don't want to talk."
" Jesus Jenna. Are you ever gonna want to talk to me? We need to talk about this at some point"
" what do we need to talk about Sammy? What? About how I left randomly? Do you not fucking realize I regret every minute of that? I fucked up Sammy!"
" you know Jenna, You haven't changed and you never will fucking change. Your always going to be the girl that never forgets about the past."
" how am I suppose to forget about the pass Sammy? How? I got abused and abused and abused.
When I lost you Sammy I had no one! I didn't have anyone to turn to! I turned into a girl that I never want to turn into again! I got into really bad fucking habits Sammy."
As soon as I say that I take all the words back. why did I tell Sammy that?
" what the fuck jenna! You left me! When you left me I was lost! I loved you jenna.."
" I loved you too Sammy. But that was the past. And I'm sorry that I left but it was in the moment. don't worry, I know I'm a fuck up." I say while gripping my top hair tightly.
" i really missed you"
i don't respond. i look into Sammy's sparkling hazel eyes. I bite my lip and close my eyes to hold back the tears that are forming in my eyes. I'm scared to admit to Sammy that I miss him. I'm scared that it's going to go back to the way it was three years ago but then I'll screw everything up. I really want to admit to sammy that I miss him. I can't. I really really can't.
✿
My body becomes numb. My legs and hands start to tremble.
The only sentence that I can squeeze out of my mouth is
" I-I c-can't."
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My heart beat picks up and i can see my pulse through my finger tips.
I look up at Sammy and stare at him.
He clenches his jaw together and you can see anger, but a little bit of sadness in his eyes.
" know what jenna? I thought I loved you four years ago. But now that I look back I realize I was just trying to help a small little girl who was fucked up. And maybe you still are fucked up. I don't know. Don't fucking blame this on your parents jenna. You had chances to change your life around,
But like always you never fucking took up the offer that could change your life. You have so much potential Jenna but your blowing it all away. You're never going to change. Never."
✿
My heart starts racing. I am trying to hold back my tears with all my mighty.
I can't hold it in any longer.
Tears steam down my face, faster and faster. My vision becomes blurry. I can't even comprehend what he just said to me. He's he being honest?
All those times he told me he loved me, was it all just a lie?

I break.

It feels like I'm a glass picture frame holding all these memories back. And throughout those years, the glass broke here and there but the memories stayed. But now. everything is gone. It was already broke but now It just shattered into a thousand more pieces.

The good.
The bad.
The quiet.
The loud.
The funny.
The sad.
The non predictable.
The predictable,
Memories
are
all
gone.

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ayee guys:)) here's another chapter:)) I have a lot of plans for this story!! Thank you all for reading:)) don't forget to comment and vote:)) love you guys:)

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