Unforgettable ** ended**

Chapter four

\\ I love you, Jenna.
I love you too, Sammy//
♡
We're all those times he told me he loved me, just a lie?
Did he really physically mean it?
Am I really that fucked up?
Am I really that bad of a person?

I'm not sure why I'm letting what Sammy said to me get me. It's not like I love him anymore. I haven't spoken or for that fact seen him in four years. But the thing is as soon and I saw him again, my whole world went crashing. Memories rushed back, the good and the bad, the funny and the sad. But all I know right now is that it's never going to go back to they way it was four years ago. We're not right for eachother. He's Sammy and Im just jenna I guess.

What he said to me made me break into a thousand more pieces. It's like he knew I was a piece of glass ready to shatter so he just threw me off a edge and let me shatter. What he said to me isn't why I'm so bipolar about this situation, I'm just stunned I guess about this whole thing because our past and what we had. He used to be the only person I loved and the only person I would want to ever be around. But now, I can't stand being with him.
I really cannot comprehend why I'm so hurt and stunned though, because I don't love him or for that fact like him as a person. Just to hear the words " I never loved you" slip out of him mouth mental and physically killed me. I need to stop letting these little things get to my head. I need to start living my life.

I'm seventeen.

I need this last year of being a teenager to be the most memorable year. By memorable I don't mean the kind of memories that made my world come crashing down. I want memories that will always be playing in my mind on repeat and repeat because I don't ever want to let them go.

I'm single. I need to let myself loose and not worry about what life has to offer. Sammy was the first and last boyfriend I had. I need to loosen up and say " fuck you" to everyone that made my life and many other life's miserable.
But yet again, i go back and replay what Sammy said to me and it doesn't motivate me all. If he doesn't love me, who will?

nobody

♡
It's now ten o'clock at night. The moonlight is shining through the big rectangular window. I am laying on the bed, lifeless staring at the outdated ceiling. Thoughts wonder my mind, causing me to forget about my surroundings. I am listening to the pitter patter of rain drops hitting the rooftop ever so slightly.

I roll out of bed and stumble over to the mirrors.
Gosh, it looks like a full blast hurricane hit me. I brush out my waist long hair and throw on a big grey sweater along, with slippers. I look over at the clock on the tiny antique white night stand, the time reads "10:33" Ella tends to fall asleep rather late. She's always keeping me up at night. But that's okay, someone needs to take care of her, right?

I slowly make my way down the stairs. As I'm walking down stairs frigid air hits my face.
As the cold air hit my face it reminded me of all the times I went down stairs to check on my mom because I heard her wincing in pain. It seems like as soon as I step off the very last step I'm going to see my moms blood on the floor with her sobbing and wincing on the floor is pure pain. But I know, as soon as I step of the very last wooden step, I won't see what I always saw.

I grip onto the wood railing. I slowly step off of the last wooden stair. I turn the corner and walk down the long narrow hallway that leads to the living room. The house is dark. No lights are on, and nothing from outside is producing light to shine through the house. There is not one sound floating around the house.As I get further down the hallway I can see bright flashes coming from the tv.
I turn the sharp corner, and my gaze reaches Ella sleeping on the couch beside Mrs.Wilkinson.
I lean my body up against the door frame and cross my arms.
♡
Sometimes I wish Ella had a mother figure in her life other then me. I wish my mom took responsibility for her. I'm seventeen, I can't raise her. But my mother had me when she was fifteen so she thinks I'm capable of raising her daughter.
I look up at Mrs.Wilkinson and a bright smile is forming on her face.
♡
" hi." I say quietly while I force a smile onto my face.
" hello honey. Is it time for Ella to go to bed?" She asks while shifting her weight.
" yeah. I probably should bring her up stairs."
" oh honey, take a break tonight. I'll put her to sleep!"
" no, no. Really it's fine. She will just fuss and fuss. It's seriously fine. I've been doing it for a year, it's cemented into my schedule." I say rather quietly while partly giggling.
" You're really good with Ella, Jenna! She's very lucky she has someone like you in her life. Everyone would be lucky to have you in their life."