After Jared left, I lay in his bed depressed for most of the next day. He eventually called to let me know that he had arrived at his hotel, but would be out for most of the day. I recognized that I was acting like a baby, but just couldn't make myself get out of bed and go home. His scent lingered on the pillow and the dark shirt was still lying on the floor where I started to undress him after his meeting.
I plucked it up and put it on, before stripping the sheets from the bed to wash. Finding a clean set, I made the bed and then walked down to the kitchen. I helped myself to a bowl of cereal and I sat down to eat. Being surrounded by his things and wearing a shirt that still smelled of him somehow made me feel a little better. My phone rang and I dashed up the stairs, smiling and thinking it was Jared, but it wasn't. Seeing Kara's name on the screen, I let it go to voice mail.
When I finally did speak to him again, it was around eight that night. I hesitated to tell him that I was still at his house, afraid that he may feel uncomfortable about it. Some people don't like to have company in their home when they aren't home. Jared wasn't like that at all. When I told him I was still there, he invited me to stick around for as long as I wanted. "Cas, you know that you're always welcome to stay as long as you want. Just lock up if you go anywhere."
Lying across his bed, I held the phone to my ear. Surrounded by his lingering scent and listening to his voice, I pretended he was there with me. We talked for a while, but I knew he was exhausted and didn't want to keep him from sleeping. He was three hours ahead of me and I could hear the exhaustion in his voice. Reluctantly, I said goodnight and disconnected.
I ended up going home the following day and we would inevitably settle into a daily routine. We sent a few texts during the day and then right before he went to bed, we would talk. Just knowing that I'd get to hear his voice every day definitely put a smile on my face.
The first week passed by pretty fast, but the second seemed to drag on forever. Working during the day kept me busy, but the nights sucked. The night before he was to be home, I went out to dinner with Kara and our small group.
The more they chatted about things I had obviously missed, the more out of place I felt. Eric and Celeste weren't very friendly to me, but I didn't give a shit what they thought. I had changed and I was truly contented in my relationship, something I haven't experienced in a long time. You'd think my friends would be happy for me, but they weren't.
Kara was the first to speak and it was clearly for the group. She informed me that I no longer returned anyone's calls or answered their texts since being with Jared. Victoria's dad had a stroke and I had no idea since I hadn't called anyone back. I felt guilty and my crappy little apology wasn't going to smooth things over.
I left dinner, feeling like shit, but still anticipating Jared's call. My plan was to take a hot bath and curl up on the couch with a cup of hot chocolate. Maybe I'd read a few chapters of the true crime book I started over a month ago. Jesus, I was slacking on everything lately. Walking down the dimly lit hallway to my apartment, I stared down at the floor and heard someone whistling. Looking up, I grinned big and darted toward him. I practically leapt into his arms, totally shocked that he was home early. "What are you doing here?"
"Got an early flight. Did you miss me?" He asked, grinning ear to ear. The beard that had grown in just over two and a half weeks made him look so different. I cupped his face, pressing my lips to his.
"That's an understatement." My hands were shaking and I gave him my keys, refusing to let him go.
He unlocked my door. "Let's go inside and pack a bag. I want you with me at my place tonight." Slipping my keys in his pocket, he took my hand and guided me inside. "Man, I'm glad you showed up when you did, I was about to call you and ruin my little surprise."
"Well, I'm definitely surprised to see you here." I kissed his lips and he sat on my bed, placing the clothing I tossed on the bed, neatly into my bag. "You look so hot with that beard."
"You like that, huh?" He seemed happy with my compliment.
"I do!" When I gathered all of the things I'd need, we left. The next week was spent working and trying to make up for the two weeks he was gone. I knew right away that I was falling in love with him, but still avoided using the 'L' word. I knew that Jared had feelings for me, but love? Wasn't it kind of soon for that?
The sad reality that I was getting older set in the night before my 36th birthday. That and the fact that I knew what the topic of conversation would be at dinner with my parents, made me so depressed. I hadn't spoken to them much lately because every time a conversation begins, it ends quickly in an argument since they keep bringing up Brian. They didn't understand me at all.
Jared woke me up the next morning by peppering my neck with kisses. "Wake up birthday girl, I made you breakfast." He made pancakes and had a big glass of juice to go with it. They had coconut whipped cream and sprinkles on them like a real birthday treat.
"Thank you, but you really didn't have to do this, Jared." He sat next to me with a plate of pancakes for himself. I really wanted to tell him about Brian and everything that happened, warn him ahead of time about what would more than likely happen tonight at dinner, but I couldn't ruin the moment. Instead, I crossed my fingers and hoped that my parents would somehow be different this year.
We spent the day relaxing and enjoying each other's company. Just as we were walking out the door for dinner, he hugged me tight. "When we get back from dinner you can have your birthday gift. Ready?"
Nodding my head, I could feel my stomach starting to turn as he drove us to the restaurant. It was the same restaurant everything thing year. My parents even reserved the same table and always ordered the same food. When Jared and I approached, my mother stood, rounding the table and hugging me, a rarity that only happened once a year. "Cassandra, you didn't tell me that we would be having a guest."
"I apologize, this is my.... boyfriend Jared." I worried that my hesitation and choice of words may upset him, but it didn't. My father glanced over at Jared and then took his turn to hug me.
"Happy Birthday Cassandra." My mother spoke again. "You look nice this evening."
"Thank you. I'm glad that you guys made it." I lied, but what was I supposed to say? My hands rubbed nervously up and down my legs.
"We wouldn't miss your birthday sweetheart." My father insisted.
"So, tell us, where did you meet your boyfriend?" My mother questioned, taking a sip of her wine.
"At a club. Jared is a very talented actor and musician." It was already starting. The disapproval was becoming obvious by her expression. They never cared much for LA or Hollywood trash, as they liked to call it.
She laughed. "At a club? Hmm. So, Jared, has Cassandra told you that she may move back home to Sacramento."
Before he could respond, I squeezed his hand under the table. "I'm not moving back mother."
"You will dear, when you've had your fill of the excitement here and come to your senses. Your father ran into Brian the other day. He asked about you." She said taking another long sip of her red wine. Aunt Linda told me that she could polish off a bottle or two a day.
"I really don't want to talk about Brian." I said quietly. I knew that this would end badly. "It's my birthday, can't we just have a nice meal together without a fight? You know, try something new?"
"Cassandra, if you come home with us, you can turn your life around and change your grim future." She finally set the glass down and leaned forward. "You can right all of your wrongs and apologize to Brian. He will forgive you, and the best part is that he's still single." It made me sick to my stomach that neither of them had any consideration for Jared.
"Who is Brian?" Jared asked, placing his hand on my knee. It was then I regretted my decision from breakfast.
It was my father who responded. "Brian is Cassandra's ex fiancé. He dumped her two days before their wedding because she insisted she doesn't want children."
My mother downed the rest of her first glass of wine and leaned back in her chair. "Imagine that, a silly woman who doesn't want children. Brian's family is very well known in our town and he is a pediatrician. He loves kids, and I don't understand how I raised an ungrateful daughter who hates them."
