Unexpected

19

EMMA POV

3 weeks.

It had been 3 weeks since that fateful night.

3 weeks of sleep deprivation.

3 weeks of isolation.

21 days of avoiding absolutely everything and everyone.

But today was the 22th day.

The first day I had gotten a full night's rest. The first day I began to feel alive again. I didn't care if I was being dramatic. I needed this time to heal. It was my first real heartbreak and it had absolutely destroyed me. I vowed to never feel this low again.

I would get out of bed, wash his scent from the sheets. I would shower and brush my hair. I would leave my apartment. I wouldn't let him break me.

The heat of the water was consuming me. It was almost dizzying, but it felt good to feel again. I scrubbed my skin raw in hopes that any trace of his touch would run down the drain with my soap. I stayed under the water long after it began to run cold.

I took a deep breath before stepping out onto the damp linoleum floor. I stood in front of the fogged up mirror for a second, preparing myself to face my reflection. With a swipe of my hand, I found someone staring back at me. She looked like me, but different. This girl was tired, there were bags under her eyes that looked like big bruises, the hollows of her cheeks were so sunken in it looked like she hadn't eaten in months, her collarbone jutted out so much it looked breakable. When my shaking fingers reached up to brush a strand of wet hair back, she did, too. Of course I was only staring at my own reflection. I wrapped the towel around myself tighter and walked back to my room.

—

The heat in LA was almost unbearable. I almost regretted leaving the comfort of my air conditioned apartment. It was too late to turn back now, I was late as usual. If I stood up James it would only worry him more. I watched my reflection in the buildings as I walked passed them, making sure my facade of being happy looked believable.

"I'm meeting someone. It should be under the name James." I told the young hostess. She smiled at me and led the way to our table.

James was already there, of course. No one was more punctual than him. He barely noticed us as we approached the table, too entranced by his phone. Seeing him gave me a pang of guilt. I had missed him so much, pushing him away was inexcusable.

"Hey kitty girl." He said standing up to hug me. His tone wasn't as chipper as usual, it held traces of pity.

"Hi babe." I hugged him back tightly, cherishing the embrace. "How have you been?"

"I should be asking you that, miss fell of the face of the universe." Though he replied sarcastically, he smiled. "I missed you a lot Emma. We all did."

"I've been good." I ignored his last comment, knowing exactly what 'we' he was referring to. "Well I'm good now at least."

"You look good" he lied. I could feel him staring at my skeletal appearance. I cursed the heat for not allowing me to wear a big sweatshirt to conceal my body. The only summer clothes I had were crop tops and shorts. The red top I had chosen had once been my favorite, now I hated it for being so unforgiving.

"So do you. You always do. I really missed you, I'm sorry for going incognito." I gave him a big smile, I genuinely meant it.

"S'okay. I understand. Well, not really. Eth- I mean he..." he corrected himself when he saw the frown forming on my face. How pathetic, i couldn't even hear his name without missing him. "He wouldn't say what happened. I don't know if he ended up telling Grayson, but I'm still in the dark. Either way Gray and I have been really worried about you. Everything is falling apart without you."

This. This was exactly why I didn't want to pursue anything with Ethan. I knew things would end badly for me, they always did when it came to boys. I never wanted to ruin our friendship group. This was the exact reason I regretted letting my feelings get the best of me.

"I just needed some time to think. But, I'm back now. I feel a whole lot better and I'm ready to put the whole thing behind me." I took a long drink of water hoping James wouldn't catch the crack in my voice. Was I ready to leave everything in the past? Was I so stubborn I wouldn't allow myself to see him and get closure?

"Have you talked to him?" James asked, his face full of concern. It pained me to hurt him, to keep things from him. If I told him what had happened, I would be forced to relive the night I was so desperate to forget.

"No. You're not the only person I've been avoiding. I shut my phone off, I'm not even sure if he tried contacting me." I buried myself into the menu, scanning the items with great detail. If I looked up, he would see the tears brimming in my eyes.

"Are you guys all set to order?" Our waiter approached the table, setting a basket of warm bread down.

"Can I get an iced almond milk latte and the avocado toast with a side of fruit and home fries please." I ordered knowing I had no appetite. If I didn't force myself to eat today, I would surely wither away.

"I'll do an orange juice and a bacon egg and cheese on a croissant please. Ooo, and can I also get a cappuccino and a side of home fries as well mmm and the French toast please." James handed his menu to the waiter, who was trying to hide his shock.

"I don't know how you stay so skinny, you eat like a pig." I laughed, rolling my eyes at him.

"Hey you could use a few extra pounds yourself." James shot back.

I stopped laughing. I didn't need him to remind me of how much I had let myself go. I didn't need to be reminded of how much Ethan's betrayal had affected me.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that it was insensitive." He reached across the table and placed his hand over mine. I gave him a small smile to show him it was okay, though it felt far from it.

"It's fine. Let's change the subject, what have you been up to while I've been gone?"

James dove into his story, waving his hands around as he spoke like he usually did. He was excited about something and I was thankful for the opportunity to zone out and let him carry on for as long as he wanted.

Our food came and I did my best to enjoy it, but it went down like lumps of dry rocks. I drank my coffee, welcoming the familiar sweetness. I smiled and laughed, speaking when necessary. James talked the entire breakfast. Usually that would annoy me, but I was glad the attention was off me and I didn't have to speak about Ethan at all.

When he invited me shopping I wanted to decline, but I knew if I went back to my bed I would fall right back into the slum I had been in for so long. I agreed, reluctant to be back into society and more reluctant to torture myself with James' driving. If I could keep up my facade for the entire day, I knew I would be okay.

Looking back, I don't know if accepting James' offer was the best or worst decision I had made since deciding to date Ethan.