Who He Is

twelve

Warning: Chapter contains mature content. If uncomfortable with this, you can skip the last half. Enjoy!

J

I always thought home was a place, somewhere that you had to be physically. I've never experienced having a place that felt like home before, but what if home didn't have to be a place? What if it was a person too?

I felt a feeling similar to being homesick as I walked farther away from Jessa's house. It was like an ache in the deepest part of me, an ache that got worse the farther I walked.

I folded my arms together in an attempt to keep warm before turning down some random road in hopes of finding some sort of alleyway to stay in, or if I was lucky some train tracks to follow.

The mixture of the cold and rain was fucking agonizing. I wanted nothing more than to take another hot shower, and fuck, besides Jessa that's all I could think about. I missed the way the water would burn my skin in the most satisfying way and I missed how it'd still be warm in the bathroom when I stepped out. Other than that though, I especially missed Jessa and the way she touched my bruised torso with her soft fingertips in a way that was almost orgasmic.
She was warmth, and I was the cold.

It was maybe three in the morning, and for the first time since I left Jessa's house I saw a beam of headlights shine from behind me. I waited for the car to pass, but it seemed to have stopped. I walked faster and lowered my head, secretly paranoid that it could have been one of Cris's gang members, for if it was, I'd have to add another body to my damned list.

I didn't like to hurt people. I hated it, actually. But if I were to ever get killed it'd be done by myself, not by one of his fucking crackhead minions.

"Hey!" I heard an all too familiar voice from behind me.

There's no way in hell..

I continued to walk as fast as I could as if that would somehow do anything, as if maybe she'd take the hint and leave. I even considered running, but I couldn't bring myself to do it.

"J!" She screamed, and I could tell by the crack in her voice that she was crying. It broke me to hear, but I couldn't stop, she had to take the fucking hint..it's for her own good.

"Jaxson!" Jessa yelled, this time way louder than before. I instantly stopped in my tracks and froze in place. Hearing her say my full name stunned me, and it pissed me off beyond belief.

"Don't call me that." I finally spoke, rage clear in my voice. I didn't want to be associated with my father in any type of way.

"You left me!" A boom of thunder cracked through the sky as I finally gained the strength to turn around and look at her.

"Go back home." I demanded through my chattering teeth, knowing deep down that her stubborn ass wouldn't listen.

"No." She took a step closer to me, but I stepped back. I couldn't be close to her, it would just make shit harder for the both of us.

Why couldn't she just have stayed home? Why did she have to come looking for me? I should have moved faster..

"How dare you leave me without a single goodbye or an explanation! Do I not deserve something as simple as that?" Jessa cried, her tears blending in with the raindrops that were covering the entirety of her face.