Who He Is

seventeen

J

My heart was beating out of my chest so hard that I thought I might have a heart attack at any given moment during sex with Jessa. I mean fuck, I thought I knew what good sex was before but clearly I had not one clue. I've fucked maybe four girls in my lifetime, all of them boring as hell and each time I was either high or drunk off my ass.

This though, was euphoric.

I knew now that I was without a doubt in love with Jessa, so much that it actually hurt. It set a fire so deep inside of me that it burned every time I saw her smile. I ached every time I heard her laugh. It was basically a death sentence to even think about being apart from her. I never thought I'd know what love felt like, but now I do. It's like looking forward to tomorrow and actually seeing and being excited for the future- something I never knew I'd have because I thought I'd be dead by now..
It was a blessing and a curse.

A blessing because I found someone that's truly given me a purpose on this earth, and a curse because now I have to look after someone other than myself. Which obviously is the problem considering I can barely even feed myself without difficulty.

I pushed a strand of hair from Jessa's forehead as I watched her sleep. She was still completely naked and had her legs and arms wrapped around me, something I never knew I wanted until I had it. I hated sleeping next to girls after sex with them..I'd usually leave whatever sleazy motel room they paid for and sleep in my usual spot outside instead of staying. I never wanted them to get any attachments, I just wanted to distract myself for a night and move on.

She stirred slightly and I smiled as I watched her eyes slowly flutter open.

"Good morning." I said with soft kiss to her lips. She smiled against my mouth and raised her hand to my cheek, rubbing the skin with her thumb. I closed my eyes, enjoying the warmth of her touch.

"Good morning." Jessa replied, now running her fingers slowly down my neck, then to my chest.

I winced slightly as her finger brushed against one of my most recent cuts. I remember the guy had dragged his pocket knife through my shirt and down my skin torturously slow to make me suffer longer. It was over some stupid shit, he did it just because he knew he could. I handled it fine though and managed to turn it around on him and shove it straight into his eye socket. I still think about his screams.

"Shit, I'm sorry." She whispered, instantly moving her hand away.

"No, you're fine. Still sensitive is all." I smiled, insuring her that it was okay. It happened just hours before Jessa came to me for the first time, and I still remembered her eyes flickering down to see that mans eye socket blood dried and crusted on my chapped knuckles.

"I feel like I should apologize for last night." Jessa says, thankfully changing the subject.

I almost asked her to repeat what she had said, just because I really couldn't believe she'd want to apologize for what happened. I didn't exactly expect it either, but still there's no night in the world that I would trade for it.

"I want to say I wanted a distraction, but truthfully I've been thinking of us doing that for a while." She said, blushing immediately after the words fell from her soft pink lips that matched the color of her-

"A while, huh?" I said, interrupting my own inappropriate thoughts that had me getting hard all over again. "I've been thinking about it the first time I laid eyes on you."