Broken Words

Chapter 4- 6/4/11

"Mom please," Jess whined.

"Jessica, I can't go. You're a big girl now, you can go to this picnic on your own," Her mom replied sternly.

"It was supposed to be a family thing," Jess murmured under her breath. "Besides, I was going to perform."

"What were you going to do?"

"Dance."

Her mother looked at her and Jess thought that for once, maybe for the first time, she was looking at her with approval. But that illusion smashed like glass.

"I doubt it'll be very good," Her mom said. "You haven't had a teacher to help you choreograph it, not that I want you to really anyway. And you've been to about three dance lessons in your life."

"That's because you didn't want me to go," Jess whined.

"Jessica, stop complaining!" Her mum exclaimed, anger causing her voice to rise. "Just go and enjoy your picnic."

Jess scoffed and opened the car door, grabbed her picnic blanket and clambered out. She looked back at her mum, who was staring out of the window, her lip taken beneath her teeth and fingers drumming on the steering wheel. The white patches, like the first snow, around her knuckles, suggested the urge her mother had to punch something, anything.

She slammed the door behind her and stalked down the road, clenching and unclenching her fist in turn.

They always did this, getting her hopes up and then letting her down harshly. She just wanted them to spend some time with her parents, like most children her age. Did they not love her anymore? Was it her fault that they were fighting all of the time?

A large wooden stage had been set up in the middle of the green field, people milling around it to add the finishing touches to the talent show. Most people were already there, her fellow students with their parents, brothers, sisters, uncles, aunties, anyone who wanted to see the show. And there stood Jess on the edge of the field, a small hunched figure curling in on herself. Nothing.

"Jessie!" Her friend, May, squealed, running over and grabbing her hands. "Come sit with us."

Jess allowed herself to be dragged over, knowing that although it wasn't her parents, the company would help the time fly. May was there with her mother and father, who were organising a large banquet of food.

"Hi Jess," May's mother looked up and smiled. "Are your parents not here yet?"

"They couldn't come, they're busy at work," Jess said quickly, the lie dripping from her tongue like honey.

She refused to mention that her father had been awol since Thursday. She refused to mention that her mother wasn't going back to work, she was going to go home and drink wine and try to call her husband again. She refused to mention the disgraceful situation she was in, because Jess would rather die than be taken away from her parents.

"Well you can sit with us then. We've packed enough for the whole bloody picnic," May's father said.

With a grateful smile, Jess eased herself down onto the picnic blanket as the host, the school's principal, came on stage.

"May told me that you're performing," May's mother whispered. "Let me guess, you're singing."

"Unless you wanted to make your ears bleed, then you don't ask Jess to sing," May replied, while Jess shook her head. "She's dancing mom."

"Ah of course, well we're rooting for you," May's father gave her a small pat on the back.

***