Broken Words

Chapter 8- 5/8/18

The hospital gown lay at the edge of her bed, haunting her, torturing her. It taunted her about her health; her struggles; her fears.

Since that night at the park, the Flowering Arboretum as she'd later found it to be called, her life had been going in a downward spiral. In and out of hospital, countless therapy sessions, fights with parents and then quickly reverting back into her shell to stop herself from getting hurt.

Jess could see her relationships deteriorating in front of her. She could see her sanity slipping through her fingers, smashing into tiny pieces that she wouldn't be able to put together.

Over the years, Jess has been plagued by that night. Gunshots disguised as thunder and silhouettes disguised as lightning. It followed her everywhere, the experience staining itself onto her eyelids. She'd lost sleep, so much sleep.

The whole thing had lead to her being covered in scars, some visible, some not.

There was a scar on her shoulder from that night. She couldn't remember where or how she'd got it, but she knew it was bad. It was a big ugly mark that had been infected and when asked about it, she shied away from the subject.

Then there were the two on her wrists. Long angry vertical marks that stretched from the base of her hands to half way up her forearm. These were the reason why she was in hospital, well, the reason for her most recent stay in hospital.

And there were more, so many more, all invisible to the human eye. Scars across her heart and her head, scars of stress and fear and suffering. Jess wanted them gone but no one could see them. No one could do anything.

No, she had to help herself, it was the only way to get better. But she couldn't. Jess was so tired of all the fighting she'd done over the past few years, she wanted to give up.

"Miss Kim, your parents are here," The nurse said.

Jess nodded and gave her a small smile. She wasn't as excited as she should be.

Over the past six months, she'd become a burden to her parents. They came to visit her everyday in the beginning, but as the length of her stay had increased, they'd become more irritated. They didn't bring anymore gifts and there were some weeks where they wouldn't visit at all, not apologising and giving the excuse of meetings and deadlines.

"How are you feeling Jessica?" Her mother asked as her parents walked into the room.

Not my darling, not even Jess. After her admittance to hospital, she'd become Jessica.

She noticed how they crowded near to the door, as if they may end up contaminated if they took a step closer.

"You don't need to panic, my depression isn't contagious," Jess said calmly, staring both of her parents down.

An awkward silence descended over the room, her parents glancing at one another nervously. The nurse stood in the doorframe, nibbling on her lip.

"Well I'll give you a few moments to get your things," She said, excusing herself from the uncomfortable situation.

Jess continued to glare at her parents, her eyes burning into them harshly. She had a bone to pick with them.

"Where have you been for the past month?" She asked. "I was beginning to think that you'd abandoned me."

"I had deadlines," Her mom stuttered.

"And I had meetings, lots and lots of meetings," Her dad added unconvincingly.

Sighing, Jess shook her head and stood up, grabbing a bag and shoving objects into it.

"You'd think with all the time you spent away from me, you'd have become better liars," She said. "You just didn't want to come and see me, say it."

"Your mother is very uncomfortable in hospitals..." Her dad said in a flustered manner.

"So am I, and I've been here for the past six months!" Jess exclaimed.

Her parents looked incredibly uncomfortable, her father checking his watch and her mother switching a carrier bag between her hands.

"What's in the bag mom?" Jess asked, slinging her own bag over her shoulders.

Her mother said nothing, simply passing her the bag. Jess peered inside and found a school uniform. She looked up at her parents in disbelief.

"You're making me transfer schools again," She said in disbelief.

"Well you missed so much of last year that we thought it would be best for you to start again, a fresh start," Her father explained.

"You've got to be kidding me," Jess chuckled hysterically. "Again! You know how difficult it was the last time."

"We wouldn't have had to the last time if you'd just spoken to us instead of resorting to those pills," Her mother said quietly.

"I did try to speak to you but it's not my fault that you don't think mental health exists!" Jess screamed, finally having had enough.

Another awkward silence descended onto the room as her parents glanced at each other again. Hopefully they were reevaluating their parenting skills.

"Excuse me, are you all ready to leave?" The nurse was back, cowering in the doorway after hearing Jess's outburst.

"Yes, we're ready," Jess replied, glowering at her parents once again.

They spun around and walked out of the door, their ears, cheeks and the napes of their necks burning from uneasy and embarrassment.

Jess on the other hand, felt slightly triumphant. She'd said things to her parents that she never thought she'd be able to do, that was no easy feat.

And she was out, she'd gotten better. Of course, there were pills to take and therapy sessions to go to and the depression would always be there, but she was getting better.

Walking down the hall was like reaching the finish line. She'd done it.

She turned to look back at her room, pulling a triumphant face at the hospital gown. It had lost its taunting effect and lay there pathetically, nothing more than a thin white piece of fabric.

She'd gotten better. She'd won this battle.

Just started reading the bts webtoon thingy and I'm so scared about what's going to happen.

Ok, so I'm thinking of adding another book to the series. I already planned to have four books, but now that there's the actual webtoon, I kind of want to write a book on that story as well. But, y'know, we'll see.