white noise

five

Hey guys, thanks for reading and keeping up! This is a story i've wanted to write for a long time, and I already had the first few chapters written before I started. I'm going to try and get a new chapter out every three days, because it takes me two days to write and one day to quickly edit it. Thanks so much for reading and your votes, i'm so grateful.
-Emmanuelle

I skip the part of the party where I say 'Hi' to the neighbors. Instead I run up the stairs, shut my bedroom door, and crawl into my bed.

I stare at my ceiling. My eyes follow the crevices and veins of the aged plaster. My hands meet my lips, and I am soon running them over the edges, imagining David's tongue following the same pattern. Over the small dip I have over my top lip, taking note of how small my nose is, my blue eyes. Feeling him touch my neck, licking it as he explores more. He runs his hand along my collar bone, notices the scar I have over my left breast from falling off rocks while climbing. Cupping them, kissing them, his teasing mouth leading down to my core.

It takes me a second to realize he is actually not here. That it is my hand running itself in the ways I thought he was.

I am going mad.

A car door shuts outside. I walk to my window and through the curtains I see Lavinia and David getting out of the car. They meet in the middle of the hood, and Lavinia begins hitting David's chest. I hear muffled yelling, and David tries to calm her by whispering in her ear. I feel the soft air of his whisper touching my ear.

She continues hitting his chest, yelling. What could have possibly gone so awry since the last time I saw them?

They go on like this for several minutes. Her yelling, him trying to calm her down, sometimes engaging back in the yelling.

I almost open my window a crack to hear what is being said, but I restrain myself. It's none of your business.

Eventually, he grabs both of her hands, and grips them tightly. I can feel his long fingers wrapped around my wrist. I can see my skin blanching where he would have wrapped himself around me, urging me to calm down.

She looks shocked when he grabs her like this. He once again whispers something into her ear, and begins kissing her, releasing her arms when the kiss deepens. She leans up against the car, and he follows, laying in between her spread legs.

I shut my curtains and go to bed, trying to escape my thoughts.

**********************

Josefina wakes me, holding a glass of apple juice she probably made this morning.

"Your sister is sick today. Your mom wants you to know so you can stay away from her and not get ill."

I feel dazed as well. I drank a lot last night too, but besides a headache I feel fine.

She hands me the glass, and I sit up in bed. "Where are my parents?"

"Your mom had to drive into town, your father is in the study working on his paper. Very important day today." She stands and pulls open the curtains, igniting my room with sunlight.

"You'll go swimming then?" She asks, taking the now empty glass from my hand.

"Of course."

I begin to rise out of bed and a splitting headache takes over my thoughts. Josefina notices and says "Let me." I knew what she meant by those words. She was going to take care of me, like she had when I was younger. She missed being needed by Lavinia and I, and so every chance she got she would fuss.

She braids my hair, this time in two tight braids to keep the hair out of my face completely in the water. She tucks the loose strands masterfully in place. She hums softly while she does it, a rhythm she has vocalized for years. I know it by heart but never mutter it. It's Josefina's hum.