solby | miss missing you

five.

cue all the love to leave my heart.

"samuel john fucking golbach, god knows i've been patient but i'm two seconds away from knocking that damn door down."

elton expects his empty threat to be ignored, as per usual. he knows how stubborn his blonde friend is, for fuck's sake he's witnessed it firsthand after the many times he's found himself in front of sam's door, pleading and praying. his knuckles hurt from knocking so much and from biting down on it to appease his nerves. worry is eating away at him, his hands never stop shaking. he just wants to see his best friend, to know how he's doing, it's killing him to be so clueless.

a click is heard and elton perks up, all ears to whatever sound follows.

silence.

and then he sees it.

the door handle jiggles almost unnoticeably, as if the hand trying to push it down was too weak. elton reaches for it, pushing without difficulty before the door flies open, revealing a small, fragile body, arms wrapped around his middle in a form of protection. dark circles underline blue eyes, cheekbones prominent but hidden behind a messy beard, proving how poorly sam's treated himself since the break-up. his lips have lost their pink color, opting instead for blood red cracks, the result of biting down on it too hard and too often. his blonde hair sticks to his skin, from both sweat and greasiness, but it doesn't seem to bother sam like it used to. he doesn't want to care. he doesn't care.

at the sight elton is speechless, all traces of anger gone from his system, words caught in the back of his throat in the form of tears that he refuses to let fall. his strong composure cracks, allowing him to suck in a harsh breath before he pulls himself back together, his strong arms losing no time to wrap around the smaller boy.

sam can't find it in himself to reject him, instead he melts into the embrace within a heartbeat, rests his head on elton's shoulder and shuts his eyes tightly. he focuses on the light circles on his back, on elton's soothing voice whispering words of reassurance in his ear. the older man has never been so gentle, his tone is so soft, it's out of character.

"let's get you to the bathroom, yeah ?" elton murmured, pulling away but still remaining close to sam, hoping it was bringing the blonde the comfort he's definitely been craving. "you need a shower, and a shave."

sam faintly nods and elton takes his hand in his own, the gesture nothing but friendly, before gently leading him down the hall and into the bathroom. he doesn't comment on the blinds that seem to be closed in every room of the apartment, and he flicks on the light, failing to notice how sam winces at it.

it's too bright, his eyes have grown used to the darkness, he's grown fond of it. he can't get himself to take the pictures off the walls, but in the dark he can only distinguish their frame, not the frozen memory inside of it.

without a word elton rummages through the cabinet, sighing sadly at the amount of empty space there is. it really is like the ex-couple have cut everything in half, colby reluctantly taking one and sam keeping the other.

before, it would've made sense. they were soulmates, halves of a soul coming together to form one in a beautiful harmony. but one crack led to another and now they're not even hanging by a thread anymore.

"i'll leave you to it. if you need anything, i'll be in the living room, 'kay ? take your time, sammy." elton says quietly after walking out to go get some clothes for sam. he places a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie, as well as a towel on the sink and after a nod and a small smile from the blonde, he walks out and closes the door behind him.

the shower doesn't take long to turn on and elton's relieved that sam is compliant. the last he wants is to have to beg or force the blonde to do anything.

with a hundredth sigh the man heads back into the living room which is connected to the kitchen. he walks over to the window and pulls the curtains open, sighing, contently this time, when the warmth of a sunray hits his face gently. he creaks the window open, letting some fresh hair in. with more light now, elton can see how actually untouched the kitchen is. he immediately opens the fridge and cringes when a putrid smell hits his nostrils, almost closing the door again but instead he brings one hand up to pinch his nose and the other starts to shuffle through the fridge.

he makes a noise of disgust as he pulls packets and bottles out, opening them and grudgingly sniffing them before tossing them in the trash. usually he'd be careful with recycling but then, he couldn't care less.

the fridge is nearly empty when he's done and he makes a mental note to go grocery shopping, knowing for a fact that sam wouldn't do it himself.

speaking of, sam walks into the room right when elton finally closes the fridge but the blonde only notices how his friend walks over to the coffee machine, hand approaching the button.

"please don't turn it on." and sam sounds so broken elton doesn't hesitate before retracting his hand.

the slightly older man faces sam, a smile making its way to his face in hopes it'd elicit one from the blonde. surprisingly, it does. it's barely noticeable but it's still there, and it's enough for elton.

he tries to ignore how sam is drowning in the hoodie, more than usually, and leans back against the counter. "hey, how about we go for a walk ? get you some fresh air ?"

elton makes sure he's not forcing sam to do anything, because he's aware of how difficult of a time the blonde is having. he understands, he knows breakups are never easy, he knows sam and colby's breakup is the hardest.

faintly, sam nods. he pulls the sleeve of his hoodie past his fingertips and tugs his hand in his pocket, taking a deep breath in and releasing it a few seconds later. he repeats that a couple times, it feels nice to breathe air that actually comes from outside, not the air that has swirled around the place for the past weeks.

and without another word they walk out of the apartment, down the stairs and finally outside.

it's warm. it's calm. it doesn't appease the tightness in sam's chest, but it sure soothes down the sadness in his heart.

perhaps he can be okay again.

perhaps he will be okay again.