Chapter nine - red martyr
It literally hurt my heart to write this chapter. Like. Wow. I’ve just got so attached to Ray and Mikey writing this fic, oh god :’(
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Mikey’s mother forced me to leave the incastum once the sky turned dark and Ray hadn’t turned up. Come to think of it, neither had Gerard, but everybody just assumed that he was with Renée.
And anyway, I wasn’t supposed to be concerning myself with Gerard. I was forgetting about him. Getting over him. And I had more important things to worry about.
I snuck into my house through my bedroom window again, silently this time, making sure that the floor was clear before I fell inside. Thankfully, though, there wasn’t much there but a pair of jeans, and I was confident that my mother hadn’t heard me coming in.
Though I’d stayed up well past midnight, I couldn’t get to sleep, and I spent half the night up worrying about Ray. I barely knew the guy, but I was anxious for Mikey’s sake.
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The next morning, I decided to skip school. I couldn’t be bothered, plus I didn’t want Mikey to be alone. He was fourteen, he shouldn’t be left alone in the slums, especially as he was ill.
I climbed over the wall of the incastum this time instead of using the gate, as I was a little on edge after Ray had been taken away. I didn’t want to get spotted and harassed, or taken in for ‘questioning’.
When I turned up at the Ways’ tent, Mrs Way was gone again, Gerard was nowhere to be seen. Mikey was curled up in a ball sitting on his bed, looking scared and small.
“Mikey?” I said.
Mikey’s head snapped up, and his eyes met mine. “Frank,” he said hoarsely.
“Ray’s still not here?” I asked.
He shook his head.
“Well, where’s Gerard? And your mom?”
“Gee’s with Renée and mom’s at a check-up,” he croaked.
“Man, you were right about those meds killing your voice. D’you want me to stay with you?”
Mikey swallowed and nodded. We sat in silence for a while, and after a few minutes he turned to face me. “What if Ray doesn’t come back?” he whispered.
“You don’t need to think about that, because Ray will come back.”
“How do you know?”
“Because he loves you, and he wouldn’t leave without saying goodbye,” I said quietly.
“What if they didn’t let him?”
I shook my head. “No, we need to stop talking about this. Ray’s coming back, okay?”
I had no idea how I sounded so sure, so confident, when really, inside, I was just as worried as Mikey. What would happen if Ray really did never come back? Mikey would be heartbroken. Alone.
“Okay,” he said almost inaudibly.
I sighed and stared at the ant that was slowly crawling across the muddy floor towards me. I watched as its tiny legs worked in synchronisation to move its little brown body over dead blades of grass and dry dirt. It moved slowly, slowly, slowly, just like the time.
I was starting to regret not going to school. At least I would have had Bob to have a decent conversation with, even if there would have been prejudiced jocks all around us.
But when I looked over at Mikey again, vulnerable and anxious, waiting for someone who might not even come back, I knew I had made the right choice. I couldn’t just leave him on his own here. I didn’t understand how Gerard could possibly do that to his little brother when he used to care so much.
But even more, I couldn’t understand how the council could be so against someone like Mikey being able to be with the person he loved. How could they tear Mikey and Ray apart?
I wondered if it would be different if they had seen what I had seen; how happy the two made each other, and how beautiful it was to see that their love was so unconditional. Maybe if they just opened their minds for a second, they would see what they were doing to the world.
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I must have fallen asleep, because when I woke up, it was dusk, and Mikey was sobbing, and someone else was sitting on the bed.
My breath caught in my throat and I scrambled to get up and potentially attack, terrified that whites from the council had come to take Mikey and me too.
When I sat up though, I stopped, and my hand flew up to cover my mouth. Ray was back. His arms were wrapped tightly around Mikey, and Mikey’s face was buried in Ray’s neck as he cried.
“It’s okay, it’s okay,” Ray whispered into his hair; constant words of reassurance to prove that he was still there. “It’s okay. I’m okay. I’m okay.”
I felt like crying or smiling, I wasn’t sure which, and I wasn’t exactly sure why. I had only spoken to Ray once in my life, yet I had become unbelievably attached to him while seeing everything through Mikey’s eyes. I had seen how happy Mikey was when they were together. And I had seen how frightened Mikey was when Ray was gone. It was beautiful. It was more than beautiful; it was heart-wrenching.
“What happened?” Mikey croaked.
“They had to ask me some questions,” Ray said. “And I told them the truth.”
“And they didn’t want to kill you?” Mikey sniffed.
“I don’t know,” Ray said, a little confused. “They said they’d make an exception because we were so young.”
“An exception?” I asked.
“They wanted to arrest me. They’re nearly there, you know, they’ve nearly made it the law for blacks to be straight,” Ray said bitterly.
“It’s just fucking idiotic,” I said. “You can’t stop people being who they are.”
“Tell that to the council.”
There was silence for a few moments. Mikey and Ray held each other, and I glared at the floor.
“I fucking will,” I said fiercely. I stood up.
“What are you doing?” asked Ray warily.
“I’m going to tell the council what I think of their stupid fucking prejudice.”
“Frank, you can’t!” Mikey said hoarsely. “They’ll kill you!”
“Whatever,” I muttered. “I’ll be the first martyr for the cause.”
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Sorry, I kind of made you think I was going to kill Ray and Mikey off with that author’s note. No, I’m not killing them. Not yet, at least.
Or possibly ever.
In other news, I'm sick. Actually, I'm sicker than sick. I think I'm dying.
(Not really, but I feel like shit.)
Ps. Give me sympathy :(
xoxo
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Disgusting (Frerard)
Fanfiction"There's a reason we are white and pure, and they are black and dirty. There's a reason they stain our skin. That we are shamed if others see those stains. They're bad people, Frank. They're disgusting."
