This Song Saved My Life (All Time Low Fanfiction)

I'm Not Broken

"Then you're John's favorite band," I managed to say, a tear finding its way through my eyes and onto my cheek. "You're what kept him alive for so long." Alex nodded slowly. I started to go weak at the knees, trying to find something else to say. "John loved your music more than anything," I found myself saying. Connor walked closer to me, pulling me into a hug. He pulled away after a moment, and I sat down on the bed.

"So you like Simple Plan, huh?" I heard Rian say. I nodded, wiping away a tear.

"They're my favorite band," I replied. "Ever since I was five."

"Your parents let you listen to that when you were five?" Alex questioned.

"They could care less. John brought their first album home one day and I hid in his closet and listened to it. I'm Just A Kid was my song," I replied happily.

"So do you play? Sing? Anything?" Rian asked. I nodded.

"I play. I don't sing anymore," I replied. "Not since John died."

"I'm sure you can still sing. You don't just forget how to sing," he remarked. I sighed.

"I'll play if you want me to, but I can't sing. I just can't." My eyes filled up with tears as I picked up Stella.

The last time I had sang was for John the day he died. I had sung Jumper by Third Eye Blind, which was one of his favorite songs. We were singing it together in the car, our voices in perfect harmony. Then we arrived at home and he got his acoustic guitar, telling me to sing. I had sang quietly until he had told me to sing louder, and I did what he asked. Then our Dad told me to go to bed, and I did. But not until after we had sang the song again. Connor knew this, as I had told him a long time ago.

"Come here," Connor commanded me. I walked over to him slowly, tightening my hands around the guitar's neck. He put his arms on my shoulders and held me at arm's length. "You can sing, baby. I've heard you. You're fantastic. You can do this," he said quietly. I shook my head.

"Connor, I can't. I just can't," I said, my voice breaking and cracking in all of the right spots, making me sound like I was about to break down. "You know that." He shook his head, his eyes glaring down at me like a spotlight.

"No. Do it for John. You know you can," he said. "You can do this, baby." I sighed, pulling myself together. I nodded, knowing very well that I was setting myself up for failure. I sat on the bed again, letting Alex plug his phone into the guitar so the phone would be an amplifier of sorts. Then I thought of a song and started singing, playing the introduction with many mistakes. I didn't get the slide right, which angered me. I had spent so much time on the slide, and actually missed the first part where I was supposed to sing. I just stopped halfway through the song, and put it down.

"I told you I couldn't sing anymore. Or play," I replied, wiping the tears away that were on my cheeks. Connor sat down next to me and put an arm around my waist, letting me rest my head on his shoulder.

"Yes you can. You were really good. Like beyond good. Amazing, actually," Alex chimed in, standing off to the corner. I had actually forgotten that he was in the room. I blushed, feeling my cheeks go hot.

"Thanks, but I really suck. You don't have to rub it in," I replied, rubbing my arm and feeling a scar on it, quickly removing my hand. "How long do we have until we have to go to that stupid dinner thing?" Rian checked his phone.

"Um, about four hours. Why?" He put his phone back in his pocket. I sighed.

"Is that too long to take a nap?" I asked. They all shrugged.

"I guess you can, it's not like the bed's going to eat you while you're sleeping or anything," Alex said. I snorted, noticing his sarcasm.

"Good." I pulled back the covers on the bed and slipped in, turning on some Simple Plan and closing my eyes, sighing. Connor sat next to me, playing around on his acoustic for awhile. I smiled and turned over as he started playing So Far Away by Avenged Sevenfold, singing along softly in his deep, scratchy voice.