Anyway The Wind Blows

Chapter 2~ Hell

Johns POV

I went to go take a shower before I went out to get breakfast to fix my little "problem." Unfortunately when I got out most of the food was gone, and Bri, Rog, n Fred were in the living room when I got into the kitchen. I wasn't ready to face Freddie yet...not after the "incident."I tried to act as casually as I could walking to get what was left of the toast, Brian putting cheese on it like I love. I walked into our smaller living room and sat down next to Freddie, which was the biggest mistake of my life. The entire time I was trying my damned hardest to just eat my breakfast normally and watch some tv, Freddie was intensely staring at me with no intention of trying to hide it. I was just trying to keep in mind that everyone gets morning wood from time to time, just not about their friend. I mean it was just a dream, right? All kinds of crazy stuff happens in dreams, so I mean it could mean anything. Either way Freddie's gaze was locked onto me and I felt my face grow a little warm as I looked to see Brian and Roger completely unaware of the situation.

Freddies POV

I was still trying to figure little Deaky out, I felt like something was off about him now, just why now? I was staring at him all of breakfast trying to analyze his every move, honestly I was trying to use my gaydar on him, it's so good that sometimes I know people are gay before they even know they're gay, darling. Even though my staring was obvious I could tell Brian and Roger were just trying to not draw attention to it while John was trying to ignore it too, but I could see a blush creep up onto his cheeks. I studied the way he ate his toast and how he wiped his mouth afterwards, the way he crossed his legs when he sat back on the couch. Every little thing helped me get closer to figuring out if John Richard Deacon was, in fact, gay. I decided I would just be blunt about it and ask him right away, but I had to find the right moment when we could be alone because I would think John wouldn't want me to ask him in front of the boys.

Johns POV

Finally, when we all finished breakfast I decided to confront Freddie about his, if I might say, quite rude behavior. We were all getting ready to head down to the studio for the day so I knocked on Fred's door and waited til he said I could come in. "Hello darling, did you need something?" Freddie questioned me like he didn't just stare at me for 30 minutes while I ate my breakfast. "Yeah I just wanted to ask-"Let me stop you right there Johnny"he interrupted me with. "Tell me dear, do you like men?"he asked so casually it was scary. This question caught me off guard so I wasn't sure what to say, hell I was still trying to figure out if I did or not. I felt my blood run cold, I was nervous and it showed. I bit on down on my bottom lip nervously and looked down at my feet, avoiding Freddie's stare until the silence got to me. "I-I don't know really...." I stuttered out. Freddie studied my features for a moment before walking over to me slowly, standing slightly too close for my comfort and saying "I was just curious." He walked past me and out the door, his cologne filling the atmosphere, and leaving me there confused and flustered as I wasn't quite sure what happened. I froze up, I just let Freddie interrogate me while I didn't even get the chance to ask him why he was staring at me. I wanted to cry, I had no power over myself when he was around, this has been happening more lately and I hated it so much.

Freddie's POV

After breakfast when I began to get dressed I heard a knock at my door and John asking to come in, I contemplated whether to leave my shirt off for a moment to get a reaction out of him, but he's seen me shirtless before and in quite a few provocative outfits on stage. So with that I put on my Favorite white button up shirt with a pair of tight light wash jeans. "Come in darling" I shouted out for John. As he walked in he had a puzzled yet serious face on, but I didn't think much of it while I asked him what he needed, suddenly I remembered what I was going to ask him and thought this would be a good time to ask him. I cut him off in the middle of his sentence asking him if he liked men. It was so sudden I don't think John knew how to react, he just stared at the floor before awkwardly stuttering out that he didn't know. I was going to get an answer out of him sooner or later even if I had to rip it out of John. I usually don't do this, but I will for John because I will admit I have fancied him before, I just never put in the effort because I believed he was straight but now that I can tell he's questioning himself, I'm going to go in for the kill and win him over. I slowly walked up to John and leaned in as close as possible without making it look like I was leaning in for a kiss to tell him I was simply "Just curious." In all actually I was more than curious, I was extremely intrigued, I wanted to know who or what made him question his sexuality, was it me perhaps? Brian? Roger? I'll find out soon enough. I could tell I put him on edge a little as I walked past him, the scent of my cologne strong in the air, I was going to have fun with this..

Johns POV

The next few weeks were horrendous and I think Brian and Roger were beginning to catch on that there was some tension between Freddie and I. I starting getting more nervous, saying even fewer words than usual and I couldn't keep my eyes off Fred, I'm not sure what provoked these sudden feelings, but now I was sure I had feelings for Freddie.

Just a few days ago I had the worst encounter with Brian ever, and I think it answered my question of whether or not I like men. The other day when we were shooting for one of our music videos Brian asked me to help him get into his costume so of course I gladly obliged, but what didn't help was that they were tight little latex pants. I'm not sure what happened, but I started helping him into them and I guess Brian slipped while I was helping him pull them onto his legs, and he fell backwards onto me with us both hitting the floor hard, and his butt landed in my crotch, what didn't help was the fact that he was in his underwear and he kept squirming on top of me to get off, repeatedly saying sorry to me. Except the only reason I was so panicked was because I realized I had a semi underneath him and that was beyond embarrassing. I mean imagine accidentally getting a boner from your best mate while he's right there.... I don't even have feelings for him, it was just a reaction, he's just a friend. I'm pretty sure he felt it though, because he stopped squirming and tried to gently roll off, saying sorry once again, then awkwardly thanking me without looking at me and I shuffled out quickly, and that was the end of that. Now I'm just scared that Brian is going to tell the rest of the band, and the last thing I need right now is questioning or suspicions of my sexuality.

My only question was: why am I just now questioning my sexuality?