Shattered

2 .

I woke up at 6:30 this morning and wasn't really in the mood for school but I had to get the hell up out of this house . My auntie and Kevin didn't leave my room until like 2 in the morning and I spent the rest of the night crying . And every time I'd go to sleep my nightmares would just wake me right back up . My body was aching and sore . Every move I made hurt . As I got my things to take a shower I made my way to the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror. I looked like hell . My eyes were puffy from crying and my face was swollen . I sighed and grabbed my toothbrush to brush my teeth . After I brushed my teeth I got in the shower and let the hot water hit my sore body and loosen my tight muscles.

Once I got out the shower I got dressed in something comfy . I had on some grey leggings with a white hoodie . I made an attempt to hide the scratches and bruises I had on my arms and stuff but my hair cover my face and my hoodie cover my arms . I sat down on my bed and put my face into my hands trying to slow my breathing . I was having a panic attack , again . The thoughts of last night just made me sick to my stomach. I rushed to the trash can and threw up nothing . I hadn't ate so there was nothing there to throw up. Nothing but clear fluids came out of my mouth . I wanted to cry but I had no tears left .

" Mila ? " I heard somebody say and I looked up to see Jayjay standing . I cracked a small smile .

" Hey Jay . " I struggled to speak .

" Mila what's wrong ?? " he asked with a concerned look on him face .

" Nothing kid . I'm just feeling a little sick . " I told him .

" Hold on I'm going to go get you some water . " he said before running out of the doorway . I stood up and slowly made my way to my bed . I wasn't feeling good at all .

" Here Mila . " Jayjay said handing me a water bottle and sitting down next to me . I looked at him and he smiled at me and I returned.

" I can't stay here Jay . It's hell here . I don't know how or when I'm going to leave but I have to get out of this place Jay . " I told him in a voice lower then a whisper as a tear fell . He whipped my tear and put his head on my shoulder .

" If you have to leave then go . I don't want you here suffering. So when you have the money and the courage just go and don't come back . " he told me . For someone so young he had a good head on his shoulders .

" I want you to come with me . " I said and he sat up .

" Really ?? We can both get out of here ?? " he asked getting all excited.

" Not now but when it's time . We both can get out of here . " I said smiling at him and he smiled back and nodded . I kissed his forehead and got up and got my backpack.

" Go get ready for school and get your brother and sister up . I'm going to walk by myself today . " I told him and he said a simple " Okay " before I left out .

The water helped a little bit and talking to Jayjay helped too . I have to get him out of that house he's only a kid . He doesn't need to grow up in a sick environment like that . But where would we go ?? And how the fuck would we get out ?? As I walked to school I let my thoughts wander . My head was spinning and I really wasn't feeling good at all . I don't know what was wrong with me but I kept it pushing . I walked into school and went straight to my locker . I planned on keeping my head low today . I just don't have it on me to interact wit people today . I made my way to first hour and I was feeling a little dizzy . I bumped into something and stumbled back but the person caught me .