His broken beauty (a Luke Hemmings fanfic)

Regrets, and realizations

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Ok so I know I took a while to update this, but my family just moved three states away and Ive spent most of the week unpacking. And we just got the internet hooked up today... THANK GOODiNESS!!!!!

Anyway, um if anyone has any suggestions comment...

Song of the week is 'Stay awake' by All Tome Low

So enjoy, and try not to cry.

TRIGGER WARNING!!!!!!!!!!!!

BTW for anyone who cares I am here for anyone who ever needs to talk.

Heathers pov

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I looked around the empty rooms making sure that I had everything. I had already checked everything in the bedroom and was walking towards the bath. I didnt notice that I was shaking until I felt under the ledge of the cabinet moving my hand left and right, back and forth trying desperatly to find the blade that I knew I had left there. I muttered a quiet, aha, to myself as my fingers grazed the cool metal object. Peeling back the tape and holding it up. I couldnt stop the flash backs once they started. Every tear, every break down, every cut, they had all happened here in this bathroom with this being one of the many blades that I had used. My hands automatically reached for something to steady myself as I began to sway, but I wasnt quick enough and the next thing I knew I was curled on the floor and my head hurt. I heard shouting as all of the guys came running into the small room. Lukes worried face was immediately next to mine as his arms wrapped around me. I felt someone prying at my hand as I grasped the blade even tighter, wincing as i cut into my palm. "Baby, you need to let it go," I heard Luke trying to reason with me as I held my hand with the blade to my chest. "I-i cant," I sobbed into his neck. I felt so weak. Instead of trying again to get the blade from me I felt someone lifting me off lukes lap. I dont even try to process who it is i just relax into their chest letting everything fade away and just feel the pain of the blade still diggin into my hand. A few moments later I could feel the darkness trying to take over, but I fought. For the first time ever I fought against the darkness that tried to take over my mind. It wasnt for me though, I already knew that. It was for Luke

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Lukes pov

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I feel my stomach turning in knots as I watch Calum carry Heather out to the van hoping that if we could get her out of the appartment she would calm down, and come out of the trance like state that she was stuck in. Me, Ash, and Mikey rush around grabbing the few bags of stuff that Heather had and threw them quickly into the van. I grab the small bag that held her small amount of first aid supplies when I notice that Cal had managed to get the blade away from Heather and was using Ashtons bandanna to stop the bleeding. I crawl into the small backseat wedging myself between the pair and the seat in front of them as I dig in the bag finding a towel, and a very small roll of gauze. "Well, this will have to work until we get back to the bus," I murmur quietly as I gently wrap her hand. I see her eyes trying so hard to stay open. "Babe you can rest, ok. Well take care of you I swear." Cal murmurs into her ear gently and I can see her still trying to fight it as she leaned over to grab my hand. 'Dont leave me,' she whispered quietly as I grasped her hand tightly. I climbed up into the seat next to Calum, and watched as her eyes fluttered closed. God I knew I shouldnt have left her alone in that damn place. I broke the one fucking promise that I had made her, and it ended in her getting hurt. I looked at heather as she curled quietly against Cals chest. I wanted so bad to just carry her away to some secluded house where I could take care of her without worries. However, I knew that reality would just continue. So instead I settled with sitting next to her, and making sure that she was comfortable during the ride back to the bus.

When we arrived back at the bus I gently wrapped my arms around Heather and carried her to the lounge before laying her down on the small sofa and asking Cal to watch her while I found one of the paramadics that would be walking around the venue. I was shaking and breathing hard when I finally dragged the medic into our bus. He immidiatly began to examine Heathers hand, before asking us to go in the other room so he could work in peace. We reluctantly walked into the back lounge and Ash was at my side instantly telling me that it wasnt my fault. But I knew that it was. If I hadnt left her alone she wouldnt be hurt right now. I could feel the tears begin to stream down my face. Why did I have to be so freaking stupid? "LUKE HEMMINGS," I heard someone yell as they began shaking my shoulder. "Huh, wha," I mumbled as I looked over at Mikey who was now sitting on the couch across from me. "The medic just said you could go in once you calm down. Ashtons already in there, but shes asking for you." He said calmly picking his phone up again. I walked quickly into the front lounge to see Heather leaning against Ashton playing with the gauze wrapped around her hand. She tried to smile when she looked at me, but it lacked all emotion. It was like looking at the shell of the girl I loved. "C'mere baby." I said calmly as I sat next to her arms open. She cautiously climbed into my lap, and practically callapsed into my chest. I just sat there holding her thinking about what might have happened had we left her for any longer. I tightened my arms around her as I felt her cling tighter to me, and saw the tears streaming down her face. On the other hand I was beyond glad that she would NEVER have to return to that horrid place. All of the things that we had packed were being sorted through by Calum, and what ever was thrown away we would take her shopping soon and replace. "Shh, baby Ive got you. Ok, youre ok now, we never have to go back to that wretched place." I mumbled into her hair as she began to relax against me. And after a few minutes her breathing evened out signalling that she was asleep. "Ok, so basically she has a shallow gash inside her hand. I have cleaned and disinfected it before wrapping it. Ill be sure and bring some more dressing to rewrap it later. I also gave her a small amount of morphine, it will relieve the pain and help her sleep for a little while. " the medic said quietly to everyone. Then he turned to me, "next time just be a little more cautious, ok. I can tell she really cares about you, but shes VERY shook up from whatever happened." I could feel my cheeks burning as I thanked him, willing away the tears that threatened to spill.

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We all decided to just order a pizza and watch movies for the rest of the day. A few hours later Niall came into the bus asking if we wanted to go eat with him, but we quietly declined as Heather was still asleep in my lap. He looked questioningly at the two of us and his eyes got wide as he saw the gauze on her hand. He stepped towards us without saying anything and got on his knees before placing a gentle kiss on her hand and then her head before saying, "if you guys ever need anything, or if she needs anything let me know. Ill help in any way i can." I just smiled in admiration and quietly thanked him, before watching him leave. A few minutes later I felt Heather begin to fidget a bit, and after a bit her beautiful brown eyes were staring into mine, and I could see the admiration and love in them as she snuggled closer in my arms. I knew I would never be able to live wihout her.