The Moon Illuminates Us

Chapter 6: Void

 It’s 10:28 am and I’ve been spending the morning staring at my ceiling. My father left last night and my mother only came to my door to mumble more apologies before disappearing into her own room.  I’ve cried more than I’ve slept, my stomach grumbles in hunger but I can’t seem to find the strength to get up. How could have things gone so wrong? Why didn’t I see that something was wrong earlier? I’m still locked in my room when someone starts loudly knocking our front door. I turn over in my bed not wanting to deal with company but the knocking is relentless!

“Is it really too much to ask for a little peace and quiet!” I scream in frustration because my unwelcome guest won’t let me wallow in my grief. The knocking stops and I sigh thinking that the person has gone. My phone starts to ring and I stare at it for a couple of seconds deciding whether or not to answer it. I pick up the phone choosing to answer it.

“Hey where’d you go? I’ve been knocking on your door for the past couple of minutes.” Katie queries through my phone.

“So you’re the culprit behind the relentless knocking.” I sass.

“Whoa, what’s with the attitude?” Katie replies. I’m crying before I realize it, I swipe at my tears and clear my throat. My attitude shames me, Katie doesn’t know any of the events of last night and I should at least let her know the truth.

“I’m coming to the door just stay there.” I quaver and slowly move down the stairs.

“Okay…” Katie answers uncertainly. I finally reach the front door, I take a minute to pull myself together and take a deep breath. My hand shakily reaches for the locked door handle, it freezes midway and I quickly pull my hand back. My eyes squeeze shut and I take two steps away from the door. I’m breaking inside… I clench my fists and grit my teeth. Rubbing my face, I blink away tears as I grapple with my inner thoughts telling me to run back to the security of my room. I turn away from the door trying to collect myself. I stand there in the foyer in silence, trying to figure out how to tell Katie everything and struggle to keep still instead of running away. I look back over my shoulder at the front door and mentally shake myself. I can’t be a coward Katie has to know! She’s my best friend… and I have to do this if I want to step forward like I promised myself last night. I reach for the handle a second time, finally opening the door and find a smiling Katie standing in a pale blue summer dress.

“Hey! What took so long I was…” Katie begins. When she sees me the smile falls off and she drops the bag of snacks she brought with her. Her expression turns into one of deep concern and she slowly approaches, the bag forgotten.

“What happened?” She asks. My eyes are still red rimmed from last night, I’m still in my PJs and my hair is disheveled.

“You might want to grab that bag, our neighbors from across the street have a dog that likes to take things that don’t belong to him.” I chide her and avoid her question. She frowns at me and I sigh again, this time I mostly answer the question.

“A lot, come inside this is going take a while.” I answer and gesture for her to follow me. Katie goes back for the snack bag and hurries in after me. We sit on the white, plush couch in the sunlit living room. The couch sinks deeply as Katie and I take our seats, the soft fabric brushes my skin and my nose catches the faint scent of lavender. My eyes prick at the memory of my mother pouring lavender oil on the cushions during her cleaning routine. My eyes then wander to the dark, wooden frames on the oversized fireplace. There are pictures of me, anniversary and vacation pictures of my parents and even a picture of me in elementary school. The family living room that once felt so warm and inviting now exudes stark emptiness. I glance over at the dining table noticing that the chair my father sat in is still pulled out. My home is not my home anymore...I shiver at the reminder of last night’s hostility. Katie takes my limp hands in hers and I jump from the contact.