Soul of the Sky (HTTYD Runaway Fic)

Who I Used to Be

Previously, on Soul of the Sky,
I gasped in sudden shock, staring at the Dragon Master. All this time we'd searched for Hiccup, and he'd been right next to us. 'Magnus' looked like Hiccup...

Because he was.

Astrid
"Hiccup?" I gasped, unable to speak. He turned in confusion, then realised. "Oh no."
"Astrid? What are you talking about?" Snotlout asked. Fishlegs was staring at the Dragon Master - Hiccup. "Oh my Thor, she's right." Suddenly, a light came on in the other three's face. Hiccup cursed loudly in Dragonese. "This is what I was hoping to avoid."

"So all this time we were looking for you, and you were right here? AND YOU JUST PLAYED ALONG WITH IT?" I yelled, on the edge of hysteria. "You were missing for SIX YEARS! We thought you were dead! Why didn't you come back?" Hiccup's expression darkened, looking for a moment like the sadness in his eyes when he thought no one was watching six years ago. "I didn't belong. I was just a disappointment, a liability, a hiccup. Berk didn't need me or want me, even Dad hated me for letting him down. The only person who cared what happened to me was Toothless, and I nearly killed him!"

"Maybe we cared." Fishlegs whispered, his voice filled with pain. "Maybe we didn't dare show it."
Silence. No one spoke for a minute.

"How did it happen?" I asked quietly. Hiccup sat down against the wall, brushing his hair irritatedly out of his face. That little gesture was so Hiccup that I almost smiled. But the way he'd changed washed that feeling away. Where was the sweet, adorable boy who'd been so enthusiastic about everything? Where was the kid who geeked out with Fishlegs, whose shy smiles had made my heart skip a beat? This sarcastic, confident warrior wasn't the Hiccup I remembered. That Hiccup could barely lift a sword, let alone throw a tree branch like it weighed nothing!

"It started in that raid." he eventually answered. "When I said I had shot down a Night Fury, I wasn't lying. That dragon was Toothless. I found him later in the cove, and was going to kill him.  I wanted to make my father proud. But his eyes stopped me. I looked into them, and I saw myself. He was just as afraid as I was. Just as lonely as I was. I couldn't kill him, so I freed him instead. He almost turned me into ashes, but didn't. I learned later that he'd seen himself in my eyes too." He smiled briefly in reminiscence. "I spent all those afternoons in the cove with Toothless. I made him a saddle, and a new tail, and we flew together. It was the most amazing thing I'd ever experienced. After I topped Dragon Training, I knew I wouldn't be able to kill the Nightmare. Hookfang, in case you didn't realise. So I ran."

"You ran because you were scared?" Snotlout sneered. In his shock at Hiccup's return, he'd reverted to his old pattern. Hiccup glared at him. "I ran because I know where I'm not wanted. That's just what pushed me over the edge." That stung. "Aw, the little fishbone is scared." Snotlout teased, pretending he hadn't heard Hiccup's statement. Six years ago, Hiccup would have acted like everything was okay, that it hadn't hurt. But that was then. This is now.
In one swift movement, Hiccup slammed Snotlout against the wall. "Do not test me, Snotlout Jorgenson." he hissed through his teeth, pinning the smaller Viking with one hand. Snotlout's feet weren't touching the floor, but he still had to look up to meet Hiccup's eyes. The 'worst Viking on Berk' was now a force to be reckoned with.

He dropped Snotlout, returning to his position against the wall. Everyone was silent, staring at him in a combination of surprise and terror. That unexpected outburst had proved it. Hiccup wasn't the person he used to be.
He was fidgeting with his sleeve, pulling on the seam. After a few yanks, the stitching came loose. There were small metal...toothpicks?...sewn into the fabric. "Viggo missed something." he muttered in satisfaction. "What are those?" Fishlegs asked. "Lock picks." Hiccup responded, fiddling with the padlock on the cage door.

To my surprise, the door swung open. "We can talk about the last six years later. We need to rescue the others." Hiccup announced, already halfway up the ladder. "What others?" Tuffnut questioned. Hiccup facepalmed. "The dragons! Now come on."