Time

Twelve

Rick was right, it did start to rain. I dreaded going back to my place; it would be dark and cold, and there’d be nothing to do but cry alone. But there was no where else to go, it’s not like I could walk back to the restaurant and pick up mine and David’s conversation on football. I was a few blocks away from my flat when I just broke down and cried. I couldn’t keep it in any longer; all these feelings that I kept buried deep inside of me were finally being released. My eyes burned and I had to stop walking, and lean against a street light. Why did I feel this way about Roger? Why did I have to love him? He was all I’d ever wanted; he was the man of my dreams. I’d never been in love before, and before I met Roger, I don’t think I’d even believed in love. Roger changed me; he made me see the world through new eyes and made me believe in the impossible.

             I heard footsteps behind me and felt a hand on my shoulder, it startled me, I swung around to see Roger standing in the rain with me. “I couldn’t really be him” I thought, “My head is playing a cruel trick on me…”

“Meg,” he said, “What are you doing?”

I looked into his very real eyes, sniffed, and wiped the tear from my eyes, “I could ask you the same thing,” I said.

He didn’t move, but he looked distraught, “Have you been… crying?” he asked.

The rain began to pour down on us, but we didn’t budge. I didn’t answer his question. His eyes were still focused on me, “I thought you were with David…”

“And I thought you were with Jude,” I said trying to keep myself together.

He completely disregarded what I’d just said, “Why aren’t you with him?”

I shook my head and put my hands up to my face, “I couldn’t do it, Roger.”

His eyes didn’t break from me, but I couldn’t look at him, I was ashamed of how hysterical I was becoming. I looked at the empty streets around us, we truly were alone. My heart was beating fast and I couldn’t think straight; funny how heartbreak is.

            Roger took a few steps towards me, “Why?” he asked. I held my breath, trying to come up with the words I wanted to say to him, but I couldn’t. “Because I love you,” I said. I had those words buried away in my head and in my heart for sometime now, and it was the first time even I had heard them come out. I wasn’t surprised with what I’d done, with what I’d said; I’d wanted to say that the day I met him. I so desperately wanted to tell him that I couldn’t picture life without him and that I wanted to spend the rest of my life in his arms, but it wasn’t that easy, it never is.

            “Meg-“ Roger began, but I cut him off, “You don’t have to say anything Roger, I know.” I turned from him and began walking towards my flat again, holding my hand on my heart, trying to stay strong. Roger darted in front of me and put his hand on my face; he closed his eyes, and kissed me. I felt as if I wasn’t tethered to the ground anymore. I’d never experienced anything so surreal or magical in my life. I felt his had run through my wet hair, and I wrapped both of my arms around him. Rain continued to fall down on us as Roger slowly pulled away, “I’d been waiting to do that for a long time,” he quietly said to me, his hands still on my face, “I love you, Meg.”

            We made it back to my place; we shut the door behind us and stared pealing off our soaking wet clothes. He kissed me on the lips, and slowly worked his way down to my chest. I never thought that I’d ever experience this moment, and couldn’t even dream it would be anything like this. His body was warm and touch was gentle. I closed my eyes and it all felt like a fantasy, nothing in the world even came within miles of this feeling, “I love you, Meg,” Roger whispered. “I love you too, Roger.” I whispered back.