Paint Splats

Find You

Two days ago...

"Killian..." I choke on the words. "Killian..."

He blinks at me and cocks his head to the side, smiling and taking my hand. "What is it, Pumpkin?"

He'd taken to calling me that. Pumpkin. He said it was because I looked like the autumn. Brown hair, brown eyes, always wearing dull colors. 

"Killian... I'm pregnant." His face quickly turns negative. He stiffens and his face straightens. 

"Okay. Okay. Okay. Alright. Fuck! FUCK! FUCK," he says to himself. He puts his head in his hands and I hear him choke on a sob. "I'm sorry, Beth. I'm so sorry I did this to you."

"Hey, it's not for sure yet," I inform him and rub his back. 

"You will forget you ever met me. You will forget everything about me. You will forget me." Killian waves his hand in front of me and snaps his fingers and---

Darkness...

Suffocate...

Drowning...

Water...

Present time...

Alex leans in the threshold, listening to my horrible off-key voice and trying not to laugh. The song changes and he saunters up to me, holding out his hand and smirking at me.

"Alright, mommy. May I have this dance?" I giggle and take his hand.

Mommy? The fuck?

He twirls me around the room as we sing along to "You Will Be Found". 

"Even when the dark comes crashing through / When you need a friend to carry you / And when you're broken on the ground / You will be found."  I stare into his eyes and my heart melts, drenching my body in a liquid fire as my face flushes red.  

And when the song ends, my back is arched and he's staring at me intently. "I... Elizabeth, should you ever be lost..." He takes a dramatic pause, emphasizing his serious point. "I will always, always find you. Always. No matter what."

His breath catches when I run my hand down his back, resting at his waist.

"Elizabeth..."

I tip my head upward near his ear, pushing up on my toes. "I like it when you call me that... Elizabeth."

"Panda... But you're..." He looks pained, his hands clenched at his sides as if holding back.

"I'm what?" I wind my arms around his neck and lean my head back a bit. "It's not as though I'm dating someone."

"But you... the other day... in the bathroom... you... What?" Now he looks flustered.

"That wasn't a big deal. So what? You walked in on me crying on the bathroom floor. I was just a little bit depressed. No reason. And that was earlier today. I mean... It's friday right?" He stares at me like I've forgotten something. 

"You weren't just depressed... Lizzy, you told me you were pregnant... I saw the test in the sink... And... and it's Monday..." 

"But... But I don't remember any days passing..."

"Did he do something to you?"

"Who?"

"Your boyfriend... What was his name... Killian?"

"Who the fuck is that?"

"Your boyfriend."

"I don't have a boyfriend. I would've told you if  I did a long time ago."

"But then... who got you pregnant?"

"I'M PREGNANT?!" I scream at him. "I'M PREGNANT AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW IT?!"

This is confusing. I'm pregnant? I had a boyfriend? I've forgotten the last three days? What else have I forgotten? What else has been blocked from my brain? How long back does this go?

"I think it's time to take another test..."

Test...

Pregnancy test...

Please...