I dare you | Tommy Eaton

⇨ Oh, Miss Believer↵

  ･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧  

January 15th 1984

first journal entry

                                        after two years of talking about moving, trying to move, fixing my parents relationship, my parents trying to fix me, we finally got here.  Its nothing, its probably the most boring town i've ever been in.  Its only my first day, and my parents got in a fight over boxes to bring in first.  We are all packed up, and im sitting on my bed as i write this.  Its a pretty big house, and my room is actually pretty fucki freaking big.  im writing in pen.  i dont care actually, fuck it.  my room is acutally pretty fucking big, and i have my posters all over the wall and it kind of feels like home.  its the middle of january and the school year, so my mom is making me do the online program until my 11th grade year.  yikes i know.  im in 10th grade.  a loser.  ugh why am i even writing in this... we drove around town for a little while, examining the town.  we met the police officers and the mayor and some of the people that lived here.  they all seemed nice but... boring.  in cali everyone was badass and was crazy but ipswich oregon?  not a casino in sight... which was okay.  i guess.  there are definitely kids in the neighborhood my age, one tried to come up to the door but i slammed the door in his face.  it was ugly.  i can see him right now from across the street, sitting on his bed.  the streets are small, and for some reason everyone has their windows open so people can see them clearly?? his glasses are ugly.  where are the cute people?  im scared that my parents will start arguing again, its only been a few hours since they argued.  they arent as bad they were two years ago when i told them what a life they had made for me.  oh yeah, apparently my dad has cheated before.  about a year after i was born.  so uh... i have a sister?  a half sister?  and i found this out by her calling my dad like last week and i picked up instead and apparently her step dad is in jail and her mom kicked her out of the house and she wants to come live with us.  great, just another reason for my parents to fight...

March 22nd 1984

14th journal entry

                                       andddd the bitch is living with us.  my mom and dad are back to arguing 24/7, mom hates her.  shes also like a year younger than me and shes so PETTY.  my mom avoids her, and every time my dad mentions her and her mom my mom just starts screaming and crying.  she came in my room last night while they were screaming.  i jumped and told her to get the hell out of my room.  actually ill just write out what our conversation was.  by the way her name is kassie.  ew.

kassie; do they usually argue like this?

me; they used to, about two years ago i showed them that they needed to stop and they sort of listened, they didn't argue as much

kassie; when did it start up again?

me; you

kassie; what do you mean

me; my mom is pissed off because he cheated and your just making it worse

kassie; im sorry, it wasn't my fault

me; did you have to come here? just when i finally got a break, its like ptsd from two years ago and i feel like im going back in time

kassie; what do you mean

she tried to sit on my bed but i smacked her and she got off, i think she got the memo that i'm a bitch

me; because of my parents aruging i channeled my anger through... some other things

kassie; what kind of things?

she tried to sit on my bed again, i smacked her again

me; get off my bed.  you ruined my life you dont deserve to sit on my bed

kassie; but what kind of things

me; smoking, drinking, and other worse things.  things so bad that it would make you have nightmares

kassie; im only a year younger than you im not five you can tell me

me; oh ahahha sure now get out of my room

she wouldn't leave so i had to push her out, and then familiar feeling of feeling trapped came and i turned my music all the way up and closed my eyes.  now, i feel like im 12 again

 June 12th 1984

26th journal entry

                                      its finally summer.  finally fucking summer.  i can slam my pencil down on my paper from homeschool and open my window.  i didn't have much contact with the outisde.  other than sneaking out and buying boos with kassie's money that i found in her room one day.  oh yeah, i still hate her.  she still doesn't understand why and still tries to be my friend but after 3 months of trying to do so, it just made me hate her even more.  my parents are exactly the same as they were two years before, so there was nothing new to my life other than a new town.  new town, new friends.  maybe there were kids who could do worse than in cali.  actually thats impossible.  i actually just snorted.  i cannot believe i actually just wrote that.  the kids in this town would be nothing compared to the kids in cali.  they are wimps.  but, the only person that is actually interested in getting my attention is that asshole ugly as glasses boy from across the street.  hes constantly looking at my window, probably wondering why im not like the rest of this fucking town and open my window.  thats just creepy.  although, last night i saw a bunch of flashlights outside and saw like 20 boys outside playing my favorite game.  i was a beast a man hunt.  no one can ever find me, and theres not a game where i was finding people where i haven't left one missing.  i find every one of them.  one day, im going to to out, scare those pussies and destroy them in man hunt.  then, maybe that creep would stop staring at my house.  its starting to get hella creepy.  actually. scratch that, not oNe dAy, im going to go out tonight if they are playing. and im going to destroy those pussies.  and then i can be at rest.  great plan.  great plan.... 

  ･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧