Behind my smile (UNDER EDITING.)

Behind my smile (3)

"Mum! Mum! We're going to be late!" I run down the stairs into the kitchen grabbing an apple as I stare at my mum her just sitting there sipping coffee. "Mum what the heck?! We're going to be late for school!".

She rolls her eyes at me, making me feel a weird knot in my stomach. The nightmare is coming back from yesterday, everything she said just went into my mind. "Hayley I'm not dropping you off today, Your walking".

"Walking?! Are you crazy! The school is like an hour away! Imagine me walking there! Mum are you serious?" I half yell feeling like my sudden outburst isn't because of my mum--no it's because the way she treated me.

I'm scared it will be like the nightmare I had last night.

I know, two in a row? How fantastic. Sarcasm. It was horrible, it was scary and I just wanted to cry then and there. "Hayley I'm joking! I'm not going to make you walk there, you're going with Annie and Hayden".

I huff nodding my head my eyes reaching the clock as my eyes widen, I'm 15 minutes late imagine how long it would take for me to get there.
"We have to go!now!".

I give my mum the Apple sense I didn't feel hungry, I run outside seeing Hayden and Annie already in there, wow could've woke me up.

I shut the door sighing loudly as Hayden chuckles at me, I don't even respond I didn't feel like it. I just didn't feel like it. Everything seemed..not okay.

I can't smile.

I'm hurt and slowly dying, I feel crying and screaming I feel mental like I'm going crazy and everything I'm seeing is fake, but it feels so real.
"Hayley, you okay?" Hayden asks.

"Yeah..I'm fine".

He stares at me before sighing and going back to driving, plugging headphones into my ears I look as the tress and the world passes by.

Even the trees will die someday, every single person walking on this earth is but they just don't know when.

I'm going to die too.

•••
Skip to after school, she's sleeping.

"N-no leave him alone!please leave her--AHHHH" I scream out in pain when I feel the knife go right inside of me for the hundredth time but I'm just not dying. "P-please leave her alone".

They don't even answer me I can't even see there faces, I can only see any sitting there in the middle of the floor as her hands are handcuffed to the ceiling and her feet are stuck into the floor as she screams out my name over and over again. "HAYLEY-AHH".

"No no, leave her alone!" I wiggle out my own handcuffs as she screams as they put hot water on her perfect skin. "Do It to me! Not her!".

"It hurts it hurts... I.tt...hurts" She mumbles over and over again as I kick trying to get out of my cuffs.
"Help me...".

I watch as the blood drips down from the side of her head, her eyes blinking a lot as her mouth is hung open. She twitches as her head falls back the blood now dripping into the floor and all over her clothes.

"N-no!ANNIE ANNIE PLEASE WAKE UP I CAN'T LOSE YOU TWO!! ANNIE PLEASE" my voice cracks at the end when I realise she's really dead on her own puddle of blood. " I hate you I hate everyone!".

I scream when I feel a sting right through my heart, I suck in a deep breath my eyes widening as I stare at the smirking boy in front of me.

The one who killed my sister, and me. The bullet shoots right through me as I cough out blood, spitting on the boy's face as he laughs and licks it off.

"Y-you".

"I what?".

"You ki-iled my sister!" I close my eyes my legs feeling weak as but I can't fall due to the handcuffs so my head falls back.

Finding myself in the darkness again as I hear him chuckle. "Goodnight hay hay".

It was him, the person I would never thought be behind the gun is behind the gun and shoot me and my sister.

And that person was...

My own brother.

•••

My eyes open as I cough over and over again feeling this weird thing in the pit of my stomach.

I put my hands over my mouth as I try and hold back the sobs, my eyes widen when I feel this thing come up my mouth as I run to the toilet opening the seat and throwing my guts out.

When I finally finish I wipe my mouth with a piece of tissue as I flash the toilet, dropping next to my draws my head banging against it as my sobs fall out of my mouth hoping no one wakes up.

This is the worst dream I've ever had, I cry my eyes out hiccuping at the same time, as the muffle with sobs.
"No..no..help me, someone, please".

I felt like I'm was suffocating like there's someone holding me round mt neck chocking the air out of me.

"N-no no pleases-som-someone help me".

I bang my head over and over again against the draws as I feel light-headed, closing my eyes shut.

I need to leave.

I need to go, I have to fly away.

I'm dying, and not just 'dying inside' I'm dying from the outside as well, all the live-in me is all gone.

I have to leave.

And soon.

•••

This broke me.

I literally had to turn my phone off and had a mental breakdown as I was imagining being in Hayley place and how I lost someone important to me :(

It hurts, really does...

Bye sisters