Caged In

Chapter One

The young adolescent's eyes peeled open as she awoke at the break of dawn. Elisia was exhausted. She always felt worn out with very little to bring a splash of colour and enticement into her life. Her eyes drifted on their own accord.

BEEP-BEEP BEEEEP! BEEP-BEEP BEEEEP! The blaring of an alarm roused the red head into conciousness yet again. This is stupid. There's no point being awake. Just go back to sleep. These thoughts plagued her mind regularly, instigated by her low moods. As her mind became unclear and began dozing she was suddenly startled by her own realisation, after all Elisia had an exam at school that day and her other assignment was also due. I'm going to be late!

Negativity suddenly barraged her and took over her thoughts as she rushed to prepare herself for her day at highschool. You're so useless. You can't even manage to get up early enough. This is why you're so dumb. You're stupidity is going to make you fail your exam and assignment. You're an idiot for not getting up the first time.

Elisia was overcome by an overwhelming wave of misery and frustration. Belittlement from her own ego continued the assault every time she messed up and increased the feeling of worthlessness at her incompetency and incapability. Brushing her hair she suddenly started crying as the reflection looked back at her. Tie it up. It looks terrible down. The ponytail is uneven and wonky. Having it that low makes your head and face look terrible. You're not as beautiful as the other girls at school. Not just physically. You're so negative. It's no wonder no one really likes you for who you are. She lashed out and punched the wall beside it then went on to pound her forehead and thighs.

Why won't it stop? Elisia tried to challenge her thoughts occasionally, but she believes the things said deep down. She wished she didn't. She doesn't like lying or denying the truth, not even to herself, hence being the reason why she allows the harsh words and phrases to take refuge in her brain. The sadness consumes her some days.

Staring into the mirror she observed herself. She loved her eyes. One of the only parts of her she couldn't find anything to criticise, aside from the empty depths in them; the lack of joy. They were a light shade of grey with a yellow rim surrounding her pupil. Some people mistook her for having blue eyes. She knew she didn't have blue eyes. Her best friend does. The gorgeous light sea-blue eyes are matched up perfectly with his brown hair and lean yet bulky figure. She did a once over of herself again. Unlike me, she thought.

Her wide feet made her feel very unlike a petite lady, rather more like a troll or ogre. She hated the amount of hair she grew on places other than her head, however was grateful for the light colour the set of fur took on. She always appreciated her ability to remain at an average level of fitness without having to partake in a large amount of physical activity, but she was becoming more and more overly concious of her weight. She didn't like how short, stubby and stout her legs are. You look fat because of them. You need to stop eating so much. You're selfish and greedy for being unappreciative of the food that you recieve and many others don't. A dejected sigh heavily trudged up from her lungs and out through her lips.

The curve of her back confused her. One minute it would make her feel sexy, the next she suddenly viewed it as weird, alien-like and highly unattractive. It made her favourite skater skirts sit on her hips funny and make the front appear longer than the back. Why does it look so gross on me? It would look better if I were tall, straight and pretty with long legs and nice hair. She was often conflicted when it came down to her body image and how she viewed herself. With yet another heavy sigh she looked at herself in her uniform with her bag on her back then turned and made her half an hour walk to school.

A/N:
Hey guys, writing my first proper story (one that I finally think is pretty decent). Yay *unenthusiastic hand jazz*. Updates will be slow and unscheduled due to me only writing when I'm feeling it, y'know? So try not to expect frequent updates. Might upload one every month or so? Yeeeeaah sounds semi-accurate lol. Dont be afraid to shoot me up (not literally, please). I sometimes (most times) don't feel like talking or socially interacting so try not to take it personally if I (when I) don't respond. I'll probably get around to you, eventually. I'm a senior in high school too so that will probably affect how frequently I update too. I don't plan on making a career out of this so the book will probably be on here for like as long as wattpad is around. I also probably won't have too many author notes around so... yeah. Anyway, enjoy.