Yaaram - Always & Forever

6.

Once in a while, do a quick reality check, for no one knows how all of a sudden life will knock you down. It pretty much loved to do that to me, it might do to you as well. I was speechless with what I heard a minute back. I really never expected this from them. Kashan and Kaif are my best friends, but that doesn't mean they have rights to play with my emotions.

Or may be everyone here thinks they have that right?

At these times I feel the need of my sister. That bitch didn't even think about me. And now is ruining my life by not being in it. If she would have been here, maybe today the situation would have been different.

When I went downstairs to give Kaif his muffler that he had forgotten in my room, I heard him thank Kashan. Kaif never takes help from anyone. He either does everything by himself or command others, but taking favors is not his cup of tea.

I stood there dumbfounded watching the whole scene when all of a sudden he hugged Kashan.

"Brother, if not for you... I don't think I would have seen her smile again. Thanks for listening to me and speaking to her. She really needed you." Kaif said. I felt the floor beneath my feet vanish as Kashan didn't even bothered to respond to him.

"It's worth the deal. Thanks for helping me skip that meeting. Well, I think it was a good idea to tell elders I want to spend time with Waraina just to skip that meeting." he said before picking up his ringing cell phone.

"Coffee?" Kaif asked.

"No, thanks." he replied after carefully examining Zamaira's cup.

Ever wondered why I curse Zamaira for every little thing? No? I don't care, I'll share that anyway.

My story started 3 years back, right before the elections for the state government change. My Dad, Guffar Abdul Raza had a really strong chance to win... He was destined to be the ruler because of his hard work and care for the common people. His party though was searching for a way to get him out because of his over enthusiast will to work "For the People".

I was never the one interested in politics, for me, my life was limited to Zamaira api who was just a year older than me and Kashan who too happened to be 2 years older than me. Kaif though was same as his age. I was more close to Kashan than to the other two yet when Usman uncle decided to take up the education sector and asked Dad to assure him that nobody else can take his opportunity, they decided to join their hands and family.

Dad offered to marry Zamaira to Kashan on the condition that if they win the election this year and declair the state free and under their rule, then his successor would be Zamaira and not Kashan but he will have the business sector.

Zamaira did had a lot of interest in politics and so dad thought it would be a great idea but the lovely lady decided to flee as soon as the news reached her ears.

Well, nothing would have harmed even then but some son of a bitch leaked the news and as Zamaira was a strong part of Dad's political affairs, he was asked to leave his post.

The people knew he didn't had any sons, so they asked him to name a man who'll take his place in the next election and was boycotted from that years election.

After a lot of thinking Dad and Usman uncle came to the conclusion that Kashan will take his place without even consulting with him.

Though everyone knew Kaif deserved it more but as Aftab uncle was not there to speak up for him, he lost in the hands of fate and with lost I just don't mean the chance to be a King, but the chance of getting something he loved... The chance of getting me.

Dad wanted to make sure he stays in the political business, so he decided to marry me to Kashan in order to seal the deal so that when 5 years later the election would come, he wanted to make sure the public still supported them.

Kaif was not affected with any of this. He was too spoiled and too busy in his amazing life to give a damn to these affairs. He was disappointed but he never tried to consult anyone.

That's how, Dad got his hope.
Zamaira got her freedom.
Kashan got an unwanted Power,
And I got used as a way to share it between our families.

You must be thinking how does this affect me anyway? I got to stay with the one I loved... Didn't I?

Well, partially. I was still not sure about my feelings for Kashan, but I had a respect in his eyes which I found lost after I agreed to the deal. I actually never agreed, I simply didn't reply. And by the time I could reply, the preparations for our engagement had already started.

Kashan used to like me... He showed all signs, but now a days I'm pretty much sure they were not for me. They were for someone who could have actually got them if she wouldn't have been this selfish.

After offering the Magrib Salah, I came downstairs to check on my parents. Surprisingly we were hosting a party to which I wasn't invited.

Well, I was surprised by the decoration, not by the fact that nobody informed me because this wasn't the first time I wasn't even on the guest list, It's been this way for quite some years now. I went back to my room not even bothering to inquire any further.

I have always been taught to be patient, to be calm and firm, but I don't know who taught me to be ignorant. I could go on faking smiles for days and people would never notice. I am a master at this.

"Waraina Bibi?" Rubeena Aapa knocked at the door.

"Ji Aapa?" I asked.

"Your in-laws are here. Raza sahab has asked you to come down." she said.

I looked at myself in the mirror and did a quick touch up. Raza Sagan's daughter needs to be perfectly dressed. All these days I have began to feel like a bondage, just working like people want me to, following commands, secretly planning on loving someone but hating him openly and not even trying to think what will my future will look like.

I guess, our future is all a reflection of past except for the regrets and pain of course for love escapes from one door or the other.

*****
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