Why Me?

Chapter Ten

The Agency

I was an outcast here. I was not the only Uni student here, for there were tons, but I was the only model who was also a photographer. Not only was I part of two different groups, both of which didn't believe I belonged with either of them, but I was the thickest girl out of those seen so far. I'm not a chubby person. I considered myself slim standing at five foot eight inches with a weight of ten stone. My thighs touched, I had a slight bump at the bottom of my stomach, and I had rounder hips than the other girls, but I was fit and healthy. I stood out next to the sea of six foot tall graceful things with weights of nine stone. And, yes, they weighed less than me when they stood three inches taller at the least.
I, like most of my life, was alone. I didn't have any friends here as well as at Uni. I was always alone except when I was on jobs or in classes. No one talked to me unless they had or messing with me in Delilah's case. Mark, however, adored me although he never took his adoration further than work.
He called me his favourite model, his little porcelain doll. He told me frequently that I wasn't anywhere near the ideal measurements of a model, but I was the prettiest thing he'd seen in all his days. That being said, I was exclusively a face model, and was frequently used for artistic jobs.
Photography was bland here. I was almost a photo-journalist, photographing at events for the agency or working sessions of my own for magazines. It was all commercial photography, kitsch, and didn't give me any real substance. I relished the times when I got the rare chance to use some real artistic talent on the minimal jobs that asked for it, and I found my time working on work for Wyatt's class was increasing. At this point, I was a clock of photography, model ling, and Uni. I barely had time for much else.
It's been weeks of this, and it was finally creeping into the winter season, slowly but surely. The air was biting. Wind was increasing, temperatures dropping, and clothes were layering all around me. I loved winter, although it required a bit more motivation to exercise. I loved the warm clothes, the crisp smell in the and the hot beverages as the days crept closer and closer to the Christmas holiday, which was the best holiday of them all in my opinion.
I was witnessing the early stages of it right now, staring down from the window of the first floor of the agency at the courtyard of the city below, the trees strewn with bright coloured lights and soft, pretty, decorations. It was lovely, and I couldn't wait for snow to sprinkle down and make it a winter wonderland. I turned, looking over the floor of the agency I frequently occupied.
Like the rest of the building, it was all glass and light. Most walls were glass, but those that weren't still had a thin sheet covering the white painted concrete. This made the whole place seem huge, although it wasn't actually that big in reality. But I wasn't complaining. It was the prettiest place I have ever worked in, light and open everywhere. My favourite part was the thin veil of water extending from the ground floor all the way up to the last bit of height of the building, a spiraling glass stairwell wrapping around it. The place was a chic and modern, but a warm and beautiful dream at the same time. We didn't even have to have specific sets for photography, because we could find any setting for shoots around the building itself.
My eyes fell on a session in action at the moment, a beautiful tall, thin, girl with soft natural hair, dark skin complimented by a clean and silky white dress, and piercing eyes posing in front of the waterfall of water and light on the very floor I was on. I watched, entranced, as she moved as if she were dancing, the photographer as if the camera was controlling him. It was a waltz, one two three... one two three...
A movement from the stairs caught my attention, and I watched as Mark came into view. He grinned at me, shining like a star as usual, and as another figure came up behind him. Green eyes met mine, burning.
My heart started beating harder as I stared at my professor, the one I haven't seen in a week, walk towards me, black hair fuller than before and eyes more intense than I remembered. I was more enchanted than I was from the photo session, feeling a sense of calm wash over me as if an addiction craving had been satisfied. I turned my eyes, forced them, from Wyatt to my boss' face as he finally came up to me, his grin radiating.
"Noelle, my beautiful porcelain doll! Look who is here! We were just out for a lunch and I invited him to come along and check out how you've been fairing here. surprised he's even concerned. He's never even recommended a student to me. You are one special flower," Mark rambled quickly, twirling some of my hair around his fingers before turning on his heel and gesturing for Wyatt and I to follow. Wyatt gave me a smile as we obeyed. I avoided looking straight at him, smiling politely nonetheless. "You know, I miss the days when Wyatt worked here. We were interning together, you know, and he could have easily taken over the business, but he decided to leave. I was second best compared to so they gave the place to me. I'm not complaining, not at all, but having you, Noelle, here reminds me of having him here. He was so quiet and smart, and no one really messed with him. You're just shy and awkward, but he was the same sarcastic and rude ass that he is today."
"Mark," Wyatt warned, his voice sending chills down my spine. I forgot how it sounded, how it vibrated in his throat and how calming and steady it was. I glanced at him, causing him to glance at me. I quickly looked from his mesmerizing eyes, a light blush on my face and my heart still pounding.
"Sorry for rambling. awfully excited that Wyatt is here again. He's only one who would ever even be able to compare to me," he said. He glanced back at me, gesturing 'modestly.' "Not to sound egotistical, but I know my talent."
He turned back forward as we approached the stairs leading to the second floor. I wrinkled my brow, tucking hair behind my ear and glancing past him up the stairwell.
"I thought we were going to show him my work-'
"Yes, we keep all files of all employees on the third floor where HR and all those guys camp Mark explained, jogging up the steps. Wyatt and I exchanged a look, a mixture of exhaustion and amusement, and ran up after him together. lt was a good thing we both were mountain climbers. otherwise we would have passed out by now from trying to compete with all the energy Mark had bundled up in his frame. He was shouting now. "Maya! Maya!'
"Jesus, Mark, can't you just wait till you're on the same floor?" a British female voice said from above. I looked up past the veil of water at a girl leaning over the railing on the third floor, brow knitted and pieces of Raven hair slipping out from a messy and fast bun pinned at the back of her head. I couldn't help but noticed that she was the first girl l'd seen who had a similar frame to mine.
"I'm just excited, Maya! Can you get out Noelle Guascato's file so Wyatt can look at it?" he shouted continuing to jog up while angling his head to look at her. I was scared he was going to trip, rushing after him and watching just in case he did. Wyatt was at my heels. We were rounding on the stairs leading up to Maya herself.
"Oh, Wyatt is here? Hey, Mac Neill!" she said with a grin as we rounded into her sight. Wyatt waved, grinning back, and accepted her hug as we finally reached the top of the levels. I stood back, a strained smile plastered on my face as I watched the hug drag on for a few seconds before they separated. I tried not to look so tense, but apparently no one really noticed anyway. Was I this awkward all the time? Lord...
"Maya, you've met Noelle Guascato, right? She's a beautiful, wonderful, porcelain doll, machine and I love her," Mark rushed, grabbing my shoulders and pushing me towards her as if showing me off. I awkwardly smiled at Maya, not sure what to Maya gave me an understanding, subtle, look.
"Yeah," I said, laughing and accepting her hand happily. "Nice to meet you, Maya."
"So, are you actually one of Wyatt's students? I don't think l've ever met one of you," Maya said in wonder, her eyes looking over me with curiosity. I nodded, blushing and tucking hair behind my ear shyly.
in his Advanced Photography class, and so grateful for this opportunity," I said, looking to Wyatt with a appreciative smile. He was already watching me, nodding slowly, his expression soft and relaxed. I blushed, looking back to Maya. She was smiling, as if she knew a secret, and nodded once before turning and leading us across the room.
I looked around as we moved, arms crossed over my chest, and stared in wonder at how bright it was up here. This was the top floor, so the ceiling featured windows that let in light from above. Along with the glass letting in more light from all other angles, the light stretched across the floor and sparkled, twinkling before my eyes.
"It's always been beautiful up here," Wyatt said, reading my mind. Maya nodded. I looked around to Mark, knowing he'd have something to say, but finding he was across the floor talking to a small group of more quiet looking people, all unconventional in this building just as I was. I wondered why l'd hadn't seen any of these people in my weeks here.
"Yeah, there is so much light. It's nice and quiet too, away from the fuss below," she said. I nodded, smiling at the calm energy. Maya was glancing at me, smiling knowingly. "We don't have many people up here, and are always ready to welcome more." "Would you be willing to welcome a preforming artist?" Wyatt asked, glancing at me too. Maya smiled as we finally approached a small little corner of the light filled a glass window section that overlooked the almost microscopic city below, tiny ant people milling around.
"If they were willing," she said vaguely, pulling open a drawer and fingering through the tan tabs briefly before pulling out one thick manila folder. She turned to Wyatt and handed him the stack with a bright smile. "She gets a lot done."
I smiled, shy, and looked down to my shoes before looking out over the floor again, my eyes moving to the group of three other people speaking to Mark. All guys made up that group, each very different from the next. One looked rather easy-going and introverted, nearly hiding behind a clipboard. One looked happy and radiant, wearing bright colours and glowing with health and joy, cheeks ruddy. The last was composed and wearing simple, but sleek, clothes and looking relaxed yet put together and classy. The ruddy one looked over at me, smile growing. I quickly looked away, meeting Maya's eyes. She was watching me, smiling still. Wyatt was engrossed in my file, and I was too nervous to watch him. I focused on Maya.
"So, you're, what, eighteen?" she asked. I nodded. Maya smiled wider, nodding. "I'm twenty, and we have two twenty-three year olds and one eighteen year old such as yourself up here. I think you'd fit in well. We're all Uni students, and we all prefer to keep to the background. None of us are really that outgoing or loud, but we appreciate brightness, beauty, and happiness. Mark wouldn't mind you coming up here even though HR reps and accountants typically work up here... and we'd be more than happy to have you."
I was stunned, never really having anyone invite me to spend more time with them, other than Wyatt and my family of course. I never had a friend. I never hung out with anyone, so I didn't know how to react to this sudden act of kindness from someone I barely knew. I blinked at her, making her get a little nervous, her brow wrinkling and her smile straining slightly. I then smiled, still a bit stunned.
"I would love to," I said, a bit breathless. Maya grinned, her eyes lighting
"Great!" she exclaimed happily, rushing off towards Mark before I could blink again. I stared after her, jaw slacked, eyes wide with amazement. Was I actually making friends?
"You seem to be getting on quite well," Wyatt suddenly said, turning my attention to him. He was looking at me again, smiling, but there seemed to be a space between us, reserved. I gave him a shy, slight, smile, barely meeting his eyes.
"This is the first time I talked to anyone without work in the subject," I said quietly. Just a few seconds alone with him and I was already spilling my guts. I laughed, grimacing. Wyatt's smile was diminishing. "The only person who has spoken to me about anything but school or work in weeks was Delilah. You can imagine how that goes over."
"You know always here-'
"I know, but it's not the best option," I interrupted him, staring into space next to him, my eyes twitching from his chest and into space and back again, scared to look directly at him while we were alone together like this. He was stiff, quiet, and I couldn't hear him breathing. Just as my eyes were about to look up at him, he sighed deeply, closing my file.
"Well, your work is what I expected. Commercial and basic instinct, not much depth, but it's not really your fault. I can see your technique is improving. I can't wait to see your assignments for class," he said, his tone slightly monotone, as if he had said this a thousand times. He probably has, since he, like me, was not very sociable. The people he interacted with were coworkers and students.
My eyes lifted to his, meeting his staring green They were spacey, empty and drained. He looked exhausted. I felt a wave of intense emotion rush through me, concern and yearning. I opened my mouth, but I was too late.
"Noelle! Come meet your new floormates!" Mark shouted from across the turning both Wyatt and my heads to him. He was waving, grinning wide.
I glanced at then ducked my head away, tucking hair behind my ear nervously, and rushed off towards the waiting group. I felt as if a part of me was ripping away. It was painful, but I plastered on a smile anyway.