Misguided

12. Morning after

Loki slowly thrusts inside me making sure it doesn't hurt me. From my small whimpers he immediately asks if it hurt too much. "It feels good." I say even though it did sting a bit, but that's how I like it.
As he starts moving in and out faster I moan slightly on every thrust. He lifts my legs on his shoulders to get in deeper and immediately hitting the right spot. I moan loudly from the pleasure that releases.
My hands cuffed on the bed made it feel so unfair, because I couldn't touch him. I want to touch his muscular chest and shoulders, but I couldn't. But the way I was tied made me feel so helpless and powerless. He could do everything he ever wanted to me and I couldn't do a thing about it. That was the thought that made me so aroused. I was all on his mercy, but luckily I trust him. I would let him do everything to me.

It barely took five minutes for me to be on the break of an orgasm. Just when I thought I was about to have the pleasure of a lifetime, Loki pinches on my side in a way that didn't hurt, but made the blurry vision go away and the pit in my stomach disappear. Suddenly I felt normal again.
He pulls out and flips me over. Continuing to bang me from behind.
Never tried it this way and oh god does it feel amazing. With other hand he grabs my hair and pulls it back. I moan louder than before as I enjoy the ride.

We made love all night long. It was so different than what I had used to. Everytime I was close to an orgasm, he would pinch me somewhere to level me back to zero and change positions. But the grand finale at the end when sun was already getting up, we both came the same time. I felt like a beginner next to how long he lasted. But the ending was worth the wait, because the trembling pleasure lasted longer than any other.
We tried all the positions I could ever think of and more. My favorite has to be me riding him, because that's when I get to decide the speed.
The odd thing was that even when he handled me roughly, there was still softness to it.

I slowly stroke his hands that are around me. He is hugging me from behind gently as we lay under the blanket.
Everything in this moment felt so unreal. I find myself thinking about did this all really happen or was it just a dream. The sun starts shining through the window straight into my eyes and I turn around facing Loki. I place my head on his chest and hug him just to make sure this is real. His hand goes through my hair as he gently pets my head.
I realized I hadn't slept at all. Should I try to sleep a little now? Even though I close my eyes and feel calm, I don't want to sleep at all. This moment is so special that sleeping didn't feel like an option even if it was the rational thing to do.
He lifts my chin up and gives me a gentle kiss. "Morning darling." I giggle a little and say "Good morning to you too." He pecks another small kiss before getting up from the bed. The cold air comes under the blanket and I pull it tightly over my head to keep the nice warm feeling. I hear Loki putting on his clothes and walking around.
"Are you hungry?" As an answer I mumble something of an yes sounding.
I don't move from under the blanket the whole time I hear him cook. It was too comfortable.
As I am focused on my thoughts I'm suddenly pulled from under the blanket by my leg. I let out a squawk from the surprise. My naked body is fully exposed to the cool air and Loki looks at me with a smile. I try to reach for the blanket but he pins me down on the bed. A second we just look into each other's eyes until he crashes his lips into mine. He lifts me up still kissing me and I wrap my arms around him.
He slowly breaks the kiss and says "You should get dressed before you freeze." I look around the room and see the lace undergarments on the floor. That's all I have after Ikol changed up my clothing. She made my old clothes disappear. "I don't think those will warm me up." I say to Loki while pointing at the lump of white lace on the floor. "Did you come in with those on or did she turn your clothes into that?" I roll my eyes and look at Loki as if the answer should be obvious. "My point is that I need my old clothes back." I say without answering to his stupid question. "I don't know what kind of clothes you had, but I can give you something I think suits you."
The green glimmer starts to appear around me and I feel fabric hugging my body. As the light fades away I see a beautiful light green dress that fit me perfectly. It looked really expensive. "I- I can't accept this." He chuckles and says "It looks dashing on you, keep it." I hug him tightly and whisper "thank you" in his ear.

"Breakfast is ready if you are hungry." I nod and we go sit down around the table. I start to eat immediately as I get a plate in front of me. I don't think I have ever felt so hungry. As I'm almost halfway through the meal I realized Loki hadn't eaten at all. I lift my head from the plate and see his amused look staring straight back. "What?" He seems to snap away from thoughts and chuckles "nothing". I rase an eyebrow and ask "Is there something on my face?" He shakes his head "No, I just think it's so cute that you don't think about being unnecessary fancy around me."
I realize I had wolf down half of my plate in a minute, probably even eating with both hands. "I'm sorry you had to witness that." I say embarrassed. He reaches for my chin across the table to kiss me. "I just want you to be yourself."

Even though I was tired I wanted to walk home with Loki. He tried to get me on the horse so we would get there faster and I could go to sleep, but I wanted more time to talk. He agreed it would be nice to walk in peace and just talk about anything.

As we walk, one question was circling in my mind and I had to ask it. "This may sound like an odd question but I can't think of an answer. When you change into anyone through illusion, it doesn't seem to hurt you, but when Ikol started to change into you, she was screaming in pain, why?" He scowls his eyebrows, it's hard to read if the question made him surprised or a little angry. "Ikol? So that's what she's calling herself now. Well it hurts her because when I change into her or she to me, it's not illusion. Our bodies are different sizes and lengths so the muscles move around and grow or shrink same as bones. It's not pleasant at all and you really don't get used to it." I nod slowly trying to wrap my head around the thought of how it would feel if it happened to me. He continues "The pain isn't actually the worst part. The mental state is worse. When she takes over I get left in darkness that feels like eternity. You don't have a form and only thing you can hear is the echo of her thoughts. I mean I have woken up in the weirdest places, having no idea what kind of evil she has done and I have gotten in so much trouble because of her. The memory always comes back in pieces and slowly. But it is not even comparable with the mental hell."
I stop walking to hug him. I don't understand how he can deal with all of this and still feel so cool on the outside. Behind those eyes is a complete chaos. His hand gently strokes my neck as he says "Are you sure that she didn't hurt you?" I nod and say "yes". He continues, "It's just that you have a lot of strange marks around your neck and you have a cut in the middle of your chest." I hadn't looked in the mirror so I had no idea of the bruising on my neck. "Oh no, I can't let my mother see this. I wouldn't know how to explain." He smiles and says "I would suggest that you wear a scarf." And I agree.

As we get close enough to my house we don't say much for good bye, but we hug. A long hug, a kiss and a small wave as we start going our separate ways. I walk home feeling a little sad about Loki. I wanted to take care of him, make him feel better, but I'm not sure if I'm strong enough. He had a lot on his plate.

I first go to my room to wrap a scarf around my neck and then I go see if my mother was okay. She was sitting at the table eating bread. I say good morning and sit next to her. She seemed to be feeling good today, good enough to walk a little. I hope this time she will start actually getting better.
"Caitlin you have been quite distant lately, is something wrong?" I'm a little surprised of the question, I didn't think she would notice. "No, I'm completely fine. I have just been a little tired lately." She nods but I don't think she believed me. "You know you can always talk about anything to me." I smile and say "I know".

I felt tired and went to sleep a little bit. After that I took my mother at the market and we made some food together. It was nice seeing her healthy and happy again. Spending the evening talking about different topics was also something I had missed. We hadn't talked properly in a while.
As we decide to go to sleep finally, I walk in my room and close the door behind me. I turn around and suddenly a hand blocks my mouth and I try to scream. "Shh... shhh.. It's me." The voice calms me down. He slowly let's go of my head and I breathe deeply. He scared me to death. There's so many other ways he could have done this. But most important question first, "Thor, what are you doing here?!"